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It started off with me having my husband move out because he needed to make some changes. In the meantime I found out he was depressed so I told him to move back in and we could support him and work ilin the marriage. He then decided he was going to move back in but still be seperated. I did not think that was a good idea because I at this point wanted to work it out. so we basically live in the same house as roommates. Even his councellor told him it was not a good idea. My 15 Yer old daughter is very uncomfortable in this situation. She is not eating well and not sleeping and said she does not even want to be in her house anymore. Everyone told my husband if he wants to be seperated he should move back with his mother until he can figure it out. He keeps telling his daughter he is trying to work it out with me but she can tell he is not. He even told her the other day he will not move out and she can go live with her aunt!! He is very selfish. He does not want to live at his mother's he would rather live here and make me and my daughter misserable. My daughter's depression is getting worse by the day. I don't know what to do!!
Go file for divorce and present him with a separation agreement that states he lives elsewhere. If he disputes, he can get a lawyer and you can get a court order kicking him out.
You realize your mistake was letting him move back in, right? Time to play hard ball now -- no more being a softie or a pushover.
IHS (In-house separation) is definitely one of the lowest levels of hell. You can either go for the full court press and file for divorce and file for exclusive use of the house, or you can do the following. Start with a full grey rock, 180 degree separation of your own. That means that you live in your home as if he is no longer there. You don't cook for him; you don't do his laundry; you don't converse with him unless it only concerns your daughter, etc. You certainly don't have sex with him! There are no "family" activities going on because you are not living and interacting as a family. Personally I would just go the legal route as it's all cut and dried that way, but whatever works best for you to get the deed done. You need to protect your daughter's emotional health in any scenario.
It started off with me having my husband move out because he needed to make some changes. In the meantime I found out he was depressed so I told him to move back in and we could support him and work ilin the marriage. He then decided he was going to move back in but still be seperated. I did not think that was a good idea because I at this point wanted to work it out. so we basically live in the same house as roommates. Even his councellor told him it was not a good idea. My 15 Yer old daughter is very uncomfortable in this situation. She is not eating well and not sleeping and said she does not even want to be in her house anymore. Everyone told my husband if he wants to be seperated he should move back with his mother until he can figure it out. He keeps telling his daughter he is trying to work it out with me but she can tell he is not. He even told her the other day he will not move out and she can go live with her aunt!! He is very selfish. He does not want to live at his mother's he would rather live here and make me and my daughter misserable. My daughter's depression is getting worse by the day. I don't know what to do!!
Bottom line: You put your daughter first and foremost. And you do whatever it takes to do it.
It doesn't seem that either side really interested in working things out.... also seems that there are problems between his relationship with his/your daughter especially when he is threatening to make her move out (to live with aunt).
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 3 days ago)
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You can't just order a man out of his own home. Cordell and Cordell, a law firm that represents men in divorce cases, advertises on the radio, that "men, don't leave your home just because your wife shows you the door".
She has no more right to kick him out, than he has a right to kick her out, at this point.
You can't just order a man out of his own home. Cordell and Cordell, a law firm that represents men in divorce cases, advertises on the radio, that "men, don't leave your home just because your wife shows you the door".
She has no more right to kick him out, than he has a right to kick her out, at this point.
Nope, which is why I suggested that she actually get a lawyer and a separation agreement. Most courts will allow the child and custodial parent to remain in the family home, so as not to upset the child's stable living arrangements. Seems like that would be the expected outcome in this case.
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