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Old 12-09-2019, 09:58 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,029,628 times
Reputation: 30753

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
I had a long dream last night about my first love, and now I have been depressed all day. Oh, his smile in the dream was so real, and it brought me back to the distant past, when we first fell in love.

Why am I so down? Is it because the first love hits us the hardest? Why can’t I forget about him after so many years?

We broke up entirely because of my stupidity. It was my fault. Now, I have a loving marriage with two beautiful children, but why do I still wonder what my life would be if we were still together? Why do I feel I am missing something in my life? Is it because I have never had the chance to make amends with him?

I spent the whole morning trying to find any information about him, but I found none. Just typing his name makes me sad and makes me regret.

Sorry for the rant. Just feel sad and can’t sleep. Rationally, I know it is wrong but ...

DO you though? Or is this just the result of your dream?


I would submit that you are missing your youth, in general, and of course your first love was an important part of your youth, and thus the manifestation of you missing your youth. Maybe you DO feel like you're missing something in life...but are you REALLY missing this guy all THAT much? Or again...just missing your youthful past? Your freedom maybe, or being unencumbered.
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Old 12-09-2019, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Rural NW Nevada
431 posts, read 352,400 times
Reputation: 1418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
DO you though? Or is this just the result of your dream?


I would submit that you are missing your youth, in general, and of course your first love was an important part of your youth, and thus the manifestation of you missing your youth. Maybe you DO feel like you're missing something in life...but are you REALLY missing this guy all THAT much? Or again...just missing your youthful past? Your freedom maybe, or being unencumbered.

This was my thinking too. The nostalgia of years gone by and what might have been. As we get older I think we all reminisce about our youth. Nothing wrong with that but you have to look at what you have now and realize that your past is just that, your past.


Your post does make me think of this though, my favorite Trisha Yearwood song:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9uFWZqME7A
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Old 12-09-2019, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Suburb of Chicago
31,848 posts, read 17,615,406 times
Reputation: 29385
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
I had a long dream last night about my first love, and now I have been depressed all day. Oh, his smile in the dream was so real, and it brought me back to the distant past, when we first fell in love.

Why am I so down? Is it because the first love hits us the hardest? Why can’t I forget about him after so many years?

We broke up entirely because of my stupidity. It was my fault. Now, I have a loving marriage with two beautiful children, but why do I still wonder what my life would be if we were still together? Why do I feel I am missing something in my life? Is it because I have never had the chance to make amends with him?

I spent the whole morning trying to find any information about him, but I found none. Just typing his name makes me sad and makes me regret.

Sorry for the rant. Just feel sad and can’t sleep. Rationally, I know it is wrong but ...
Are you referencing thinking about him since the dream or has he remained on your mind all these years?

If it's the former I think you miss the spark that comes with love, which naturally dies down after many years of marriage.

If it's the latter - it could be you feel he was the one who got away and you have some guilt and regret about being the catalyst for that. It doesn't mean your marriage is lacking, in my opinion. However, if you had found some presence of him online, then what? Probably best to not do that. You wouldn't want your husband doing that, I assume.

Just curious. Could he have passed away since you said you couldn't locate him?
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