Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can understand you don't want a reminder of him every time you see their initials on a towel hanging there
The part that bothers me is you said she said they're just towels and agreed to get rid of them but then wouldn't.
Seems if they're 'just towels' she would have had no problem having them gone.
Have you not moved before? Moving is stressful and expensive. If I have functioning towels, I’m not going to prioritize throwing them away and looking for new ones that I like, can afford and fit the decor of my new house while I’m in the middle of packing and unpacking.
Now if he was a kind man, he’d go out and buy towels, maybe with their initials, and give them to her as a housewarming starting a new life together gift.
Or he would have done what another had suggested when he saw them on the sink, and say, hey I thought you were going to get rid of these. What happened?
Maybe then she’d explain her logic, like she wanted to wait until she found ones she likes to replace them with . But as he is a control freak hot head that answer probably wouldn’t have appeased him.
Have you not moved before? Moving is stressful and expensive. If I have functioning towels, I’m not going to prioritize throwing them away and looking for new ones that I like, can afford and fit the decor of my new house while I’m in the middle of packing and unpacking.
Now if he was a kind man, he’d go out and buy towels, maybe with their initials, and give them to her as a housewarming starting a new life together gift.
Or he would have done what another had suggested when he saw them on the sink, and say, hey I thought you were going to get rid of these. What happened?
Maybe then she’d explain her logic, like she wanted to wait until she found ones she likes to replace them with . But as he is a control freak hot head that answer probably wouldn’t have appeased him.
He did.. "and wound up going out and buying three sets of towels for her to use." from the op
And they're not even married yet! I have the feeling that the OP railroaded his gf into ponying up her share to buy a place, as a way of locking her into the relationship prematurely. If they break up now, he would have to either buy out her investment, or sell the place, and split the proceeds with her. It's a much bigger hassle, than breaking up when you're renting together. So he may have gambled, that if they don't get along, she'd stay with him anyway, due to the hassle of selling a place. Maybe she loves the place, but is starting to have doubts about him, or simply isn't ready to fully commit.
It's a mess the OP has got himself into, if he thinks she's still attached emotionally to the abusive bf.
OP, is she hot? I'm trying to understand what possibly could have motivated you to push for buying a house, when you're not even engaged.I guess you wanted a house, but couldn't afford one? And didn't want to wait 'til marriage?
I won't harp on OP's communication issues as other posters have already addressed that.
I think OP feels insecure since the gf for some reason wants to keep the towels. Most women get rid of things that remind them of old relationships. However, she has to be ready to get rid of them and sometimes that can take a while, even when you are in a new and happier relationship. OP harassing the gf about it isn't going to make that process happen any faster. Rather than trying to force her to do something she apparently doesn't want to do (which is not a good communication approach any way), try making her happy where she is, with you, in your relationship. That will most likely lead her to decide to get rid of them herself, in her own time. Also, she probably did it for attention. Again, focus on making her happy and the nonsense games will probably stop, probably.
Most importantly, don't get caught up on silly fights that can easily turn into bigger problems. If you love her, let it go!
You know...it could be her sentimentality (if indeed, that's where the angst is) has nothing to do with the ex husband.
Maybe her parents gave her the towels as a wedding or shower gift, and they remind her of the loving gesture of the gift. Or maybe it reminds her of her actual shower...and the sweet gesture her girlfriends gave her of throwing a shower.
Making the GF get rid of her stuff...it's not going to whipe her memory clean. The only thing that can help erase the ex is the CURRENT guy being better than the ex. That's it.
I brag on my husband a lot. But it's because in the beginnings of our relationship...he just did so many things "right".
A couple of months before our wedding date, we picked out an apartment together, and shortly after, HE moved in. I packed up most of my stuff, and my son's furniture and clothing, and moved them into the apartment VERY shortly before the actual wedding. But I remember him telling me, when he moved in "Now remember...this is OUR home. You have a key. You don't have to knock, you come over whenever you want."
Hearing those words...it made me feel so many things. It made me feel like his partner already. It made me look forward to our future even more. It made me feel like I was part of the plan. And...it made me feel like my husband was preparing our nest...kind of. It helped me feel secure.
And THEN after being married a year, we started looking for a house to buy. We ended up buying in a neighborhood that he and one of his exe's used to live in together. (That house is actually just down the street from where we own. LOL)
But he told me "I know you know I used to live in this neighborhood with JoAnn. First of all, JoAnn doesn't live in the neighborhood anymore. I would never purposely put us in the same neighborhood as my ex. I would never do that to you." Cause yeah...I WAS kind of wondering if I was going to see her around, or if my husband was going to see her around town from time to time...but I hadn't voiced those concerns. He just 'got it' I guess.
I'm calling bull on this one. Nobody gets monogrammed towels anymore.
Actually, it's a 'thing' in the south. Plenty of people get monogrammed whatever.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
