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A meeting of the minds and physical attraction. If either is missing, I have no interest.
I agree. For me, they're also interrelated. In my age group (65), no one has a perfect body, an unlined face or the hair color they had at age 18 unless they have a whole stable of personal trainers, plastic surgeons and stylists. Heck, if it weren't for my rock-star oral surgeon I'd have 4 missing teeth but instead I have implants (no, the dental kind). So, I want to find something warm and fuzzy and funny and smart in the guy across the table from me before my libido kicks in. I have no problem if the guys who meet me feel the same way. My hair is an honest grey and I wear glasses, but have a gym-rat body that I hope makes up for it, and can carry on an intelligent conversation.
Romantic chemistry is a connection for me. It means I vibe with them, talking to them is easy, we mesh well, I want to be around them, and I want them to be around me. When I think of them, I get a feeling of pleasantness and they add to my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by self-made
A meeting of the minds and physical attraction. If either is missing, I have no interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I don't. It's magic and I don't want to unpack that.
These first two quotes ring truest for me, with a nod to magic possibly explaining it best. But really, for me it can be defined by a deep connection and physical attraction that interact, with each enhancing the other. It's more than a mere combination of two things, or two people fore that matter.
For me it's familiarity. I feel I must know you from somewhere, I already know what you're going to say and it's just the right thing. Someone else is talking, and we give each other a "look" about them, knowing what the other is thinking. I have a lot of non-romantic chemistry with women as well, I'll wonder if maybe we went to grade school together or something, they use a phrase I do.
It's exciting and almost scary to meet a man who I have a lot of instant chemistry with, I'm waiting to find out what's wrong with him. If things are too familiar, if he's too much like me, then it starts to feel slightly feminine and the strong attraction will fade...sheesh I just ruined everything now, and no one was even there!
When she meets you at your house so the two of you can go the museum but you never even make it out of the bedroom. 4 hours later the museum is closed and both of you are starving and dehydrated.
Then it happens again two days later when your supposed to go the movies. And again a short time after that when you make plans to go to the Saturday morning farmers market.
It happens over and over again until bam!!!!!....the two of you are married a year later.
I see chemistry has having different varieties:
- one kind is intense sexual attraction
- one kind is easy conversation + shared values
- the best kind combines both
I've experienced all three, and the 3rd kind is leagues better. It felt a lot like what HTY described.
Sexual attraction has nothing to do with chemistry. I'm sexually attracted to Halle Berry, that doesn't man we would get a long.
Chemistry has to do with several things:
- A sharing of the same passion, hobbies, philosophies, religion, beliefs, goals, ideals etc.
- The ability to work out and solve problems or find solutions more than conflicts or fighting
- The ability to compromise and still be happy
- Putting the needs and happiness of your lover above your own
Sexual attraction has nothing to do with chemistry. I'm sexually attracted to Halle Berry, that doesn't man we would get a long.
Chemistry has to do with several things:
- A sharing of the same passion, hobbies, philosophies, religion, beliefs, goals, ideals etc.
- The ability to work out and solve problems or find solutions more than conflicts or fighting
- The ability to compromise and still be happy
- Putting the needs and happiness of your lover above your own
I never know if I'm sexually attracted to someone until I meet her. Before that, I'll think they're good looking, or not. Not the same thing at all, for me.
I've been sexually attracted to people who I didn't consider "good looking". Have you not?
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). So, I want to find something warm and fuzzy and funny and smart in the guy across the table from me before my libido kicks in. I have no problem if the guys who meet me feel the same way. My hair is an honest grey and I wear glasses, but have a gym-rat body that I hope makes up for it, and can carry on an intelligent conversation.
