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OP, I was married to a man for 17 years, in a great profession, highly educated (Phd), very accomplished - and he never owned a car and never drove. It worked out fine - lived in eight different states together.
The point is there are plenty of people who do not drive and do not own cars.
Some people in the U.S. are not aware of this and live in unawareness and ignorance of it.
I am not speaking to wherever you happen to live, OP - because you have not said where you live - but you did say your boyfriend took a bus for your first date to your residence. I'm just pointing out that it can be done. (not sure in your locale, maybe not in your locale)
Sometimes when people are in a relationship they move to homes/apts closer to each other and on bus/light rail routes - NOT 25 miles apart like you and your boyfriend are.
People who want to live without a car usually lived on or very near bus lines and/or rail lines - and often choose to live in towns/cities which have very good bus systems. And as I mentioned earlier, there are tons of small and medium-sized college/university towns which have very good bus systems all over the U.S.
She said she lives in Southern California, and I have lived out there, you most definitely need a car for the most part. The buses and train does not go everywhere, the routes do comes to an end at some point. Yes, you can get by without a car, but you have to be in a city or metro where you can do that. Not every large city or metro have extensive public transportation, and very limited in many places. There are probably just a handful of cities where extensive 24/7 bus and train routes exist. A bike, moped, or motorcycle would also work.
Dump the loser. He's dragging you down and will continue to do this as long as you allow it and he's a liar. He's giving you excuses about not driving which are lies. Who wants a liar and a loser. Maybe he's lying because he's a loser and wants to hide that fact that he's a loser, but he's still a liar and a loser.
You're better off alone and reading magazines and doing word puzzles in the library . You're wasting your time with him. I'd dump him and ghost him from that point forward if he tries to contact you again.
Not every large city or metro have extensive public transportation, and very limited in many places. There are probably just a handful of cities where extensive bus (and some train) routes exist.
Sorry, you are completely wrong. You do not know what you are talking about. Read my earlier posts more toward the beginning & middle of this thread if you care to educate yourself. But if not, stay in your lack of knowledge.
There are medium-sized, large, and larger cities all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems and some have rail.
And there are small and medium-sized college and university towns all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems.
(I understand that living in Southern California one wants/needs a car)
It's not really up to OP or any of us to decide what is or isn't adequate public transit for her boyfriend. He presumably has been able to feed himself and keep his job with the transit options available to him, and likely has been doing so long before meeting OP. So for him it's adequate.
What is up to OP is whether she will be shallow enough to make this sole criterion a deal breaker, which she has every right to do. But why come here for validation?
It's not really up to OP or any of us to decide what is or isn't adequate public transit for her boyfriend. He presumably has been able to feed himself and keep his job with the transit options available to him, and likely has been doing so long before meeting OP. So for him it's adequate.
What is up to OP is whether she will be shallow enough to make this sole criterion a deal breaker, which she has every right to do. But why come here for validation?
I'm not. I'm here to see other peoples opinions because that's what this forum is for.
Many people in the U.S., Europe, and in the world, do not drive and do not own a car. It certainly does not equate to not being independent nor does it equate to lacking initiative.
In this case, I think it does. He's not being forthright about the real reason he hasn't gotten a car and doesn't like driving. If he would admit he just doesn't want to spend the money, or that he has a fear of driving, or just doesn't like driving, that would be one thing....but when he strings her along with "I'll get a car soon"... that's a whole different kettle of fish.
Sorry, you are completely wrong. You do not know what you are talking about. Read my earlier posts more toward the beginning & middle of this thread if you care to educate yourself. But if not, stay in your lack of knowledge.
There are medium-sized, large, and larger cities all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems and some have rail.
And there are small and medium-sized college and university towns all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems.
(I understand that living in Southern California one wants/needs a car)
So what happens when somewhere you need to be isn’t on a bus route? What happens when the bus stops running? How do you manage 4 bags of groceries? It’s not the public transportation nirvana you pretend it to be. For most of us, time is very valuable. I’m in Europe frequently so I’m familiar with good public transportation. It barely exists in the US.
Sorry, you are completely wrong. You do not know what you are talking about. Read my earlier posts more toward the beginning & middle of this thread if you care to educate yourself. But if not, stay in your lack of knowledge.
There are medium-sized, large, and larger cities all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems and some have rail.
And there are small and medium-sized college and university towns all over the U.S. which have very good bus systems.
(I understand that living in Southern California one wants/needs a car)
No, I'm not completely wrong. Sorry I touched a nerve in you, that you try to discredit me and put me down. I am college educated, and a long military career, I have lived in big and large metros all over this country, and around the world. Nobody can beat military buddies discovering their new city, and many times I had to go pick up guys to bring them back to base. I can speak from my experience thank you.
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