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My daughter is 14. She does not want him there but he tells me she is not old enough to make that decision.
Do you realize what a damaging statement this is for a teenage girl?
He basically said that her viewpoint doesn't matter, that she has NO say in what goes on in her own home. And apparently you are cosigning that by allowing him to stay.
Parents HAVE to realize that their relationships are NOT just between the two of them, and you both are teaching this girl, through your own actions, how she should behave when SHE has a boyfriend.
Do you realize what a damaging statement this is for a teenage girl?
He basically said that her viewpoint doesn't matter, that she has NO say in what goes on in her own home. And apparently you are cosigning that by allowing him to stay.
Parents HAVE to realize that their relationships are NOT just between the two of them, and you both are teaching this girl, through your own actions, how she should behave when SHE has a boyfriend.
Wake up, Mom.
This.
That poor kid. No one is protecting her.
File for separation. You'll fill out a financial form...he'll love the results of doing nothing for years.
My daughter is 14. She does not want him there but he tells me she is not old enough to make that decision. I have been at my sister's for one night a I have never seen my daughter smile and laugh so much
WTH. How can you write this and consider taking him back? If your daughter, your poor, powerless daughter who trusts and depends on you means anything to you, get him out of the house. NOW.
I am trying but by law I can not make him leave. I'm hoping living with my sister with my daughter will make him move back to his mom's.
I don't know you or your situation outside of the details that you have shared here, but it has crossed my mind that perhaps your husband didn't so much choose to come back to your home to be with her daughter as his mother was fed up with her son's nonsense and forced him to leave *her* home.
It's hard to imagine that she'd want a deadbeat sitting day after day at her kitchen table drinking his life away any more than you or your daughter have done for years.
Well, he is right about that. The choice is between you and him, the daughter can decide who to live with when she's 18.
Seems like you're both are a little indecisive. But if I were you, I wouldn't want to live with an alcoholic and ask him to leave on that basis.
Err. No.
Judges restrict it to supervised visitation all the time when there are drug, alcohol, criminal, or abuse issues. If a 14 year old girl says she doesn’t want to see the guy and it’s that kind of history, the judge can restrict access.
I am trying but by law I can not make him leave. I'm hoping living with my sister with my daughter will make him move back to his mom's.
Are you sure? If you have an attorney I would check with him/her on the concept of filing for a legal separation with exclusive use of the marital home. And I would definitely NOT move out of the home if at all possible as that might be construed as abandonment, which could be very detrimental to your rights.
He does not fall down drunk or abusive. He is pretty much neglectful. Does not have much to do with me and my daughter. Does not try to make the marriage work. It upsets my daughter to seehimbe neglectful towards me an her. He doesn't even go to dinner or breakfast anymore. Like my daughter said. There physically but not emotional. He refuses to go on antidepressants.
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