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Hi all. I wanted to get some advice. I am 30, female. I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now. I haven't dated a lot, and not for a long time. I'm extremely happy with him. He treats me great and we have a lot of fun together. However...sex was fantastic for about the first 2 months, and now it's happening much less frequently and with a lot less enthusiasm. I've talked to him about it a little bit and he says he notices the change to and he's not really sure why the lack of enthusiasm. But at times I feel very rejected and hurt by this. I feel like we should still be in that honeymoon stage where we can't keep our hands off each other. Should I just let this go or maybe he's not really into me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelliD12
He's 40. We started dating in February and the sex is good but in June we had sex 4 times. And 2 of those were on the same day...after I mentioned I was worried.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SenorChip
I would say that it is normal in this quarantine that people are affected by something.
The best way to solve a problem like this is to talk, talk and talk more with your partner to solve it.
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Originally Posted by oh-eve
yes, it helps everyone who has a normal sex drive. He has not.
Eve is right his sex drive right now is not normal, the question is why has it fallen off so much so quickly? We are also in the middle of a global health pandemic as well as regular on going race riots that has thrown off everyone's routine, made listening to the news depressing and made everyone more fearful about employment security and this has been occurring at the same time your boyfriend started having issues in the bedroom. Gyms have also been closed meaning less exercise which tends to ward off depression.
If you were prone to depression, there is enough going on to become depressed. Depression can impact libido. That alone could be creating this problem.
In addition many of the SSRI's that are most commonly prescribed to treat depression are also used to treat premature ejaculation. These meds can impact both libido and the ability to get an erection and for him to have an orgasm. In some men this is just a short term side effect that they note only when they first go on the meds or when they up there doses, but for others this is a more chronic side effect. He may also be embarrassed about these side effects, not wanting to bring them up hoping they will go away soon. So that is why I also agree with SenorChip about talking with your boyfriend in a supportive non-accusatory fashion. There are also other anti depressants meds that don't have or have less severe sexual side effects. So if this is the case, you can encourage him talk to his doctor about trying other meds.
Maybe he's seeing someone else. If you only see him twice a week and not always having sex, he's probably getting it elsewhere. Sorry.
I don't think so. Such cheater guys with multiple partners are usually the last ones to reject sex. Their high sex drive is what makes them cheaters in the first place.
I think he just has a low sex drive and the new and excitement is over and this is really him - not very interested in sex.
Hi all. I wanted to get some advice. I am 30, female. I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now. I haven't dated a lot, and not for a long time. I'm extremely happy with him. He treats me great and we have a lot of fun together. However...sex was fantastic for about the first 2 months, and now it's happening much less frequently and with a lot less enthusiasm. I've talked to him about it a little bit and he says he notices the change to and he's not really sure why the lack of enthusiasm. But at times I feel very rejected and hurt by this. I feel like we should still be in that honeymoon stage where we can't keep our hands off each other. Should I just let this go or maybe he's not really into me?
Sounds like he's not into having sex with you like he was. Sometimes you can be desensitized if you do it too often but that does not seem to be the case. Maybe he found someone else, or he is no longer attracted to you. I've been married 47 years and although our frequency is much less than it was, when it does happen it's still great for both of us.
Hmmm, yeah at the 4 month stage, the sex should still be strong. I think that things should slow down at the 1 year mark or so. I say you give it one more month, see how it goes. If not, cut your loses and find someone who you can hit it off with.
He's 40. We started dating in February and the sex is good but in June we had sex 4 times. And 2 of those were on the same day...after I mentioned I was worried.
You still haven't answered questions as to whether this is a pattern with him. Have you talked to him about his past relationships, and whether this has been a pattern with him. If not, you should. We can't really advise you without that information, other than to say, that this apparently is who he is, so if this isn't working for you, you should move on and look for a better match.
You still haven't answered questions as to whether this is a pattern with him. Have you talked to him about his past relationships, and whether this has been a pattern with him. If not, you should. We can't really advise you without that information, other than to say, that this apparently is who he is, so if this isn't working for you, you should move on and look for a better match.
OP hasn't responded to this thread since July, so I'm guessing she won't be back, and has probably either dumped him or decided to stay with him long ago.
OP hasn't responded to this thread since July, so I'm guessing she won't be back, and has probably either dumped him or decided to stay with him long ago.
lol. Thanks.
/thread
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