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It's not disingenuous to say I was initially undecided..or that I never thought about babies one way or the other.....& that now I have made a final decision.
E D I T: He did not make the decision for me......... ofc I am going to pick staying with an amazing man..... who has brought out & loves the girl I was before all the stuff with my ex.....over maybe having a baby in the future that I don't necessarily for sure want anyways.....
All stuff you've said before, not really the point I'm making.
But after you informed us that you had bought in and were fine with living with him and him alone, without children, you posted that, saying that you would like for the two of you to decide for sure in a few years.
... which proves that right now you are fine to say you go along with his decision, but you really don't think it's final and that you still want that door to be open.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
All stuff you've said before, not really the point I'm making.
But after you informed us that you had bought in and were fine with living with him and him alone, without children, you posted that, saying that you would like for the two of you to decide for sure in a few years.
... which proves that right now you are fine to say you go along with his decision, but you really don't think it's final and that you still want that door to be open.
Because if it was in a different relationship with a man my age, I probably wouldn't be making a final decision...at 31...I'd still be *undecided* & never would of talked about a baby or not BUT that doesn't mean I would have decided yes then either.........it is only my situation of being with an older man that brought it up now....
I dunno why you don't wanna accept it.....you are like my ex who always told me what I wanted or what I was *really thinking* & then he would fight with me about it...all on what he thought I thought! My Bf & I can have an a m a z i n g life together as a child free couple........we're happy......& lots of people make a final choice not to have babies.................
Because if it was in a different relationship with a man my age, I probably wouldn't be making a final decision...at 31...I'd still be *undecided* & never would of talked about a baby or not BUT that doesn't mean I would have decided yes then either.........it is only my situation of being with an older man that brought it up now....
I'm just going by what you have written. You are NOT actually making a final decision now.
Your BF has made HIS decision, and you're saying that you're fine with it, but deep down you apparently don't really believe it's FINAL final, because if you did there would be no reason for you to say you want the two of you to make your decision "for sure" in a few years.
Okay, everyone has made their point, everything forward would just be bickering.
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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I'm just going by what you have written. You are NOT actually making a final decision now.
Your BF has made HIS decision, and you're saying that you're fine with it, but deep down you apparently don't really believe it's FINAL final, because if you did there would be no reason for you to say you want the two of you to make your decision "for sure" in a few years.
I very thoughtfully made my decision to take the next step with my Bf in our future....that will be child free....so get over it.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by allison7
I don't think this to be true. I have chosen not to have kids. It has to do in this moment with not having found a partner, and I want to focus on my career. It is not because I feel it is the "right thing to do" for everyone or would I ever advocate it for someone else. Stay in your own lane is what I say.
My reasons are different...but I have made the same choice....some people don't accept it......& I don't know why women do that to each other...........
Thank you for this post........
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