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Thank you. Haven’t covered it up with her or my family but I don’t feel my friends need to know. None of their business. Yes haven’t done anything nice and I do regret it. Hoping to start afresh from now and become a better person for my future relationships.
Thank you. Haven’t covered it up with her or my family but I don’t feel my friends need to know. None of their business. Yes haven’t done anything nice and I do regret it. Hoping to start afresh from now and become a better person for my future relationships.
So you are still living a lie with your "friends" and hoping for the best. If you tell your "friends" you are gay or bi, you will find out who your real friends, gay or straight, are.
I am comfortable with my sexuality that is straight, no lie about that.
Of course it's a lie or you would have cheated on her with women rather than with men. Some people may have had gay experiences but their preference is being straight. Your preference is to have sex with men. Thinking it's just a left over habit from your younger days is delusional.
Cancelling the VISA is fine. If she is your ex, you shouldn't have any finances in common except what may be ordered by the court. Make a clean break.
It's not that kind of visa. It's her permission to be in the country. That's why on top of cheating, lying to all and sundry, concealing his orientation, etc. having her spouse visa revoked is a particularly crappy thing to do.
It's not that kind of visa. It's her permission to be in the country. That's why on top of cheating, lying to all and sundry, concealing his orientation, etc. having her spouse visa revoked is a particularly crappy thing to do.
I hope she has a good immigration attorney.
Hopefully. One would really question his motives in this circumstance and whether the marriage was ever legitimate (from his end, at least).
Need guidance on a sensitive issue. Recently got divorced from my wife due to incompatibility issues and I was pushed to take a decision for both of us. Unfortunately I cheated on her with guys during the marriage (habitual issue stemming from my childhood on which I am workiong on with my therapist) - I came clean to her after she found my journal on which I spoke about me being potentially "gay" "bi" "confused" or "straight." They read my journal, took screenshots of it as well as my whatsapp conversaitons with random guys (very old before the marriage) and now has shared all this "evidence" with my and her family and some of my friends.
Disturbing and frustrating that she would share something personal like this with others and absolve herself of all responsibilty in the marriage. Despite all this I haven't bad-mouthed her or spread anything against her. One of my best friends and his wife distanced themselves from me after she told them about me and he finally confronted me today after both of us felt awkward regarding our friendship. He asked me if I cheated on her during the marriage and I denied it. I said why do you think I would've cheated and he said the texts and how she was saying everything implied this, and I really don't know whether she showed other evidence suggesting this. He did say he realised that whatever she said seemed one-sided which usually isn't hte case and what her shortcomings were. I refused to say anything about her reminding me that this isn't part of my values.
There's more to the above however I've been feeling slightly guilty for denying the cheating. Though I do think it's no one's business if I did/didn't? Also accepting it will mean the end of our friendship according to him. I've tried talking to my intution without any luck. What would the views be on this forum?
In the end he did apologise for distancing himself knowing it was a hard time for me and I must have felt alone. I thanked him for bringing it up and felt good when he said "I missed our friendship." I suggested he speak to his wife as I don't want to continuously defend myself and it's up to her if she wants to remain friends with me or not. Hurt that she would do such a thing and really scares me to be "honest" with my future partner. Yes I shouldn't have cheated and did apologise to her for it though she decided to stay after that which is her decision. It's amazing how she and her family are using this against me. Recently I sent her a text apologising and wishing her good luck for the future. I've been trying to do the right thing since the divorce though she has been pushing my buttons which led me to cancelling her spouse visa.
Thank you for reading/listening.
You lied to your wife, now ex-wife.
You lied to your "best friend."
It appears you only tell the truth when and if it is convenient to you.
You are not a "safe" person to be involved with, apparently, in any type relationship.
OP, I hope you seek professional help to work on your propensity to default to lying to people.
I haven’t spoken of her contributions but that’s not the topic. The question is if I should’ve been honest with my friend or not. I got guidance from all the answers, thank you
So here's what I think;
Your friend is going to find out you lied. So, you've compounded your problems. Cue in "A cheater AND a liar" to what people will say about you.
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