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Along with getting a lawyer, I hope you will find a therapist. When you are in it, it is so hard to see a way out.
One other thing. And this may not apply to you. I resisted telling my friends and family what was going on in my marriage for years. I am not sure exactly what I feared. That they would think I was crazy perhaps. But they didn't. They helped me to see what was scary and destructive. The helped me remember the strong, capable me that I had forgotten. We hide from people when we feel we are doing something wrong. Or at I guess, at least, I did. If you have family you trust, tell them. So they can support you.
So I don't really have any people I can confide in or discuss how I'm feeling. For one I don't want the people around me to know what's going on my life. So this seemed like a good place to talk it out.
Back story: my husband and I have been together for 20 years. He's had drug problems our whole relationship. He kicked the "hardstuff" over 10 years ago, but still drinks a lot every day. He also has a medical marijuana card. So basically he's high and buzzed pretty much every waking hour. He hasn't worked in 10+ years so I support him. I truly feel that if it weren't for his dependencies on weed and alcohol he'd be employed. Plus the fact that he has no motivation to get a job and spends my money like he earned it.
He always makes big plans for the things he wants to do and I'm supposed to foot the bill. When I tell him we can't afford it, he borrows money from his 73 year old father and puts me in the position to pay him back. He drinks my money away. I make decent money but because of him we don't make it to the next paycheck before running out of money. Then he again borrows money so that he can continue to drink.
And before you say "Why haven't you left him already?" Because he knows I will have to evict him. That he has rights and i can't just kick him out of my home. He gets mail here, and a couple bills are in his name. He won't just leave and it's my home so I can't leave.
The reason I came on here today is because last night without asking me, calls his "buddy" and arranges to buy acid. I get mad at him and tell him no, it's my money and I'm tired of supporting his drug habits. I took his bank cards and hid the keys to my car. He has told me I'm crazy, I'm acting like my mother, I'm wrong because he hasn't come across acid in a long time.
Let me also mention he does almost nothing in the home. Sometimes he cooks, once every 2 weeks maybe. Never cleans... but loves to dictate about how to clean, where things go and complains about how I do/did something. It's to the point I do nothing because I don't want to get a lecture about how it should be done.
I'm so incredibly frustrated and depressed because my life amounts to working (I work from home), and watching TV. But even my watching TV pisses him off because he wants to blast the stereo.
I'll end my venting for now.... I just needed to put words out somewhere, some place I could anonymously post my frustration. Thanks for reading.
Geez, you sound SO MUCH like my SIL. First thing I would do is open up a new checking account, and don't give him the new account information. Reclaim some of that money back. If he gets violent about it, Get a restraining order and kick him out. Boom.
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