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But ocnjgirl your relationship sounds like a marriage or at least a stable years-long relationship. If I was in a relationship of less than a year I certainly would not be putting my entire paycheck into a joint account, male or female!
OP, I truly mean no offense to you by my post, and my words flow without judgment. Please know that.
You strike me as a woman who is desperate to have a man in her life, utterly desperate. From that place, your better and self-protecting judgment takes a waaaay backseat to your abject need to have a partner. I believe when one comes from a place of a need-based pursuit rather than a desire-based pursuit, of anything in life, that person tends to make decisions the person would not otherwise make were that person less desperate to have his/her need met. Based on what I have read from your posts, you appear to be engaged in hamster-on-a-wheel thinking and you're just spinning in your thoughts because you are so lost and see no way out. When I say "no way out," I mean you emotionally feel this man, who you think you so desperately need, slipping through your emotional fingers. What you hold so tightly it can't breathe, you suffocate and it dies.
Let him go; he is most certainly using your emotional needs against you because he can sense (like I think most of us can here) how utterly desperate you are to have a man in your life. That is abusive and cruel of him to do. Think enough of yourself to not allow others to maltreat you, please. You deserve better than that because you ARE better than that. I'll add, your precious children do not need to be exposed to this dog-and-pony show of a dysfunctional relationship. They deserve better too, and you are the one to make that happen. THAT is your responsibility as their mom.
Take a break from your manhunt and spend that time looking at and figuring out why the common denominator to your LowonLuck woes, you, are so empty without a man in your life. My positive thoughts are with you.
We had an argument this past weekend and I packed his things and told him he was free to leave. He quickly got less mad. Seriouslyi have broke up with the previous two men. Actually most of my exes left because of my decision. Only sons father cheated and left on his own. I do put up with more than I should but when I have had enough, I have really had enough
You can't trust him to pay you the agreed upon amount with out fights, so no, he is not trust worthy.
How could you not see that?
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We had an argument this past weekend and I packed his things and told him he was free to leave. He quickly got less mad. Seriouslyi have broke up with the previous two men. Actually most of my exes left because of my decision. Only sons father cheated and left on his own. I do put up with more than I should but when I have had enough, I have really had enough
OP, I truly mean no offense to you by my post, and my words flow without judgment. Please know that.
You strike me as a woman who is desperate to have a man in her life, utterly desperate. From that place, your better and self-protecting judgment takes a waaaay backseat to your abject need to have a partner. I believe when one comes from a place of a need-based pursuit rather than a desire-based pursuit, of anything in life, that person tends to make decisions the person would not otherwise make were that person less desperate to have his/her need met. Based on what I have read from your posts, you appear to be engaged in hamster-on-a-wheel thinking and you're just spinning in your thoughts because you are so lost and see no way out. When I say "no way out," I mean you emotionally feel this man, who you think you so desperately need, slipping through your emotional fingers. What you hold so tightly it can't breathe, you suffocate and it dies.
Let him go; he is most certainly using your emotional needs against you because he can sense (like I think most of us can here) how utterly desperate you are to have a man in your life. That is abusive and cruel of him to do. Think enough of yourself to not allow others to maltreat you, please. You deserve better than that because you ARE better than that. I'll add, your precious children do not need to be exposed to this dog-and-pony show of a dysfunctional relationship. They deserve better too, and you are the one to make that happen. THAT is your responsibility as their mom.
Take a break from your manhunt and spend that time looking at and figuring out why the common denominator to your LowonLuck woes, you, are so empty without a man in your life. My positive thoughts are with you.
Agreed, he "trusts" that he will never pay you back the money he owes you. He trusts that you will keep paying for everything. He trusts that he will never show you his personal finances or share any accounts.
OP, I truly mean no offense to you by my post, and my words flow without judgment. Please know that.
You strike me as a woman who is desperate to have a man in her life, utterly desperate. From that place, your better and self-protecting judgment takes a waaaay backseat to your abject need to have a partner. I believe when one comes from a place of a need-based pursuit rather than a desire-based pursuit, of anything in life, that person tends to make decisions the person would not otherwise make were that person less desperate to have his/her need met. Based on what I have read from your posts, you appear to be engaged in hamster-on-a-wheel thinking and you're just spinning in your thoughts because you are so lost and see no way out. When I say "no way out," I mean you emotionally feel this man, who you think you so desperately need, slipping through your emotional fingers. What you hold so tightly it can't breathe, you suffocate and it dies.
Let him go; he is most certainly using your emotional needs against you because he can sense (like I think most of us can here) how utterly desperate you are to have a man in your life. That is abusive and cruel of him to do. Think enough of yourself to not allow others to maltreat you, please. You deserve better than that because you ARE better than that. I'll add, your precious children do not need to be exposed to this dog-and-pony show of a dysfunctional relationship. They deserve better too, and you are the one to make that happen. THAT is your responsibility as their mom.
Take a break from your manhunt and spend that time looking at and figuring out why the common denominator to your LowonLuck woes, you, are so empty without a man in your life. My positive thoughts are with you.
Folks have been telling her this since the minute she joined, she won't listen. And she wonders why nothing is working.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
We had an argument this past weekend and I packed his things and told him he was free to leave. He quickly got less mad. Seriouslyi have broke up with the previous two men. Actually most of my exes left because of my decision. Only sons father cheated and left on his own. I do put up with more than I should but when I have had enough, I have really had enough
Basically what it boils down to. "When I'm really truly tired, I'll leave." I just wish she would stick to this without trying to involve everyone else here.
I am excellent at personal finance. Seriously it is the only way that I have been able to be a single mom for 14 years, support children with major health issues, take time off work for periods of time, own multiple houses, drive nice cars, have savings, go on vacations...all while not living paycheck to paycheck. Not many people can say that.
Most people would not consider 5 homes in 15 years, dozens of cars in 20 years, and 10 jobs in an equally short period with periods of time totally off work to be indicative of someone who is excellent at personal finance. That seems to me more like flying by the seat of your pants and hoping for the best.
This type of pettiness you're describing about him just chips away at the the relationship, this type of behavior becomes too exhausting to be around.
I was with someone that was incredibly cheap - ugh. I realized I didn't have respect for him, just takes away any happiness.
Cheap and petty people are an embarrassment to themselves, lack integrity, but usually they're too ignorant to realize it.
Decide how you want to live your life. I do agree with other posts about living separately or better yet think about going your own way and have happiness with your kids, this way you can keep the "space" in your life for someone more compatible that fits with you better.
It's better to be in your own company than being in the wrong company.
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