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So this guy I am sort of seeing, is very inconsistent when it comes to communicating. In the beginning it was fine, but for the past month it's been inconsistent and I can't help but feel like it's intentional now. He travels a lot of for work and works 60+ hours so for the first couple of weeks of this behavior I thought maybe he was just really busy. But it has continued in the following weeks, so now it just feels intentional.
What will happen is we will start texting, and he will mention something like "So I am a starting to look at new places to move to in the city," and then I will text back "Oh cool where are you looking?" Then I never get a response.
Two days ago he sent me a text message of some shoes he's thinking of buying, I texted him back told him I liked them and then texted "Where are your buying them from?" He ignored that question and never responded.
He came over yesterday and things seemed normal and we were fine, but now it feels like I am being breadcrumbed by him. Is it for validation? Maybe he feels empowered by ignoring my texts and in control? These past few weeks, when he does that I just carry on with my life, and then he reaches out again. So please note that when he ignores a question I ask him or text, I don't reach out again and do my own thing. He then will reach out days later, still ignoring the question and bringing up something else. The weird thing is when he does respond he is very quick to respond. Usually right away or within a few hours.
Also I don't feel this is a case of us texting too much as we probably text every few days since I know he is so busy.
It feels like games are being played here. I also feel like I am being taken for granted. In the past month he has also been a little more cold and distant with me. I am kind of over it. I went on a solo trip out of the country to do some exploring of my own, and since that trip he has been acting like this. Am I overreacting? Is it worth confronting him over this?
Honestly, we are in our 30s. I don't have time for this and not interested in playing these games. You know what's funny too? We aren't exclusive, but that is more due to him. I recently met another guy and we hit it off. He asked me out on a date for this Wednesday so it will be our first date. What's nice is that communication with him is going super well and he is super respectful and not playing games. It's funny how you to start to realize how one person is treating you badly when another person is treating you so well. It puts things in perspectives.
Last edited by frimpter928; 11-18-2019 at 12:24 PM..
So this guy I am sort of seeing, is very inconsistent when it comes to communicating. In the beginning it was fine, but for the past month it's been inconsistent and I can't help but feel like it's intentional now. He travels a lot of for work and works 60+ hours so for the first couple of weeks of this behavior I thought maybe he was just really busy. But it has continued in the following weeks, so now it just feels intentional.
What will happen is we will start texting, and he will mention something like "So I am a starting to look at new places to move to in the city," and then I will text back "Oh cool where are you looking?" Then I never get a response.
Two days ago he sent me a text message of some shoes he's thinking of buying, I texted him back told him I liked them and then texted "Where are your buying them from?" He ignored that question and never responded.
He came over yesterday and things seemed normal and we were fine, but now it feels like I am being breadcrumbed by him. Is it for validation? Maybe he feels empowered by ignoring my texts and in control? These past few weeks, when he does that I just carry on with my life, and then he reaches out again. So please note that when he ignores a question I ask him or text, I don't reach out again and do my own thing. He then will reach out days later, still ignoring the question and bringing up something else. The weird thing is when he does respond he is very quick to respond. Usually right away or within a few hours.
Also I don't feel this is a case of us texting too much as we probably text every few days since I know he is so busy.
It feels like games are being played here. I also feel like I am being taken for granted. In the past month he has also been a little more cold and distant with me. I am kind of over it. I went on a solo trip out of the country to do some exploring of my own, and since that trip he has been acting like this. Am I overreacting? Is it worth confronting him over this?
Honestly, we are in our 30s. I don't have time for this and not interested in playing these games. You know what's funny too? We aren't exclusive, but that is more due to him. I recently met another guy and we hit it off. He asked me out on a date for this Wednesday so it will be our first date. What's nice is that communication with him is going super well and he is super respectful and not playing games. It's funny how you to start to realize how one person is treating you badly when another person is treating you so well. It puts things in perspectives.
I think its a game. If he were interested in carrying on a conversation, he would text, then reply to your reply, and have a conversation.
I have known guys who do this as well, and thanks to facebook, I saw he had other girls posting on his wall "Why do you text me then disappear when I reply?"
He was doing the same to me, so pretty much confirmed the game playing, for me.
I moved on. The guy was 41 but acting like he was 16. No time for that.
Bring it up if he's worth it to you to try to work things out, but it doesn't sound like thats the case.
Just take three questions rule=) Every third time when somebody doesn't reply to your question - move on. You can ask something once, twice, but no more. There are so many courses why he or she doesn't reply, but finally, only one is suffering and wasting time - you.
Just take three questions rule=) Every third time when somebody doesn't reply to your question - move on. You can ask something once, twice, but no more. There are so many courses why he or she doesn't reply, but finally, only one is suffering and wasting time - you.
YES!! Good advice!! I also always follow the 3-questions rule!
I also do this not only in dating, but also in friendships.
If someone doesn't reply you three times, it is OVER.
Do not run after a guy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonwalkr
Just remember that nice guys finish last.
Wrong! Nice guys never finish haha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928
He travels a lot of for work and works 60+ hours so for the first couple of weeks of this behavior I thought maybe he was just really busy. But it has continued in the following weeks, so now it just feels intentional.
People do not change over time.
If a guy is sooooooooo super busy, he shouldn't be on a dating platform in first place.
My advice:
People use "I'm busy" often as an excuse. Yes, they might be busy but most often they just use it as an excuse.
They could give you the priority - but they don't.
Honestly, we are in our 30s. I don't have time for this and not interested in playing these games. You know what's funny too? We aren't exclusive, but that is more due to him. I recently met another guy and we hit it off. He asked me out on a date for this Wednesday so it will be our first date. What's nice is that communication with him is going super well and he is super respectful and not playing games. It's funny how you to start to realize how one person is treating you badly when another person is treating you so well. It puts things in perspectives.
So, what is the subject of discussion here?
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