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^ Then definitely forgive him. He did not realize that you would object and he has taken steps to address and resolve your objections. Do everything you can to stop worrying about this and move on.
Having the pics of girls he know is a tad weird. Other than that, which would you prefer... he masturbates to erotica/porn OR he goes out and has sex with a woman in real life? He probably has a high sex drive and at least he's being honest with you but how he manages it. Get over it! Other guys will do the same thing and lie about it. Also, consider making some erotica for him. That might make you feel better. Whether or not he uses it is another story... **shrug**
My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 months. We are together for 1y4m. Two months before we moved in, he told me that he masturbates to sexy pics of women. I felt really cheated on and I am really suffering that he did that. He also told me, that he has a folder of pics that his photographer friends have taken of girls he knows and he used once those pics. He said that he didn't think of them, he just used the pics as he did hundreds of times before meeting me. He said that since we are together he used mostly porn and once pics of a real person( but the pics are soft porn). I am really hurt. He told me that he would only do it when really needed it and that he doesn't want any of those women in porn, that it is just the way he got used to do it since he was a teen. We now are working on our relationship, he swears he didn' t do since we talked 6 months ago and he doesn' t need it. Just last night we had a talk because I can t stop obessing over him masturbating over those pics and he said he will do whatever I want because I am the one and he doesn' t want us to end. He apologised over and over, but I still feel really angry anf hurt. What should I do?
OP, your BF is addicted to porn and objectifies women. You can't stop obsessing about it because his morals, and beliefs and values are counter to yours, and you find his porn use disgusting and degrading to women.
Leave the guy and let him be with a woman who finds porn use an attractive trait or quality in a guy.
You have a choice to find a guy who does not engage in those types of behaviors.
If you stay with your BF, you knowingly and willing condone his use of porn. Is that what you want in a man?
Break up with him stat. You will never be ok with this considering your last thread. Move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by self-made
OP, your BF is addicted to porn and objectifies women. You can't stop obsessing about it because his morals, and beliefs and values are counter to yours, and you find his porn use disgusting and degrading to women.
Leave the guy and let him be with a woman who finds porn use an attractive trait or quality in a guy.
You have a choice to find a guy who does not engage in those types of behaviors.
If you stay with your BF, you knowingly and willing condone his use of porn. Is that what you want in a man?
Sound advice OP.
You don't approve, he feels guilty and ashamed. You're 29 years of age and he is 30 years of age, I would have to say your "values" are set in stone, as are his so perhaps it's time you and he to part ways and find love with people whose preferences align with yours.
Truth be told, it doesn't appear that either of you will be content or happy in this relationship.
Best wishes, sincerely.
ETA: I don't think there is anything for you to forgive, your boyfriend is who he is as are you who you are. How many times are you going to "forgive" him and learn to tolerate that which makes you miserable?
yes forgive him. If he is working on it, then I'd allow him to do that. Don't keep asking him about it. Ensure those pictures are not in the house, burn them. If he has issue with that, then at that time, I would break up with him. That means he has no intention of even trying to fulfill the promise he made to you and you certainly are not, "the one"
If he does the right thing by getting rid of the porn, then forgive him. No one is perfect. Also ensure you both are friends with all of your friends. Some who are involved in live porn are not going to be good influences on him avoiding that very thing.
He's apologized so when he gets rid of the very thing causing his struggles, tell him you forgive him AND WILL NEVER bring it up. You will screw up too and would not like that screw up being held over your head constantly. If someone did that to me, I'd not want to be with them. That is far worse than his porn. Clearly there is nothing wrong with you, you are quite normal wanting respect, dignity and honor between you. Otherwise relationships based on perverted x rated material do not work. Those types of people hop from one unsuccessful relationship to the next never forming life long bonds with one person. They are programming their mind for that very thing so it's likely, that programming will take hold. Hopping from one bed to another accumulating STD's along the way is common. Stand tall, you are worth it.
Lol, are you for real? There is no correlation whatsoever between porn and STDs. Nor does viewing porn lead to inability to maintain a successful relationship.
My late husband was very into porn which, as a Christian, disgusted me. Our sex life took a nose dive after I found his porn. Thankfully it was the normal stuff, not child porn or fetishes. He would tell me he got rid of it when he just started hiding it better. I realize almost all men look at porn and masturbate but I don't want to know about it.
OP if you can't get over it I suggest a few things: See a counselor, a Christian one if that is your thing, forgive him and forget it or just live with it because even if you have sex with him every single day, he will probably still be addicted to porn. It hurts a woman's self esteem a lot when their man looks at porn and I think many of them don't realize that.
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