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I've never been in a relationship, I'm 21, asian american male, situated in the south at the moment. Predominantly white area. I was pretty sheltered growing up so I didn't get to date in high school, I just started getting my hands dirty in the dating scene over 2 years ago. I haven't had any luck really.
There's not really a lot of asians in the area, and asian women really aren't my #1 preference(I'm more attracted to caucasian or hispanic women). Am I asking for too much? Are interracial relationships really not as common as I think?
I have tried to present myself better. I dress nice, nothing fancy, nothing crazy, just the casual look. I have good income, I have a house, 2 luxury cars(brought them because I'm a car person, not because I think they attract women), I'm not ugly but I'm no male model either, I'm not overweight, I'm not aiming for models either. Just average looking women. Everything checks the boxes in my eyes.
What am I doing wrong? Seems like I'll meet genuinely nice women, get to know them, build rapport, then they flake or turns out they only date within their race. Could it just be the area that I'm in? Would I have better luck in a big city like LA, Dallas, NYC?
Regarding your question and as it pertains to you, I would say that interracial relationships are quite common. Check these out:
As a lighter skinned BW, I've witnessed this on both sides. It's quite disheartening that I have run across so many men of my race that have the bolded mindset. And don't get me wrong, some of the sisters do too. But by and large BW aren't as loud as the men are when it comes to racial preference. I personally prefer men of my own race, but I have absolutely NOTHING against other races of men. I think it's natural to be attracted to those who look like you (not for everyone obviously, but for the most part.)
I have been fetishized by BM because to them me closely resembling a biracial/mixed woman was more acceptable. Some of them have been so bold as to negatively stereotype BW while talking to me as if I'm not one myself. And of course I've heard the "You're pretty for a black girl," comment a few times from other races. It speaks to a deeper problem people are too uncomfortable to talk about. To someone who has never dealt with this, the problem seems non existent. But believe me when I tell you it's definitely real and it hurts. I think it's great that more of these conversations are taking place in today's time.
Attention needs to be brought to it because often times it's unconscious. We don't even realize we're doing it. It definitely plays a HUGE part in how some people partner up. It's very important to acknowledge these negative biases because it can be incredibly easy to build a relationship off of lies we tell ourselves.
I'll admit it, the majority of guys in America are cringeworthy at best. They think and say the stupidest things. So, you shouldn't let it hurt you. (Of course, Black women are beautiful). Also, keep in mind that most people in America live in a bubble and aren't truly educated and worldly. IMHO
This was already mentioned earlier (by me).... unfortunately yes.
However, I had a lot better chances dating various different women of all sorts of backgrounds in a racially diverse area where most of my friends were located compared to a less diverse area where I was living at the time. So the issue with the OP (as others pointed out) is locale.
This was already mentioned earlier (by me).... unfortunately yes.
However, I had a lot better chances dating various different women of all sorts of backgrounds in a racially diverse area where most of my friends were located compared to a less diverse area where I was living at the time. So the issue with the OP (as others pointed out) is locale.
Unfortunately, Asian features appear feminine to Caucasians and Blacks, hence its a disadvantage for Asian men, but an advantage for Asian women.
I've never been in a relationship, I'm 21, asian american male, situated in the south at the moment. Predominantly white area. I was pretty sheltered growing up so I didn't get to date in high school, I just started getting my hands dirty in the dating scene over 2 years ago. I haven't had any luck really.
There's not really a lot of asians in the area, and asian women really aren't my #1 preference(I'm more attracted to caucasian or hispanic women). Am I asking for too much? Are interracial relationships really not as common as I think?
I have tried to present myself better. I dress nice, nothing fancy, nothing crazy, just the casual look. I have good income, I have a house, 2 luxury cars(brought them because I'm a car person, not because I think they attract women), I'm not ugly but I'm no male model either, I'm not overweight, I'm not aiming for models either. Just average looking women. Everything checks the boxes in my eyes.
What am I doing wrong? Seems like I'll meet genuinely nice women, get to know them, build rapport, then they flake or turns out they only date within their race. Could it just be the area that I'm in? Would I have better luck in a big city like LA, Dallas, NYC?
You sound a lot like me in college, except I'm middle eastern and I had a fixation on black girls. But for some reason I had the impression that black girls were harder to get and only dated outside of their race when the guy is exceptionally attractive. I think that was just in my head though.
My preference has changed since then. Now I seem to prefer asian, middle eastern and hispanic women. Unfortunately for me I live in a city which is 60ish% white and 30ish% black, with the asian, middle eastern and hispanic populations being relatively small.
Damn, you are a nice person, it sounds like.... (not)
Way to go with that comment
Don't know what it has anything to do with being nice or not. Considering the CONTEXT and the qualifier, I stand by the statement. -And, unless you are a minority, you wouldn't know how pervasive that line is. (You're good looking for a ….)
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