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OP: just an idea, why don't you call or text the guy you were originally going to going to the fair with, say something like "I'm sorry...since I didn't hear back from you from 2 days, so I thought or assumed you no longer wanted to go, which is why I had been confused and replied with a no response when you asked the night before the fair?" And then tell him you are actually still very much interested in going on a date or to the fair with him? If I was in your shoes and I thought there was a good chance that he was still interested in a date after all of the developments so far, that's what I would probably do... Maybe it's not too late, if he is still interested in you? Anyway, just a possible thought...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 07-27-2018 at 01:23 PM..
Reason: Accidental typo
Honestly I think you're blowing this, big time. You haven't even met him yet. Whether or not he's still on and/or talking to other people isn't your business. You brought it up once in a joking way, ok fine, not a big deal. But the fact that you kept bringing it up again and again I can see is off putting to him. You should've just dropped it after the first comment and let it go. He might've been interested in you before this, but now I'm sure he's questioning whether he wants to get involved with a girl who is going to be grilling him on stupid things all the time. I think he would be justified in being uncomfortable with the idea of you at this point.
Exactly. This obsession with whether or not he is online is so odd. Just get over it OP.
it's already over, and he still wanted to go, but I was annoyed about all that, and then that I figured he just disappeared, because it was 2 days and then he pops up at the last minute, the night before, to ask if we're still on...uh what? I figured he just disappeared, and started to forget about it, then it just seems like he waited until the last minute because no one else was available, and then tries to make me feel guilty, like it's all my fault.
So you think a guy you don't know, have never met etc should constantly communicate with you in advance of the first meeting?
So you think a guy you don't know, have never met etc should constantly communicate with you in advance of the first meeting?
I didn't say constantly...but when you talked practically every day before that, and then don't hear anything for the 2 days before you were supposedly supposed to go out...and then they pop back up the night before at the last minute, asking if you're still on...uh, that's kind of weird also.
OP: just an idea, why don't you call or text the guy you were originally going to going to the fair with, say something like "I'm sorry...since I didn't hear back from you from 2 days, so I thought or assumed you no longer wanted to go, which is why I had been confused and replied with a no response when you asked the night before the fair?" And then tell him you are actually still very much interested in going on a date or to the fair with him? If I was in your shoes and I thought there was a good chance that he was still interested in a data after all of the developments so far, that's what I would probably do... Maybe it's not too late, if he is still interested in you? Anyway, just a possible thought...
that's what I'm tempted to do, being the "nice" person that usually blames myself and just wants to makeup...but after all that... he said he still wanted to go, and that he'd "still" go on a date...I said I did want to go (before all that)
that's what I'm tempted to do, being the "nice" person that usually blames myself and just wants to makeup...but after all that... he said he still wanted to go, and that he'd "still" go on a date...I said I did want to go (before all that)
OK, so where do things stand now? It's not quite clear. Didn't you tell him you two weren't compatible?
OK, so where do things stand now? It's not quite clear. Didn't you tell him you two weren't compatible?
yes, that afternoon, when he still wanted to go, and said it was me that didn't trust him, and that I didn't have any proof and he's not a liar, etc. etc. etc., just the same stuff and just making it seem like it was my fault. so I said I did want to go, but obviously it wasn't going to happen now, and it's too bad it didn't work out, but obviously sitting there keep going over the same thing and making it seem like it's all my fault isn't going to help, and at least I had the courtesy to respond in a timely manner, so he could make other plans. that was a week ago, haven't heard from him since.
that's what I'm tempted to do, being the "nice" person that usually blames myself and just wants to makeup...but after all that... he said he still wanted to go, and that he'd "still" go on a date...I said I did want to go (before all that)
What are you supposed to talk about? You’ve scheduled a date. Goal achieved. Why risk running out of things to talk about, awkward conversations and so on before the date. The getting to know you convo should happen in person. Only so many ways to say how was your day.
also, transportation was the other issue - since it was in another town (where he lives), I could take the bus there, but then it stops running at like 6...and since he said he might get free tickets, and if he did, if I wanted to go...so I didn't even know if he was going to, and if he did, it's not like he'd be getting them just for me, and I figured we'd talk about it more later...and then since he seemed to disappear anyway, I thought well I guess we never had plans anyway. and of course he said he'd pick me up, but as I said, getting a ride from a stranger (even one you're going on a date with) isn't very wise, and he didn't seem to understand that either. I was going to suggest going to the one here instead (although I didn't know when it was), or do something else here, since that would be easier...but if he had really wanted to, you would think he would have thought of that or suggested it himself. So that annoyed me, because it kind of seemed like he just wanted to go to that one because he got free tickets, and didn't suggest anything else that would be easier for me to get to.
yes, that afternoon, when he still wanted to go, and said it was me that didn't trust him, and that I didn't have any proof and he's not a liar, etc. etc. etc., just the same stuff and just making it seem like it was my fault. so I said I did want to go, but obviously it wasn't going to happen now, and it's too bad it didn't work out, but obviously sitting there keep going over the same thing and making it seem like it's all my fault isn't going to help, and at least I had the courtesy to respond in a timely manner, so he could make other plans. that was a week ago, haven't heard from him since.
Train wreck. You could have salvaged it, in the moment, for the sake of giving him a chance in-person, but instead, you accused him of making everything your fault. He was right, in that you were repeatedly suspecting him, making joking accusations that he was online, etc. etc. The whole thing got off on the wrong foot, from that perspective. Sure, he could have admitted he forgot to call you the next day, but you'd been bombarding him already, with subtle accusations. You're lucky he was willing to go on a date with you at all, after that.
I mean, you shouldn't be surprised, that he was defensive, after those weird little jokey jabs about being online. Do you understand at least that much? And you'd have had plenty of opportunity to check him out in person. He might've been an ok guy. Or not. But the whole pre-date exchange should have been dismissed as a one-off, all things considered. Who knows, you might have actually had fun on the date, if you could have set the texting issues aside.
Oh well.
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Maybe it's not too late, if he is still interested in you? Anyway, just a possible thought...
he said he still wanted to go, and that he'd "still" go on a date...I said I did want to go (before all that)