Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm starting to truly hate my husband's hobby. He is an Irish dancer. The backstory is that I myself started Irish dancing in my 20s while I was single and I was really committed and determined to do my best. I practiced four hours a week in the classroom and whenever and wherever I found a spare minute. I went to workshops for the whole weekend four times a year and to competitions once or twice a year. But after doing it for 5 years I noticed that all my life had gradually started to evolve around Irish dancing. It wasn’t like a hobby anymore it was a professional sport in which I put almost all my money and time. I still loved the dancing part but I was annoyed by the commitment aspect. Around that time I met my now husband. He was two years younger than me in terms of dancing experience. We dated for a year and got married. I got pregnant a while ago and quit Irish dancing, and currently in no mood to return. I now have more time to pursue my other interests, like learning languages, tutoring, reading, doing housework and spending time with my husband whenever he is home. But he stayed and I’ve been watching how dancing’s been conquering his life turning from a hobby into a professional sport. The thing that makes it worse is that it's harder for him to achieve something in the field than it was for me. He needs more time to practice the same elements or to get the rhythm right and even then he still struggles from time to time. So, he has this idea that however much time he spends participating in dancing activities it's never enough, especially since his life's got busier with full-time job and family.
He now practises Tuesday and Thursday for 1,5 hours after work, so these days he comes home at 21:00 (when he doesn't give a lift to his sister, who's also an Irish dancer; then he comes about half an hour later). On Saturday he has a 2,5-hour-practice. They occasionally have show performances and in this case they add another 2,5 hours on Saturday or Sunday to prepare.
He goes to 2-3 feiseanna (Irish dance competitions) most of which are in other cities, so they take a whole weekend, 2 whole-weekend workshops and 2 workshops which take about 6 days (one during winter holidays and one in summer) a year.
I asked him to at least consider cutting back on the winter holiday workshop to spend holidays with me but he said that in this case there wouldn't be a point in dancing at all cause he wouldn't have enough practice to get anywhere. Now, with the baby due in January (the very time of his workshop) I raised the question again and he said that we'll see them, but for now he's willing to go. I just don't understand how it can be that important. I'm trying to be supportive of his hobby, I understand that everybody needs some me-time, but I feel like it is at the expense of our family, it’s really difficult for me to approve of such a commitment to a time-consuming hobby in a family man, it makes me seriously doubt whether his priorities are in place. Maybe I'm just being irrational? What do you guys think?
sounds like you knew what you were getting yourself into. someone obsessing over bad irish prancing isn't much different than obsessive gamers or avid television gazers. up to you to have serious talk time with him, complaining here doesnt do much. and no you're not irrational.
sounds like you knew what you were getting yourself into. someone obsessing over bad irish prancing isn't much different than obsessive gamers or avid television gazers. up to you to have serious talk time with him, complaining here doesnt do much. and no you're not irrational.
I actually didn't because he wasn't that committed to dancing when we were dating. He even wanted to quit at some point due to lack of achievement and I talked him out of it. I sort of regret that now.
I wonder if he spends so much time on his hobby because he isn't happy at home? Was the pregnancy planned? Perhaps he feels trapped way too early in the family, pregnancy and baby stuff?
Riverdancing is so 1990s. Is that what we're talking about here, Michael Flatley and his entourage stomping across the stage?
Why are you belittling someone's hobby/passion?
What's for you a "stomping across the stage" is for other a beautiful art of dancing...
Riverdance is one of the most successful dance productions in the world.
I wonder if he spends so much time on his hobby because he isn't happy at home? Was the pregnancy planned? Perhaps he feels trapped way too early in the family, pregnancy and baby stuff?
Well, I hope not. Yes, the pregnancy was discussed, planned and wanted by us both. If I understand him correctly he believes that spending less time would undermine his achievements and make the whole thing pointless.
Why are you belittling someone's hobby/passion?
What's for you a "stomping across the stage" is for other a beautiful art of dancing...
Riverdance is one of the most successful dance productions in the world.
As a dancer myself I would disagree with you. I mean, it depends. I personally don't like Riverdance and all the like shows. For me Irish dancing is not about "a beautiful art of dancing" it's more about technique, rhythm, timing, more like a sport than art. But I understand it's different for everyone. Anyway, that's not the point of this discussion
Hobbies are great but they can get out of hand. Like the poster said about gamers.
At least he has a job. Lol.
Maybe this baby will change everything about what matters most.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
