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I'm learning that love means admiration more and I don't think I've ever admired anyone I dated so I can't answer that question. I did admire someone once who knew what to say and when to say it but I don't like him as a person anymore and it never felt quite right with him so I have to throw that out the window for my poor judgment. What are some traits that you do admire about your partner or would for your ideal partner so I can have some ideas? I imagine mine would be if the person was genuinely kind, intellectually stimulating, etc. But I have met people like that I didn't date and didn't feel anything romantic toward them.
Her sense of integrity and kindness and work ethic are good.
She works hard and isn't the kind of person to try and rise up to a role where you dump work on other people while you reduce the amount of work you have to do.
She also is loyal to friends (even though they are often much less so to her) and wants to help people, genuinely cares about people.
She's pretty smart, though I wouldn't necessarily worldly, and very open to trying new things.
She's also not very shallow at all.
Some of the other things could be better in terms of compatibility but those listed are not easy to find.
He is stable and patient. Doesn't up and run the minute something is challenging or uncomfortable.
He is wise, and knows when to avoid risk, and is able to see when certain kinds of gratification aren't worth the price to pay. But knows the value of indulgence and simply enjoying life, too.
He's always willing to grow and embraces opportunities to get out of his comfort zone and have new experiences, especially when he sees that they can teach him something.
He knows how to reflect on the past, plan for the future, but live in the moment. He knows a lot of wise philosophical things.
He has a lot of empathy and caring. It is never "all about him." But when he feels he has permission and it is appropriate, he can absolutely take charge. He is sensitive, but he's nobody's doormat.
He's smart, and has a clever sense of humor. But he doesn't always need to be the smartest guy in the room, and doesn't feel an ego-driven need to one up other people. Appreciates other people's input, when they know more than he does. I admire him for the knowledge he has about certain subjects, like how cameras work, and aviation, and history...that I don't know so much about.
He values happiness and harmony, and is not driven to engage in conflict.
He is frugal, and has good financial habits.
He is healthy, has good eating habits, is physically active, and has never had any unhealthy substance addictions.
And at a more basic level, things that I "admire" as in...I find attractive...? I like how he still has his dark hair, and the silver is coming in at the temples. I like the way that his smile reaches his eyes. And he always smells good. I love the timbre of his voice and the sound of his laugh.
And I like that his parents had a good relationship, and that he loved his mother. As someone who comes from a family with a lot of drama that I often have to work to avoid...it's really nice that he comes from a good, loving family.
(I'm laughing at this list, because some of these read like "Yes, partnering with this human is a very logical choice." And other stuff is like, "But the sensory magic, the sheer chemistry, makes me want to be close to him." So it's like I've got Spock reasons and Kirk reasons...lol...)
I've been with the same woman for 45 years. In all that time I don't think she's ever lied or treated another person poorly. I'm not always an angel, but she treats me with respect and love and I always try to return the favor. We literally fell in love within moments of meeting each other and our love has only gotten stronger.
The high point of my life was meeting Pam and I've never had any reason to think I made a mistake. In a large sense, she is my hero.
She loves me for me. From our first date we just seem to connect. One of many many many things I admire about her is the way she raised her 3 kids. Her first husband died of a heart attack with her youngest daughter, in her 40s now, was 5 years old. She had quit school to get married, so after his death, she went back to school, while taking care of her kids and got her GED and associate degree from a local community college. Then landed a full time job and worked there over 20 years. And she was also taking care of her mother who had health problems. She's always been a hard worker and not give up.
Great mother.
Caring.
Loyal.
Trustworthy.
Not shallow.
She asked me out first
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