Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I like my office job and I would like to keep it, thats why I usually avoid work relationships(and also because i have a girlfriend already), but this female coworker comes to my desk everyday and talks to me for a while, I thought it was normal until a few days ago when she started asking me about my girlfriend, why we didnt have kids, and then she told me she likes dating younger men (she is around 40 years old and I am 30) and tells me she has a date with a 26 years old on friday. I congratulated her but it felt a bit weird, should I tell her something so she backs off? or is doing nothing enough?
Try to be subtle at first, put on headphones or do something and when she comes by, just smile and ignore her. Or something along those lines until she gets the hint.
If not, then tell her in a neutral manner that while you appreciate her relationship stories, you don't feel comfortable talking about those things.
So I like my office job and I would like to keep it, thats why I usually avoid work relationships(and also because i have a girlfriend already), but this female coworker comes to my desk everyday and talks to me for a while, I thought it was normal until a few days ago when she started asking me about my girlfriend, why we didnt have kids, and then she told me she likes dating younger men (she is around 40 years old and I am 30) and tells me she has a date with a 26 years old on friday. I congratulated her but it felt a bit weird, should I tell her something so she backs off? or is doing nothing enough?
It's none of her or anyone else's business why you and your gf don't have kids yet. (Though the fact that you're not married could be a good reason to offer.) If she asks again, just say, "I don't know. Why, are you taking a survey?" and stare her right in the eye. Or you could say, "We don't believe in having children outside of wedlock. Do you?"
Really, OP, these intrusions are easy to deal with. And why is she making it your business how old her dates are? Instead of congratulating her, you could have asked her, "Don't you feel like that's a little predatory?" I mean, if you want to get her to quit getting personal with you, you're probably not going to get through to her without putting up clear boundaries. Now that you know she's into getting personal, you can be better prepared the next time it happens.
I admit its kind of my fault, I am very nice by nature and people usually think I am flirting with them when Im just being nice, I just dont have the heart to tell her to back off, I hope she is really dating that younger guy so she finally stops coming to my desk.
I admit its kind of my fault, I am very nice by nature and people usually think I am flirting with them when Im just being nice, I just dont have the heart to tell her to back off, I hope she is really dating that younger guy so she finally stops coming to my desk.
OP, I don't understand how she can come to your desk daily, and take up your time with chat. Don't you two have a supervisor? Don't your supervisors expect you to work? I've never worked somewhere, where it was ok to stroll around the office and kill time visiting with other employees, unless the conversation was work-related. Why not tell her you have work to do, and can't chat?
OP, I don't understand how she can come to your desk daily, and take up your time with chat. Don't you two have a supervisor? Don't your supervisors expect you to work? I've never worked somewhere, where it was ok to stroll around the office and kill time visiting with other employees, unless the conversation was work-related. Why not tell her you have work to do, and can't chat?
She comes very early in the morning when no one is supervising (or doing much at all)
She comes very early in the morning when no one is supervising (or doing much at all)
So, either stop coming in very early--talk to your super about changing your schedule, because your co-worker keeps monopolizing your time in the early part of the day--or tell the nosy co-worker you have work to do.
What a strange workplace, that the supervisors don't come in until the regular workers have been there for an hour or two already. This story is sounding stranger as you respond to each question.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
