Why are men generally older than women in relationships? (dating, wife, married)
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I am 30 years old and prefer to date women 25-30 years old. I would not date a woman over 35 years old as I am looking to have 2-3 children (biological). I know women can have children into their 50s but generally the risks go up significantly for women in their 40s, though I should note I have a cousin who had two healthy girls at 42 and 44 years old.
I have dated two women who were 3 and 9 years older than me and ultimately it just didn't work as we were at different places in our lives. I would like to find my wife in the next 5 years but would be okay having my first child by the time I am 40. Also, I should note people in my family live long and healthy lives so having a child in college when I am in my 60s is not an issue as people in my family don't generally retire until we are in our mid 80s.
I have dated two women who were 3 and 9 years older than me and ultimately it just didn't work as we were at different places in our lives.
Even though I haven't and don't pay attention to it as it is too late to fix my ways now, I have to agree with you. When a big age difference is present, people are at different places in their lives and this fact does contribute to additional problems others don't encounter.
To answer the question in the title, I think that, generally speaking, women are more mature than men, especially in that 20 to late 30 age range and if we're talking about a substantial relationship and not just a fling. It's a sweeping generality but that's my observation.
I think there are two big reasons: 1) societal pressure, 2) biological clock.
For that first one, I give you this: I had a friend who was almost 15 years older than me (I was 23 and she was 38). We were just friends, but the age gap embarrassed her even though we were only friends. Do you think it would be the same thing in the reverse case... a 38-year-old man being embarrassed about having a 23-year-old female friend? Society says it's better for the man to be older. Who knows. I say that age is just a number, in the end. You're only as old as you feel.
For the second one, you have to figure that women aren't considered especially viable for bearing children after age 40. I know it happens, but 40 is considered by most women to be the magic barrier beyond which it's physiologically unwise to try to bear children. As such, women start wanting children when they're quite young. A woman who is in her upper 20s or early 30s and doesn't have children yet probably wants them and wants them SOON... so, if she were to hook up with a much younger man, he'd be likely to feel the pressure to become a daddy soon. Men generally seem not to like that. Heaven knows, I'm 28 and I still feel too young to be a daddy... thankfully, my wife is only 23 so she isn't pressuring me for kids yet.
I think the answer is that guys tend to be less mature when they're younger. A relationship with the man about 3-4 years older, they both tend to be at about the same level.
I think the answer is that guys tend to be less mature when they're younger. A relationship with the man about 3-4 years older, they both tend to be at about the same level.
I don't even necessarily think that the maturity factor ends as they get older. To answer the question, I, too, think it's a maturity factor. Of course there's always the exception. But as a whole women mature faster then men.
While women in their mid-late 20's are getting their careers and lives together, many man (although trying to accomplish the same) are still out dating like crazy. I married a woman 5 years older than me, and we were married for about 14 years. Problem was, when I finally got divorced (3 years ago), I realized that I felt as if I were 5 years older than her!!
So, women keep us old guys (I'm 43) young, and we give them more maturity and security than guys their age.
I have dated two women who were 3 and 9 years older than me and ultimately it just didn't work as we were at different places in our lives.
That might have been the case for you personally, but people shouldn't necessarily extrapolate that idea to cover THEIR relationships. Why?
How can you be sure that a mere 3 or 9 years denotes "different places"? Did I miss the memo on The Official Time-Line of Human Development?
The only "different places" you can be SURE you're both at is chronological age. Other than that, I fail to see the logic behind that argument...I've been with far older women and been exactly where they were at - mentally, emotionally and spiritually; the same also occurred with far younger partners. Yes, there were a few times when we were out of synch, but careful "screening" seemed to eliminate most of those.
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