Married: Do you try to avoid men/women you are attracted to so you are fair to your spouse? (dating, wife)

[Brainy Intellectual Type]

As a married woman I would be lying if I said there were not men I run into that were very attractive. I find a couple guys I know to be very attractive physically, mentally, personally and spiritually. I am just attracted to them. But I am happily married.

What should I do about my desire to be with these men and spend time with them. When I see them and talk the chemistry is so strong and I feel good. I feel like we could talk for hours. I feel just like I did when I was single and dating and found someone I thought would be Mr. Right.

Nothing has happened so far and I do not expect it will, but I am tempted. You can tell the attraction is mutual.

What have you done when you find someone you are so attracted to? Do you try to avoid them?

[Stac2007]

If a person truly love their spouse they would never put themselves in a situation where by they are looking for a little tail on the side. Good spouses go home and kiss their partners after a long day at work.

[max's mama]

Yes, I avoid them like a plague. I just know myself too well. I'm "acting up on my emotions" type of person, so I avoid men I'm attracted to completely.

I think it's natural to find other men attractive, OP. I'm also a creative type, I look for mental stimulation and excitement. I avoid looking and getting into trouble and doing something I will regret, but I'd by lying if I said that I haven't thought about it.
Don't do it. We all want what we cannot have, once we get it, excitement is gone and we are left with shame, guilt and regret.

[bobman]

if you want a little flirt, or a little attention from these people, that's probably perfectly normal.

bear in mind tho, behave as you would expect your husband to behave around other women.
where you would expect him to stop, is where you should.

Originally Posted by Brainy Intellectual Type

As a married woman I would be lying if I said there were not men I run into that were very attractive. I find a couple guys I know to be very attractive physically, mentally, personally and spiritually. I am just attracted to them. But I am happily married.

What should I do about my desire to be with these men and spend time with them. When I see them and talk the chemistry is so strong and I feel good. I feel like we could talk for hours. I feel just like I did when I was single and dating and found someone I thought would be Mr. Right.

Nothing has happened so far and I do not expect it will, but I am tempted. You can tell the attraction is mutual.

What have you done when you find someone you are so attracted to? Do you try to avoid them?

[TKramar]

No. But I don't pursue them either.

There's this little thing called self-control. Some have it, some don't. Out of respect for my partner, I would never pursue any sort of relationship with someone I found attractive (um...other than her). My eyes aren't all that good anyhow, so it's more of a personality thing.

[GoCUBS1]

There have been a few instances where my spouse has seen me interacting with an attractive guy and afterwards he has said something like "You guys really seemed to hit it off..." This means that, for whatever reason, he is uncomfortable w/the interaction though he won't admit it outright (he is a pretty confident, non-controlling person). So, although I had no attraction to the other guy, I do tend to avoid future interaction out of respect for the spouse and his minor insecurities...

[Brainy Intellectual Type]

I think it is human nature to want to do pleasurable things. Life is hard and sometimes boring, so if I have a chance to interact with these very attractive men I just feel so stimulated and happy. I tell myself that I am going to cut the conversation short but it just does not happen, they are so nice and very interesting to talk to. It is like a drug, I want more. Actually they are not that easy to ignore because they belong to a few clubs I attend and sit next to me in class.

Do you really have such self control that you are able to avoid interacting with someone who would provide you so much pleasure in their company?

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by Brainy Intellectual Type

I think it is human nature to want to do pleasurable things. Life is hard and sometimes boring, so if I have a chance to interact with these very attractive men I just feel so stimulated and happy. I tell myself that I am going to cut the conversation short but it just does not happen, they are so nice and very interesting to talk to. It is like a drug, I want more. Actually they are not that easy to ignore because they belong to a few clubs I attend and sit next to me in class.

Do you really have such self control that you are able to avoid interacting with someone who would provide you so much pleasure in their company?

If you can stop at only talking, then I see no harm in enjoying the company of men you like.

[GoCUBS1]

Originally Posted by Brainy Intellectual Type

Do you really have such self control that you are able to avoid interacting with someone who would provide you so much pleasure in their company?

For me, the answer is yes.... I can find pleasurable company with people who do not make my spouse feel insecure (as I said, there have only been a few). I do have a lot of attractive male friends (e.g. neighbors, coworkers) and there is no problem for my hubby. But I'm not really that physically attracted to other men.... I get all I need at home.

[cpg35223]

I work in a business that's positively teeming with attractive, smart, and pretty hip women. It's an occupational hazard. So I have to walk the line between being well-liked by my clients, but still keeping things strictly professional. I had a thread last week on this very subject, and have had serious flirting, overtures, and outright passes thrown at me. To me, the best policy has always been to keep my wife in the loop. She thinks it's funny. She's secure that way.