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You're "suffering" because he flaps to soft porn pics?
You need professional help, and if you're already getting it, you need a lot more of it. If its not working, I suggest taking a break from relationships until you have control of your issues.
Honey...whatever is happening here goes so much deeper than porn or jealousy. I think you need a new therapist and I think it needs to be a psychiatrist this time. They can prescribe, if need be. Nobody should feel like this every day and it is coming from inside.
Honey...whatever is happening here goes so much deeper than porn or jealousy. I think you need a new therapist and I think it needs to be a psychiatrist this time. They can prescribe, if need be. Nobody should feel like this every day and it is coming from inside.
I remember her last thread, and I agree, this goes much deeper than sexy pics or jealousy. If I can recall, she mentions waking up in the morning to disturbing images of her bf tugging to pics and a sense of impending doom.
I could be wrong, but it really seems you have an undiagnosed mental problem, OP.
You might want to check out the Projection Theory! But for you to do that, you need to go down to the cellar of your subconscious mind and you might be surprised what's all down there!
My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 months. We are together for 1y4m. Two months before we moved in, he told me that he masturbates to sexy pics of women. I felt really cheated on and I am really suffering that he did that. He also told me, that he has a folder of pics that his photographer friends have taken of girls he knows and he used once those pics. He said that he didn't think of them, he just used the pics as he did hundreds of times before meeting me. He said that since we are together he used mostly porn and once pics of a real person( but the pics are soft porn). I am really hurt. He told me that he would only do it when really needed it and that he doesn't want any of those women in porn, that it is just the way he got used to do it since he was a teen. We now are working on our relationship, he swears he didn' t do since we talked 6 months ago and he doesn' t need it. Just last night we had a talk because I can t stop obessing over him masturbating over those pics and he said he will do whatever I want because I am the one and he doesn' t want us to end. He apologised over and over, but I still feel really angry anf hurt. What should I do?
yes forgive him. If he is working on it, then I'd allow him to do that. Don't keep asking him about it. Ensure those pictures are not in the house, burn them. If he has issue with that, then at that time, I would break up with him. That means he has no intention of even trying to fulfill the promise he made to you and you certainly are not, "the one"
If he does the right thing by getting rid of the porn, then forgive him. No one is perfect. Also ensure you both are friends with all of your friends. Some who are involved in live porn are not going to be good influences on him avoiding that very thing.
He's apologized so when he gets rid of the very thing causing his struggles, tell him you forgive him AND WILL NEVER bring it up. You will screw up too and would not like that screw up being held over your head constantly. If someone did that to me, I'd not want to be with them. That is far worse than his porn. Clearly there is nothing wrong with you, you are quite normal wanting respect, dignity and honor between you. Otherwise relationships based on perverted x rated material do not work. Those types of people hop from one unsuccessful relationship to the next never forming life long bonds with one person. They are programming their mind for that very thing so it's likely, that programming will take hold. Hopping from one bed to another accumulating STD's along the way is common. Stand tall, you are worth it.
Last edited by SimpleSonya; 09-02-2018 at 01:17 AM..
I don't think there is anything to forgive. Occasionally masturbating over pictures of random women? Sure! I'm not opposed to an image of some random hot guy myself! Just so long as it doesn't interfere with the two of you having a happy and healthy sexual relationship.
But real women he knows -- that's not okay. Those pictures need to be deleted/destroyed. And yes, forgive him for that particular lapse. People make mistakes.
Well, he told me he had a folder that he would use on occasions ( before me) and once he felt the urge to masturbate, he found the folder, did it, then he realised I wouldn t like if I saw it and he erased all the pics. He said he never thought of them as women, he just looked at pics as he would do to a porn clip. He said that now he doesn t want and need to do it, and all he wants is for us to be happy and go on with our life.
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