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i think your comment is just pathetic really. A relationship between two people requires work and compromise from two sides. I did nothing more than send a text to see how he is and I asked him to meet before he leaves, as he had asked me anyway to come visit me but i could not spend all day together as he wanted
in this case.
If you dont fancy your husband thats fine. I dont chase men either never asked a man out.
You also dont seem to have any sense of humour.
Sorry for you
Did I once say we don't compromise? did I once say I didn't fancy my husband? We spend time together. We have a family and pets and lots of fun together. But we do not need to talk constantly to prove we like each other. Or spend all our time together. Or cling to each other for dear life. And if I had acted like you are with him after 4 dates, he would have run for the hills and never looked back.
I was actually trying to offer help to you, and make you look in the mirror and see you are out of control obsessing about this. That if you want any chance with this person you need to tone it down.
You don't know this person. You have had 4 dates. That is all. He is an acquaintance nothing more. You are all over the place and completely obsessed with " how this is going to go". If he hasn't already I am sure he is going to pick up on your anxiousness and obsessing about it.
Maybe she didn't...so what....
did you get up on the wrong side of the bed????
Dude, read the other thread before you start busting on that post. This is a rehash of a very messed up thread. Honestly, it should be removed. Just Read. The. Thread. Cray cray.
I don't like that he's so pushy about sex. Because he is so pushy, that tells me getting laid is his #1 goal. Maybe he wants a relationship, but that's secondary to getting laid.
With that being said, he knows that pushing is going to work with you.
You told him you didn't want to kiss on the second date, yet you gave in and kissed. You've told him you want to get to know him better before having sex, yet you invite him to stay overnight and you sext with him.
OP, does this sound like "taking things slowly" to you?
Ugh. So basically, he's telling you what he thinks of you, and he's showing you loud and clear why he's interested in you. Hint: it's not for your kind heart or your brilliant mind. Or your cooking skills.
I don't like that he's so pushy about sex. Because he is so pushy, that tells me getting laid is his #1 goal. Maybe he wants a relationship, but that's secondary to getting laid.
With that being said, he knows that pushing is going to work with you.
You told him you didn't want to kiss on the second date, yet you gave in and kissed. You've told him you want to get to know him better before having sex,yet you invite him to stay overnight and you sext with him.
Jeez, how did I miss the underlined? I have some catching up to do on these threads....
OP, I think we've already concluded from your other thread, that he cannot be trusted, in other words, he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear. That's why you're confused; he's not being honest. One moment, he says he wants to take things slowly, the next moment, he wants to take you away on a weekend trip, and yet another moment, he says he's bored with his life, and wants excitement, and asks if you are "up to the challenge". This, plus sex talk at various times (in spite of his saying he wants to take things slowly).
All this, on a background of having seen each other only 4 times.
And the whole thing about wanting to "make you happy" is odd. It's almost as if he's already talking about a long future together, which is clearly inappropriate (as you gently pointed out to him, but he missed the point), and he's stating that as your partner, his mission in life (he claims) would be to make you happy.
That is way over the top. It's as if he's spouting romantic lines he learned from films, because he thinks this is what wins women over. Yet you're only in the beginning stage of getting to know each other. You're not getting engaged; you're only trying to become acquainted with each other. Yet already (supposedly), he wants to dedicate himself to making you happy.
How did you meet this guy? I think you like the attention, so you've become a little bit attached to the attention, but his talk isn't making sense, and in some ways, he's contradicting himself in his attempts to impress you, so you're confused. He's trying to move too fast, while pretending to want to "take things slowly".
You need to let this one go. For your own peace of mind. If there's this much confusion (and dishonesty, and subtle pushiness) at this early stage, it's a warning sign, IMO. Things will not improve. You'll probably end up compromising yourself, and then regretting it, and he will move on to someone else, and then how will you feel?
News flash: some men will say one thing, while intending to do something very differently, just to get what they want out of a woman. This is the man you're dealing with. Believe it, and work on finding someone else.
hmmm... but if he is happy from me why would he wanna find someone else? Also sex is a natural part so we will have sex anyway. What I cant understand is why would someone play that kind of game. I am not stupid, its very clear for him to see.
The ONLY thing I can think of, is if he already is attached and wants fun on the side, for someone to want to play that kind of game. At this stage, of course I am not sure he is honest with me. Obviously I understand he is a man and wants to have sex as I want because I am attracted.
But also I am quite guarded about things because I do not know him. I will def try to find more info about him apart from what he says to me
I am just a bit in doubt about this last thing he said, seemed a bit strange.
I guess i just want to protect myself
Look, OP; anyone who leaves you feeling confused to this extent is not a good person for you. It's not a good match, pure and simple. There are better guys out there. Being alone with no guy is better than being with someone who pushes you, tries to manipulate and deceive you, and makes you uncomfortable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrisaki;
Well I guess i will see in time
No. Do not do any "seeing, in time". You already know what he wants from you. He's made it quite clear visually, graphically, in spite of his words to the contrary. What more do you need to see? You've already seen it all. There's nothing more to see. If you waste any more time with him after he returns, you'll only end up more confused, and definitely unhappy.
Besides, you already pretty much promised him sex upon his return, so you'll have to deliver, he'll expect that, if you agree to see him again. Enough! There has been enough "seeing".
anyway the low down is, i need to see how things go but continue being guarded and not invest.
talk obv is cheap. as for the sex part, I have discussed this with some male friends of mine, and they told me some men can literally go crazy over this sometimes as the testosterone increase can drive them bonkers. So I really cannot know how they may feel.
I will continue to stay guarded. I cannot deny the fact though that I am attracted to him
Everyone, please note that a second thread on essentially the same topic has been merged today into this original thread. That explains the gap in posting dates.
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Look, OP; anyone who leaves you feeling confused to this extent is not a good person for you. It's not a good match, pure and simple. There are better guys out there. Being alone with no guy is better than being with someone who pushes you, tries to manipulate and deceive you, and makes you uncomfortable.
No. Do not do any "seeing, in time". You already know what he wants from you. He's made it quite clear visually, graphically, in spite of his words to the contrary. What more do you need to see? You've already seen it all. There's nothing more to see. If you waste any more time with him after he returns, you'll only end up more confused, and definitely unhappy.
Besides, you already pretty much promised him sex upon his return, so you'll have to deliver, he'll expect that, if you agree to see him again. Enough! There has been enough "seeing".
When we talked today morning he said he wants to see me immediately after he comes back for a drink.
Wouldnt anyone be confused by this behaviour??
I know many would be, its common sense
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