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No, Caucasian. A friend of mine introduced me to this concept as we love to walk the trails in the woods a short ways away. You immerse yourself in the woods and forests to enjoy the solitude. Soon, you become aware of the microcosm of life that is a part of the ecology. Very freeing and soothing. I don’t know if Americans or the English language has a comparable phrase. My best.
That sound very therapeutic... yeah some concepts just don’t have comprarable phrase in English..
Pain does suck, but you learned something valuable. In the future, do a better job communicating. Forgive yourself; you are human and humans sometimes make mistakes. Enjoy your trip!
Thank you, it’s very kind of you to say those words to me. I really did beat myself up for not being a better communicator and mishandled the whole situation.. but I feel better now that I did reach out for communication and that’s an effort to try to correct my mistakes. It’s his choice not to communicate and I’ve done my best..
I'm glad you see it as a learning experience. It's a strong possibility that you ghosted him. And he's just acting accordingly. But these are the lumps we all have to take in becoming fully grown human beings. And it's more difficult for your generation, unfortunately. In my day, there were men who wanted relationships, and men who wanted one night stands. It was easy to tell - and to signal - the difference. There was none of this in between stuff. It's very difficult to navigate.
But you're young. I remember a friend of mine, when we were both in college, ended a budding relationship because the young man, after performing oral sex on her, reached for a glass of water that was on the bedside table. And she was SO HUMILIATED because obviously it meant the experience was unpleasant for him. I sympathized with her at the time, but in retrospect, I think: maybe he was just thirsty? Maybe we made a big deal over nothing?
The pain is difficult. But it is growing pains. It gets easier. I wish you luck.
Yes.. if I didn’t text him... I might torture myself with the thought that there might be misunderstanding... now I’ve reached out and I know for sure he just chose to ignore me.. so case closed..
I agree and I don't think you humiliated yourself.
"Incredibly traumatized" means basically NADA anymore. Plane crashes & child abuse are incredibly traumatizing- not a guy you chose to sleep with willingly.
"Closure". People need closure from a half hour "relationship" now.
Even after he didn't "call to check on me" let's text him multiple times even after he doesn't respond. Lol.
Lawd.
I had the exact same thoughts when I read the OP. I'm not so sure that the ol' pump and dump routine should shake someone to their core like that. I get that it sucks and you feel used, but we're not getting a stage 4 cancer diagnosis here people.
Did he really dump her though? Maybe saying it was fun felt like casual sex, thanks, see ya. But was he supposed to profess that is was a magical transforming experience and that he is deeply in love?
And then he followed up saying he had a rough day and was ignored. Maybe he felt blown off. No response to him saying it was fun = feeling hurt that she didn't respond at all, much less anything positive.
If he liked OP, he was probably like well, ok, this is rough. Ouch. Do I suck in bed? Does she just not like ME?
I read it like OP noticed a noticeable shift in his tone. Like he suddenly became distant but in a subtle way. Im assuming English is not her first language? So maybe it wasnt extremely clear but I got the impression she was hurt because he "changed" just after sex. And she was "traumatized" because she didnt expect that of him.
The day he texted and said he had a hard day...well doesnt that come across like hes trying to preemptively get out of texting? Maybe before they were chatting every night for hours. Hard day or not. I dont think it was pump and dump per se but I think OPs reaction to a shift in tone was natural. I dont think all the blame against OP is warranted here.
I think it started with him taking a pic of his medication to show that he was sick and caused her to question the seriousness of their "relationship"? And then went downhill from there, but nonetheless the OP did have a charming way of updating us of her emotional roller coaster with the guy.
Could be. Id like OP to explain more why "It was fun" had such a bad effect on her.
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