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Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 18 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,356,252 times
Reputation: 5382
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A friend was telling me this story that about a guy’s wife is tagging along with him to a bachelor party that she isn’t invited to but attending to “keep an eye on him”.
I said, are you serious??? We both thought it was really weird and it would make the entire night extremely awkward if the wife was there. This wife obviously has some control/trust issues not letting her husband go on his own being with his male buddies. Bachelor parties are meant for men only doing guy stuff. Same with bachelorette parties meant for ladies only. I never heard of someone’s SO tagging along. Is this a new thing?
I couldn’t imagine just showing up to a guy’s bachelor party tagging along with my SO. It would be weird for everyone involved. Even if, it was a PG all guys party, being there wouldn’t feel right.
I’ve only been to 2 bachelorette parties. Yep, 2 or 3. I can’t remember if I attended 3. One couple was only married a few years. All 3 parties, it was all women and it would’ve been bizarre if a lady’s husband or boyfriend came along. I would think the guy is a stage 5 clinger.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
35,588 posts, read 17,927,273 times
Reputation: 50621
If I were the guy hosting the bachelor party, I'd uninvite the attendee who was insisting on bringing his wife. (And yes, this is on him, not entirely on her. He's agreeing that she come along).
If he's the host of the bachelor party, it sounds like this is a party where both men and women are invited, and the guys should feel free to bring their girlfriends/wives, and it isn't a bachelor party. It's an engagement party.
Bachelor/Bachelorette parties weren't a thing when I was in my twenties, so never attended either one.
Not sure what the expectations are for bachelorette parties, but bachelor parties have a reputation for strippers, liquor, naughty behavior & etc. Personally I'd not want to attend one. Much less go to "keep an eye on" my husband. What am I, the warden?
Ultimately it comes down to people are going to do what they're going to do. Being jealous and possessive is pointless.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
35,588 posts, read 17,927,273 times
Reputation: 50621
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl
Bachelor/Bachelorette parties weren't a thing when I was in my twenties, so never attended either one.
Not sure what the expectations are for bachelorette parties, but bachelor parties have a reputation for strippers, liquor, naughty behavior & etc. Personally I'd not want to attend one. Much less go to "keep an eye on" my husband. What am I, the warden?
Ultimately it comes down to people are going to do what they're going to do. Being jealous and possessive is pointless.
Not to mention undignified and no fun.
My 20something sons have gone to several bachelor parties, and although decades in the past they involved strippers, now they tend to involve renting a lake house and buying lot of beer and barbecuing. And kayaking, or something similar.
My 20something sons have gone to several bachelor parties, and although decades in the past they involved strippers, now they tend to involve renting a lake house and buying lot of beer and barbecuing. And kayaking, or something similar.
Tried to rep you but couldn't again.
Anyway, lake house, beer and bbq sounds much nicer.
Only a complete loser wimp would allow his wife to go. He needs to be uninvited. Or if the battle axe comes, let he see what goes on. She’s in for an uncomfortable night. I would love to watch that one.
Only a complete loser wimp would allow his wife to go. He needs to be uninvited. Or if the battle axe comes, let he see what goes on. She’s in for an uncomfortable night. I would love to watch that one.
There is a road close by named Battle Axe road. I thought it was named after my ex mother-in-law.
Tagging along uninvited and showing that utter lack of trust is terrible. Most bachelor parties would be more fun camping, sitting around a fire drinking whiskey and telling stories.
You didn't know? When you are married the wife has the right to know everything the husband does. She can follow him, read his texts and emails, show up unexpectedly, etc.
She has the right to attend anything he goes to. ANYTHING. NO EXCEPTIONS!
So, when they got to the party- it's up to the host to decide if she can enter. Not the husband.
I haven't been to a bachelorette party in years - like at least 20 + years, but we used to run into the guys a while out at bachelorette/bachelor parties and crashed one or two. We had a large friend group that all hung out together almost every weekend, and we all were married within 2-4 years of each other. It was fun for all. Back then, it was strip clubs or strippers. It was back in the time where video cameras were big, and parties were videoed. We've seen it all.
Just one of the thousand and one things where I'm not on the same wavelength as "normal people."
(Not saying this with an "I'm so special" tone, more of an "I'm sad because I can't relate" tone.)
There are a lot of explicit activities and situations that most people find shocking or would never be ok with, that I don't have any discomfort around at all. And then there are things that seem to be perfectly accepted by mainstream society, that make me really uncomfortable.
I find the general concept of most bachelor and bachelorette parties, at least if they involve carousing with strippers and such, to be repugnant. It's like, at the center of it is this person who has committed to another and is getting ready to marry them, there should be love and devotion and a desire for both to be bonded and trusting. But hey, let's set up a whole situation to act like it's entering a prison sentence (who is making you get married anyways?) and furthermore to throw your partner's feelings on a fire like they don't matter one bit. If that is your idea of living it up and you feel like you are making this huuuuge sacrifice, why in the hell even bother getting married? Just keep on partying if that's your thing.
I would not try to go with my husband but I'm not sure I'd feel good about him going to one, even though I adore and trust him. But it's another situation where I would actually be a lot happier if he were dating and sleeping with another woman that I liked and trusted. The stripper deal just feels like..."casual fun means more to me than your feelings and it's OK because I'm not seeing these women as whole actual people, just sex on the hoof." And to be fair here, I'm not the only one between the two of us who isn't comfortable with this kind of thing. Early in our relationship when we were not even exclusive yet, I went to a birthday party for a friend where there was a male stripper. I told him about it and shared plenty about my feelings about the whole deal. I was not comfortable and I didn't want to interact with the stripper guy, I just wanted to show up for my friend. My now-husband, told me that it was "different" with women and male strippers because we were "allowed" to do full on sex acts with them and they'd go along with it and he had all of these ideas in his head about what it would be like. Well, it was not like that. And I told the stripper guy before things got underway that I was giving a handful of cash to the birthday girl and did not want to interact with him, it just wasn't my thing and I was uncomfortable, but to please give her a bit of extra attention for me. He was totally cool with that. Nice guy but his dance was more ridiculous than sexy to me, just flailing his floppy banana hammock around all over the place. Whatever.
I find it funny, I feel that I am a bit prudish about some things, yet going to full on BDSM parties with all that entails? No big. /shrug
But I need to interact conversationally with another person before I will feel any attraction to them at all, and the whole thing of engaging with sexual interest in a way that disregards someone's personality kinda squicks me, and it pushes some kind of buttons when my husband does it, too. It's just a bit of a brain gremlin, I guess. One that at least I'm aware of and try to keep in check, if I can't eliminate it totally.
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