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No, she seemingly doesn't want to learn, Birdie. A lot of hard-headed people exist in my family, and she's one of them. Her heartbreak is only going to grow worse. I hope she'll learn something from this experience and choose more wisely next time. The way things stand now, she's only wasting time.
Ruth, she'd break it off with him for a week or so and then go right back to him when he'd call on the next Friday, 7:00 p.m. on the dot. She was always afraid to tell him why she didn't see him during those times because she feared he'd call it off. She can't stay away from him because she's "in love," and no family member can make her that see his actions, as well as her own, aren't good for her. She'll have to learn her lesson the hard way. I take no pleasure in knowing that.
No, she seemingly doesn't want to learn, Birdie. A lot of hard-headed people exist in my family, and she's one of them. Her heartbreak is only going to grow worse. I hope she'll learn something from this experience and choose more wisely next time. The way things stand now, she's only wasting time.
Most concerning to me are these "don't ask, don't tell" relationships. Despite knowing she was in love with him and the feeling wasn't reciprocal, he continued on with the relationship. Despite knowing how she would be impacted by the relocation, he chose to withhold the information. To me this speaks to a lack of integrity.
I have worked for a company with hundreds of artists and they tend to be sensitive souls and vulnerable to these types.
Last edited by Maddie104; 01-20-2019 at 12:27 PM..
Ruth, she'd break it off with him for a week or so and then go right back to him when he'd call on the next Friday, 7:00 p.m. on the dot. She was always afraid to tell him why she didn't see him during those times because she feared he'd call it off. She can't stay away from him because she's "in love," and no family member can make her that see his actions, as well as her own, aren't good for her. She'll have to learn her lesson the hard way. I take no pleasure in knowing that.
This is typical of someone who is incapable of listening to logic when the hormones and emotions are running high. But this is her life, and therefore her choice. I would just opt out and tell anyone keeping up with this drama I don't want to hear anything else about it. The most annoying thing to me are people who rather just complain and suffer, yet do nothing about it. After a while, I lose sympathy. She'll learn one day, or maybe she won't. Not your problem, OP.
Not my problem, but she is my beloved grand-niece and I care about her. I hope she comes to her senses before the young man leaves but doubt that will happen. Hormones, emotions, and an artistic sensibility aren't a good combination for this particular scenario. Ruth, I'll post an update, though the young man doesn't leave for another seven or eight months. It would be wonderful if she breaks it off well before then. Time's a wastin'!
I talked to my niece (the mother of my grand-niece) this morning and she related something that's upsetting and, to me, a definite deal breaker. The young man has known since last September that he'll be going to another, more prestigious, university to finish his doctoral work and will be moving 2000 miles away next fall. Absolutely, this is great opportunity he should definitely pursue. What's upsetting is that he didn't tell my grand-niece. She found out from a mutual friend. His friends and family have known this news for four months, but my grand-niece evidently isn't worthy enough to tell.
I'm beginning to agree with the men who have posted here and stated my grand-niece is basically a once-a-week booty call for this guy. Men can usually understand other men's actions much more clearly and directly than women.
I hope this development causes my grand-niece to terminate her "relationship" with him. I'll offer consolation and support but won't encourage her to stay with him.
Ok, I revise my earlier reply with this new news. She needs to cut this off now. He cannot keep info liek that from her if she means that much to him. Decisions like this would not only affect him but her as well and he proved he does not value her input at all.
We are free to make decisions, but we are not free from the consequences of those decisions.
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