"Is this the right answer?" (dating, married, feeling)

[Flavia84]

Question for the community:
Talking to someone on a dating site. Asked him a question about himself, nothing too deeply personal. His response was kind of awkward, followed by "Is this the right answer?"

It kind of rubbed me the wrong way because it sounds like this person is trying to guess what response would be best instead of giving his authentic opinion. Am I overthinking this?

[timberline742]

They were trying to be funny, and their sense of humor doesn't align with yours. Nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't a sincere question.

[SWFL_Native]

How about providing the specific question and answer for context?

Is that the right question...

[JerZ]

Aww, poor dude. Maybe he just wasn't sure WHAT she was asking. For instance, "tell me about yourself" or something vague like this is hard to answer...because where do you start? Or...what is the person looking for? Info on your deepest insights? Your hobbies? Your preference for ketchup v. mayo on french fries?

So what was the question he was asked?

[BirdieBelle]

Maybe being funny? Fell flat.

Maybe being sarcastic? Doesn't often translate so early on.

[jaycich]

He prolly thought it was some kinda sh*t test.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by timberline742

They were trying to be funny, and their sense of humor doesn't align with yours. Nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't a sincere question.

This. If I were you, OP, I'd have responded something like, "Is that a joke", or "haha" followed by a comment on the answer.

Situations like this are why emojis were invented, btw.

[CBeisbol]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

Am I overthinking this?

Probably, yes

[rigby06]

Ask a specific question you will get a specific answer, like how tall are you? are you married? what color are your eyes.


As a general question and you are going to get a more general answer, like What are you political leanings?

[typical_guinea_pig]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

Question for the community:
Talking to someone on a dating site. Asked him a question about himself, nothing too deeply personal. His response was kind of awkward, followed by "Is this the right answer?"

It kind of rubbed me the wrong way because it sounds like this person is trying to guess what response would be best instead of giving his authentic opinion. Am I overthinking this?

I don't think he was trying to guess the right response, and his answer may very well have been authentic. Without knowing what your query actually was, and it's irrelevant anyway, but I would say that the your query didn't resonate with him for some reason. Regardless of your intentions, it may have felt as if you were asking for informational data-gathering reasons, rather than just wanting to get to know him or asking out of genuine interest. His "Is this the right answer?" could have also been a dryly humorous attempt to not express that he really didn't resonate with the query. Maybe he just doesn't like emotional intimacy and so he's already setting the ground for being hard to get to know. Who can really say, except him?

I don't think you're overthinking it, but I think you should pay more attention to your feeling of "being rubbed the wrong way" and not trivialize it by thinking you might be overthinking. Wondering if you're overthinking indicates you're trying to ignore or transcend the gut feeling that you aren't really resonating with him, probably because you wish you did, because you want a great relationship. Focus on that (the great relationship you want) and don't be afraid to let go of anybody whom your gut says isn't that person. The "red flags" that most people see in hindsight are always there from the very beginning! And a red flag is in no way a judgement on the other person, that anything is wrong with them...a red flag is simply telling you stop and reassess about how this situation is aligning with your ultimate goal.