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Old 02-04-2020, 10:25 AM
 
25 posts, read 13,554 times
Reputation: 30

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If you want full details, please refer to my previous post. I sent him a simple message and said "Hey...how is everything? Did my poem scare you away? Lol." He replied with a LONG message again and explained why he has been distant. He said "You and your messages/poem are not the reason why I was delayed in responding to you." "I really like you. There is nothing to scare off. Please let go of that way of thinking lol."

He went on to say that he broke up with his one band, his college classes got dropped due to low enrollment, then he says how I could never scare him away, and that my poem was beautiful, etc. He also said "Btw, I had a dream about you." I replied to his message and it was normal. I asked what the dream consist of lol. I also said I know about low enrollment because I had to switch some of my classes around due to that. He said "The dream... I don't really remember, kinda forgot, but I know it was you and we were having fun laughing." Like ok??? You just said you had a dream about me, now it's "I don't remember"? What? It didn't make sense.

He really played dumb and it was as if we were first conversing again. He was not gushy, using heart emojis, and very platonic this time around in his messages. He asked me "Oh what are you going to school for? How far are you into it?" That really off putted me. We had a discussion about this prior. We talked somewhat in depth about my major, his major, and colleges. I told him prior I was only 4 classes away from getting my associates and transfering. So, I was utterly confused he asked those questions? That really disgusted me. It was like he was playing dumb. I'm kinda confused by it all. I sent him one last message as a reply, and I even stated that we had a convo about that. He never replied and kept me on "read" again on Facebook.

He's still doing the same old crap of posting stuff, being active online, and ghosting me once again. His response was obviously BS. However, I never encountered a guy that almost acted as if his memory was wiped clean. He literally was conversing with me like it was the first time he ever did! He was not acting like himself, in the sense of being gushy, overly friendly, using heart emojis, and even playing dumb. He acted like we never talked about my major and college? Saying he dreampt of me, then saying he doesn't "remember"? It was very dry all of a sudden. I, of course am not conversing with him at all, ever again. I got my answer, but I'm confused. I never encountered someone who just acts like all those long messages never existed. Yet is telling me that I could never scare him away and that he really likes me? Is this a player act? Some of my friends think he's mental or on drugs, but who knows. I just wanted opinions on what this sounds like and what it means when a guy plays really dumb, completely forgets everything, is very dry, and not like he was when we were conversing?
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:29 AM
 
1,185 posts, read 751,601 times
Reputation: 2398
He’s just not that into you. None of this was real to him - time to move on.
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:35 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,723 posts, read 20,259,734 times
Reputation: 29009
Majority of posters in that thread already gave great insight.


What more is there to say?
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:37 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,977,655 times
Reputation: 116179
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses View Post
If you want full details, please refer to my previous post. I sent him a simple message and said "Hey...how is everything? Did my poem scare you away? Lol." He replied with a LONG message again and explained why he has been distant. He said "You and your messages/poem are not the reason why I was delayed in responding to you." "I really like you. There is nothing to scare off. Please let go of that way of thinking lol."

He went on to say that he broke up with his one band, his college classes got dropped due to low enrollment, then he says how I could never scare him away, and that my poem was beautiful, etc. He also said "Btw, I had a dream about you." I replied to his message and it was normal. I asked what the dream consist of lol. I also said I know about low enrollment because I had to switch some of my classes around due to that. He said "The dream... I don't really remember, kinda forgot, but I know it was you and we were having fun laughing." Like ok??? You just said you had a dream about me, now it's "I don't remember"? What? It didn't make sense.

He really played dumb and it was as if we were first conversing again. He was not gushy, using heart emojis, and very platonic this time around in his messages. He asked me "Oh what are you going to school for? How far are you into it?" That really off putted me. We had a discussion about this prior. We talked somewhat in depth about my major, his major, and colleges. I told him prior I was only 4 classes away from getting my associates and transfering. So, I was utterly confused he asked those questions? That really disgusted me. It was like he was playing dumb. I'm kinda confused by it all. I sent him one last message as a reply, and I even stated that we had a convo about that. He never replied and kept me on "read" again on Facebook.
My take; he wasn't playing dumb. He'd completely forgotten the conversation about your major, etc., because he's juggling other women--whether online only or in person, we don't know--and he can't keep track of everyone's details, so he makes mistakes, like asking questions he's already asked before and gotten answers to.

Verdict: he's not into you. It's just a game. He's been playing this game so long (with others), that he knows all the right things to say. None of it counts unless and until he's willing to say these things to you in person, and even then, he wouldn't have much credibility, after all of this somewhat fake online back-and-forth.
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:44 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Chingaso View Post
He’s just not that into you. None of this was real to him - time to move on.
Yup, it was a temporary virtual pen pal. Nothing more.


Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Majority of posters in that thread already gave great insight.


What more is there to say?
Nothing.
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:49 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,984,458 times
Reputation: 43165
blablabla. Move on, he isn't worth it.

And I really don't get why people use "LOL" all the time when they aren't even making a joke. Am I the only one who thinks it makes you look unintelligent? Lol.
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Old 02-04-2020, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,975,596 times
Reputation: 98359
This is just self-flagellation. You just couldn't stay away, huh?

Yes, it's player behavior. You are one of many for him.
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Old 02-04-2020, 12:27 PM
 
25 posts, read 13,554 times
Reputation: 30
I just wanted to see for my sake what he would respond with. It's obvious it was a game but what I don't get is that why write LONG lengthy messages and get to know someone on that level and ghost? I just never encountered that. The only guys that did those sort of things were guys that weren't that engaging with me. Like you could read between the lines they were just in it for a hook up. This guy really was putting effort into messages and responding to me, and get to know me as a person. He is also very intelligent with a very comfortable welcoming nature. He wasn't just your typical player. It really confused me.

I understand now. He is not into me. I just find it odd he is completely acting like we never conversed, and says "I had a dream about you" then when I ask what it was "I forgot but you were in it." Uhhh??? That doesn't even make sense. Also, to go on to say "I really like you and our messages and your poem is not what caused my delay." Is going the extra mile. To me that is. Usually when I dealt with players they didn't even bother to explain themselves and just would say a one word answer or randomly pop up again wanting to hang out. So, I guess I'm just confused because he really played a role of a decent guy. But whatever. It was hurtful. I am hurt by the fact that I did open up to someone I thought would be a good friend eventually or a friend of some sort. It hurts to know I was just being toyed with.
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Old 02-04-2020, 12:38 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
You really need to figure out why you were so invested in a temporary online penpal that you didn't even want to ask out. Just move on and don't emotionally invest in "virtual relationships".
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Old 02-04-2020, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,975,596 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses View Post
I just wanted to see for my sake what he would respond with. It's obvious it was a game but what I don't get is that why write LONG lengthy messages and get to know someone on that level and ghost? I just never encountered that. The only guys that did those sort of things were guys that weren't that engaging with me. Like you could read between the lines they were just in it for a hook up. This guy really was putting effort into messages and responding to me, and get to know me as a person. He is also very intelligent with a very comfortable welcoming nature. He wasn't just your typical player. It really confused me.

I understand now. He is not into me. I just find it odd he is completely acting like we never conversed, and says "I had a dream about you" then when I ask what it was "I forgot but you were in it."
You are confused because, up to now, apparently you haven't dealt with this kind of disrespect and selfish motivation before.

Now you have, and next time you won't be so confused. Hopefully you will recognize it earlier.

Why did he do it?

Again, like I wrote in your other thread, not everyone approaches every situation the same way YOU do. Not everyone sees long messages as a way to build intimacy. Some see it as a way to pass time. Some people add meaning to every word. Some don't even remember what words they used.

"I had a dream about you ..." can be standard bait, a come on, as they used to call it. He was just moving things along ...for what? Who knows?

You've already spent WAY too much time and emotional energy on him. Now it's time to look inward and learn so you can guard your heart next time and not be taken advantage of again.
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