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My friends wife keeps hitting on me in front of him, and it makes me uncomfortable and I have NO interest. He is introverted and not outspoken. And no, I am not misreading things. Last time we were together she out loud said something along the lines if X happens then I will marry (me). One time she said something like "what would you do or what if I hooked up with" (me). Then I always get this creepy uncle vibe from her. Like the stares and hugs are a little too long and things just feel sexually creepy and weird.
Why would she do this in front of her husband? I feel like she wears the pants in the relationship because he is so introverted and passive. Maybe because she knows he won't do anything or is testing him? Also, she is always trying to set me up with her friends, which is good.
One things for sure, don't be like the husband and be passive about it. It might be how she has learned to address men.. and many will just shrug it off. Directly tell her that her behavior makes you uncomfortable.
This is no different if the tables were turned and it was a man being inappropriate to women.
Maybe they have an open relationship and he doesn't care if you end up in their bed with them or not?
Instead of asking a forum full of strangers, maybe you should ask him your question? He would have insight that we don't into their relationship dynamics.
My friends wife keeps hitting on me in front of him, and it makes me uncomfortable and I have NO interest. He is introverted and not outspoken. And no, I am not misreading things. Last time we were together she out loud said something along the lines if X happens then I will marry (me). One time she said something like "what would you do or what if I hooked up with" (me). Then I always get this creepy uncle vibe from her. Like the stares and hugs are a little too long and things just feel sexually creepy and weird.
Why would she do this in front of her husband? I feel like she wears the pants in the relationship because he is so introverted and passive. Maybe because she knows he won't do anything or is testing him? Also, she is always trying to set me up with her friends, which is good.
... unless her friends are like her, which is bad.
Sounds like you need to come up with a shut-down line for when she starts this. Can you not hang out with him without her?
Have you actually told her point blank "Don't say that!" and pulled away from her overly long hugs? if not she may think that there is hope for an affair with you.
Directly tell her that her behavior makes you uncomfortable.
This is no different if the tables were turned and it was a man being inappropriate to women.
Yes, definitely. If she thinks she can get away with inappropriate behavior because she's a woman, that's BS. If she thinks she's being cute, that's misguided. Tell her in no uncertain terms that her comments are unwanted, and if she continues, then you'll have to make a bigger decision about associating with these people.
Have you actually told her point blank "Don't say that!" and pulled away from her overly long hugs? if not she may think that there is hope for an affair with you.
Yeah, you should act like her husband's reverse wingman, OP. Just look at him and say, "Is this OK with you? Because I don't think it would be ok with you."
... unless her friends are like her, which is bad.
Sounds like you need to come up with a shut-down line for when she starts this. Can you not hang out with him without her?
I actually try to get us to do things outside of their house when she is there. My question remains, why would she do this in front of him? I'm afraid its a big step to say something. It's a delicate line to cross and could make things seem even worse and like acknowledging there is a problem and she offended me. I really only see him like twice a month and she isn't around every time. Just seems like it is best to ignore it for now.
I actually try to get us to do things outside of their house when she is there. My question remains, why would she do this in front of him? I'm afraid its a big step to say something. It's a delicate line to cross and could make things seem even worse and like acknowledging there is a problem and she offended me. I really only see him like twice a month and she isn't around every time. Just seems like it is best to ignore it for now.
There are ways to avoid and minimize hugs, and you definitely should limit your time with him to one-on-one. Maybe suggest that you and he meet up someplace to eat or have a beer, etc.
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