Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
[quote=Katnan;58457462]What I've found when you lose someone close to you, it changes everything. For me, and a few friends agreed with me when they experienced loss, you don't reach out to others because you just don't have the strength. Death can have such a profound impact on your mind, your thought processes, your ability to function. It was a challenge to reach out to close friends I had established relationships with.
If this is a young person who died, the friend circle might be trying to support each other, trying to figure out a way to honour the friend's memory or support their family, in the midst of a pandemic.
No harm in sending a thinking of you text, but I really wouldn't expect much in return.[/quote]
I was thinking about this too.
Not really to try and get something out of it, but just being...a good person I guess. Maybe something like "I hope you're hanging in there, and I wish you well."
Not really to try and get something out of it, but just being...a good person I guess. Maybe something like "I hope you're hanging in there, and I wish you well."
That is the perfect text to send. It's not asking anything of him, but just letting him know you're in his thoughts.
As an aside, for people you are closer to, I have found one of the worst things to say is "let me know if there's anything I can do". As a grieving person, I will never ask you to do anything, because I might not even know what that anything is. Even if I do, I still won't ask, not wanting to burden others with my grief/problems. IMO, it's much more helpful to offer something. Can I pick up groceries, bring you a coffee, would you like some company this evening. If you don't hear from a grieving person, reach out. IMO, it's never a bother to have a grieving person know you're thinking of them.
I went out on a great first date with a guy in March. Literally the next day the city shutdown due to covid so we have continued to text over the past couple of months. Two weeks ago we finally got to meet again and he claimed he wanted to try to schedule something again. But when I proposed dinner, 24 hours later he responded saying his good friend died (this is true) and ignored my question about meeting again. I offered my condolences and we chatted a bit further about the death. I've checked in on him but he hasn't been initiating any contact any longer. Is he just not interested any longer, or too distracted by the sudden death? I'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know if you have this guy's contact information, but in about 2 weeks to a month. I would send him a thinking of you card. Its demonstrating that you are concerned about him and his well being. It puts the ball back in his court. If you don't hear back, just assume he just doesn't feel like you do and move on.
Thanks all for the responses and general advice. I agree with the general consensus that I've done what I can for now. I'll just hang back and if I still feel the urge in a few weeks, then I'll send him one more "thinking of you" text. @oscarniemeyer, I actually don't have any contact information other than text.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
