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He says he loves me and he's deeply committed to me and that we do have sex.
He went to a doctor yesterday (just a normal check-up) and apparently told her that his partner is complaining about his low sex drive, he told he feels pressured and that he just has a low sex drive. She suggested that he talk to a sex therapist. He did not mention porn usage ...
He says he wants us both to see one, he says I have unrealistic expectations about male arousal, that not being able to get/maintain an erection quite regularly is very normal for a 31-year-old man, and that we could probably benefit from having a professional mediate this discussion for me.
He says he wants us both to see one, he says I have unrealistic expectations about male arousal, that not being able to get/maintain an erection quite regularly is very normal for a 31-year-old man...
False.
He is putting the problem on you. He would like to believe that this is very common.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack
and that we could probably benefit from having a professional mediate this discussion for me.
You could spend all that money to sit and watch him try to gaslight you, or you could trust your damn gut and leave his twisted ***.
He says he wants us both to see one, he says I have unrealistic expectations about male arousal, that not being able to get/maintain an erection quite regularly is very normal for a 31-year-old man, and that we could probably benefit from having a professional mediate this discussion for me.
And do you believe this ridiculousness?
OP, you can do so much better than this. You deserve so much better than this! But if you do end up going to a sex therapist with him, be sure to mention to the doctor, that he watches porn regularly to get "relief" from stress, but tells you he can't get it up when he's stressed.
Remember; the sooner you leave this nonsense behind you in the dust, the sooner you can start looking for a guy who can't get enough of you: a normal, healthy, fully-functional, 30-soemthing guy.
((( hugs ))) OP! Be strong!
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-17-2019 at 08:58 AM..
It's not usual at all for a 31 year old to have trouble getting aroused (and choose to watch porn instead of make love to his girlfriend.) He's got problems he's trying to put on you and I think seeing a therapist will be an exercise in futility because he's not taking responsibility.
... he says I have unrealistic expectations about male arousal, that not being able to get/maintain an erection quite regularly is very normal for a 31-year-old man, and that we could probably benefit from having a professional mediate this discussion for me.
Pardon me.
He is lying.
I had a strong libido at 50 and I was easily able to perform. I am now 60, my ability was removed from me due to prostate cancer surgery
[the surgeon removed some of my nerves]. If I had not had cancer, I would still be able to perform today. I still have a libido.
If he can not get it up, he is either in poor cardiovascular health and/or he has low Testosterone.
There is a chance that heavy porn usage is draining his libido. But even then he should be able to get it up during his porn watching.
He talks about 'stress relief' yet he does not see you as his stress relief, that is messed up.
I had a strong libido at 50 and I was easily able to perform. I am now 60, my ability was removed from me due to prostate cancer surgery
[the surgeon removed some of my nerves]. If I had not had cancer, I would still be able to perform today. I still have a libido.
If he can not get it up, he is either in poor cardiovascular health and/or he has low Testosterone.
There is a chance that heavy porn usage is draining his libido. But even then he should be able to get it up during his porn watching.
He talks about 'stress relief' yet he does not see you as his stress relief, that is messed up.
He probably does (to the bolded), but the OP never knows about it, or gets the benefit of it.
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