Husband doesn't help around house and spends most of time on hobby (wife, how to)
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My husband and I having been speaking to each other for almost 3 months now. In addition, he hasn't been sleeping in our bed for 2 months. We only speak when necessary or if it has something to do with our son. I approached him calmly 2 months ago about his distance and we ended up in a big argument. One of the things he brought up that bothered him was the fact one evening two years ago he came home and asked me to take out dinner for him. The food is cooked and on the stove mind you. At the time he came home, I had just finished cooking, helping our son with his homework and then was giving our son a bath. I was resentful and didn't complain but I took the food out for him anyway. Please note that I work full time. After I was done with our son, I went to him and told him that he can't expect me to take food out for him all the time. That's all I said. He blew up at me and started yelling and screaming about how his mother and father were when he was growing up.
He doesn't do anything around the house - no cleaning and cooking. Sometimes he may wash a load of clothes if there are items he want to wear. In order for the garbage to go outside, if I don't bag it up or put it by the door, he doesn't take it out. He is a loving father and can be very nice. He would give the shirt off his back for his friends. He also neglects the house and puts more time and energy into deejaying than paying attention to repairs around the house. I have suggested counseling but he refuses. Can this be resolved?
Does he know how much his behavior is hurting you and your relationship? Make it clear to him just how you feel. If he isn't willing to make an effort to change, leave him.
It won't be resolved if he is not willing to be part of the process.
It's a worn out cushion, IMO, to hear how great he is with his friends, would give the shirt off his back and a great dad, all while he refuses to work on what is wrong with your relationship, in your home where your son also lives and is exposed to this tension. If he doesn't want to work on it and expects you to live under those conditions, it's time to call it a day.
Sounds like he expects you to be an old-fashioned housewife who also works full time to pay for the life you have together...bunk. I would leave a man like this if he was unwilling to split all the responsibilities fairly, especially if he is treating his friends better than you when you are busting your a** to do everything! No, thank you! My parents both worked full-time and split the domestics 50/50...and loved the heck out of each other til the day he crossed over. It is called respect, and without it, love is only a falsified version of what it could be. When you really love someone, you WANT to help them finish up whatever tedious obligations they have pending so you can spend time together and enjoy each other...not add to the stress and run off to play DJ with your friends. He is sending a crappy message to your son as well about how to treat women. Sorry you are going through this...I hope you leave him and show your son just how strong, capable, and deserving of respect a woman can be!!!
You sound like a very fair and descent person, and if what you wrote is true he is in the wrong. You need to call him out and tell him that is not fair. You work so you cannot be the house wife all the time. He needs to step up to the plate and help out more...
Blew up over something that small and it has escalated to that? Does your intuition tell you he's cheating by any chance? I hate to mention it if he's not but that sounds pretty classic.
My husband and I having been speaking to each other for almost 3 months now. In addition, he hasn't been sleeping in our bed for 2 months. We only speak when necessary or if it has something to do with our son. I approached him calmly 2 months ago about his distance and we ended up in a big argument. One of the things he brought up that bothered him was the fact one evening two years ago he came home and asked me to take out dinner for him. The food is cooked and on the stove mind you. At the time he came home, I had just finished cooking, helping our son with his homework and then was giving our son a bath. I was resentful and didn't complain but I took the food out for him anyway. Please note that I work full time. After I was done with our son, I went to him and told him that he can't expect me to take food out for him all the time. That's all I said. He blew up at me and started yelling and screaming about how his mother and father were when he was growing up.
He doesn't do anything around the house - no cleaning and cooking. Sometimes he may wash a load of clothes if there are items he want to wear. In order for the garbage to go outside, if I don't bag it up or put it by the door, he doesn't take it out. He is a loving father and can be very nice. He would give the shirt off his back for his friends. He also neglects the house and puts more time and energy into deejaying than paying attention to repairs around the house. I have suggested counseling but he refuses. Can this be resolved?
Are you a stay at home mom? Or do you have a job? And was his mother a stay at home mom type?
Also, do his parents like you? Maybe they (or at least his mom) can talk some sense into him and explain how their generation was different and that the times back them were different.
BTW, what's your husband's hobby? And is his job so stressful that he needs to unwind after work by doing his hobby?
Are you a stay at home mom? Or do you have a job? And was his mother a stay at home mom type?
Also, do his parents like you? Maybe they (or at least his mom) can talk some sense into him and explain how their generation was different and that the times back them were different.
BTW, what's your husband's hobby? And is his job so stressful that he needs to unwind after work by doing his hobby?
She said she works full time.
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