Is vacationing with parents as an adult normal? (boyfriends, girlfriends, long-term)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Does anyone go on vacation with their parents as an adult? Especially if you are in a relationship? I find it very strange. The last time I went on a vacation with my parents I was like 14-15 years old. My dad is dead, and don't get me wrong, I'm super close to my mom, and I love spending time with her, but I feel like you reach a certain age in your late teens when vacationing with your parents is not really interesting or exciting. And then you start your own relationship and live your own life and don't really have to go and travel with your parents. I spend time with my mom talk on the phone several times a week. Me and my boyfriend come for a dinner pretty regularly, and I also make sure that I come over by myself often,so me and her can just hang out. I'm also there for all holidays and important dates. But it never really crossed my mind that I should leave my boyfriend and go for a vacation for a week or so just with my mom. I feel like as an adult you have your own separate life. When I have kids, I will for sure take them on the trips with me when they are little, but I would never pressure them to travel with me when they are adults and have their own relationships or families.
So I'm asking this, because I have a problem with my relationship right now. Me and my boyfriend are together for 2.5 years and live together. I think things are moving towards proposal, wedding and kids. We talk about it, nothing happened yet, but all i'm trying to say is that the relationship is pretty serious, we are very close and almost like a family. In summer, his mom just got this idea out of nowhere. how here and my boyfriend's dad will rent a house in Florida (we live in Canada) for a winter, and that my boyfriend and his sister (who is also in a serious long term relationship) should come and visit them for a week, but without me and his sister's boyfriend. When he told me about it for the first time and asked me if I was ok with that, I have stupidly said yes. I guess I felt like I'll be a horrible person for standing between him and his family, and also its just family, not like he is going on some kind of party Las Vegas trip with a bunch of guys. He even said he didn't want to go originally, but for some reason his mom was very insisting and she just bought airplane tickets for him and his sister without even him agreeing to this. At first I thought it was ok, but then the time was getting closer I have realized that I'm not ok with it at all. I know I can't really hold this against him, because I said yes, but now he left and I'm just not ok. Like I said I understand that the family is important, and its good and normal to spend time with your parents. I actually told him that he should go and visit them without me more often. I'm ok with that and have no problem. But the whole traveling thing is bothering me. I don't think its ok for people to go on separate vacations when they are in a relationship. I have no desire to go on some trip without him, and he keeps calling and telling me how it is so hard to be without me. We are very close to each other, so this is difficult. I'm just confused and don't understand why his mom would do this and insist on a familly vacation from her 30+ year old children who are having their own relationships and lives. Do people actually do that and is this normal, and I'm just living in denial? Do people who are 30+ just leave their spouses, girlfriends or boyfriends and go south for vacation with their moms and dads? Seems surreal to me.
I understand that the parents want to see their kids, but why can't they just ask him to come for a weekend to visit without me? Why can't they visit and I can just go out see some friends or my mom? There are so many ways to spend time together. Why there has to be the whole vacation to take him on with flying on the airplane, going to another country etc.? I also would totally be ok if they lived there and he went to visit. I just feel this whole vacation thing is unnecessary. You don't need to plan a trip to spend time with your family.
I think it's normal for families (adult children, parents, etc.) to vacation together occasionally. In your situation, what I think is odd is that the long-term significant others were excluded from the invitation.
My MIL is a huge fan of Elvis and I’ve encouraged him to take her to Memphis, TN to see Graceland. I think they would enjoy a mother/son trip.
What is the difference between him going to see his parents for a week and him going on a trip with his parents for the week?
I think it's normal for families (adult children, parents, etc.) to vacation together occasionally. In your situation, what I think is odd is that the long-term significant others were excluded from the invitation.
RIght, that's what stuck out to me. If it's a family trip, the kids' SOs should be included as well.
I just booked a trip to meet my parents in the town where my sister and BIL live so we all can visit together. We all get along, so it's great.
I've vacationed with my mother on several occasions whether I was in a relationship or not. We usually have a great time, but my mother has a great sense of adventure and we've similar interests, so it's never a dull moment with her. Just because I'm now an adult with her own life to live free from parental oversight doesn't mean that my life no longer intersects and weaves together with hers at times. I treasure my time with her and wouldn't trade it for the world.
A person cannot get that precious time back when you're pretty much your parents' peer before becoming a parent yourself with the the responsibility and distractions that parenthood adds to a once free-wheeling life. Be glad that you seem to have a partner who shares a close relationship with his folks and that you seem to get along well with them as well. Not everyone has that.
There's nothing abnormal or odd about choosing to some of one's vacation time with the folk, although it *is* a bit odd that you and your boyfriend's sister's partner seem to have been deliberately excluded. I wonder if they had some private family business to discuss? If this is the only time that his parents have done nuclear family vacations with their adult children sans their partners, I wouldn't worry about it as it's not likely to become a typical thing for them.
That bit aside, don't borrow trouble that doesn't seem to be there, enjoy your time apart, and have him tell you all about his vacation when he comes back to you.
Does anyone go on vacation with their parents as an adult? Especially if you are in a relationship? I find it very strange. You don't need to plan a trip to spend time with your family.
You don't need to but why not???
I vacation with my parents the 3rd year in a row. We meet in Italy this summer, they drive down from Germany and I fly in from LA. We spend a week at the beach, hang out, relax, get pampered, play volleyball and do some other activities they offer and have fun.
My parents join us on beach vacations to Cape Cod sometimes. We don't stay in the same house, but we hang out on the beach together. They get to spend time with grandkids and we get to go out at night when they watch them. Doesn't seem strange to me, but I don't usually put much into perceptions, at least not in personal life
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Never have and never will. I love my mother but no way in hell will our impatient personalities allow for a peaceful vacation together. My mom is not a vacation type anyway.
In due time OP you actually might understand THAT family IS important . Your entire post had the underlying message that you really don't value family in it's truest sense.
Let's just say you are growing and some day you'll truly grasp the value of sharing time with kin.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
