Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It’s sometimes more fun and entertaining to just have short term relationships with jerks. You don’t feel as bad ending it or saying you’re not looking for a commitment to a guy who’s giving off untrustworthy or unfaithful vibes. A lot of people like to date, actually like people, but aren’t looking for forever after. Just being honest, I’m not pretending it looks good.
You’re not being honest….. with them.
Two jerks don’t make a right. Why not just be honest and up front? If you’re not looking for a LTR why not disclose it? I am sure that a lot of men will happily date/bed you.. even if they know it’s only short term. Why play stupid games? If they’re looking for a LTR, they’ll probably bounce once you tell them that you’re not. Or are you just trying to get over on them?
Seriously… what’s the point? A free dinner or two?
I don't see the point of someone being in a discussion forum only to answer back with quizzical responses and lazy answers, no, that's true, I don't.
Does Fem stand for feminine?
Having female friends makes a guy feminine? So a man is only a real man if he has a bunch of men as friends, and any time a guy has female friends in his life, he's either secretly gay, or he's trying to sleep with those women?
But what if the guy has male friends who are very attractive? Does that mean the guy with all of these very attractive men as his own friends is confused about his sexuality? What if his friends have a lot of money, and he doesn't? Does that mean this guy is trying to climb the social ladder by hooking up with rich men, despite not being attracted to men himself, but because he has rich friends that surely means he's trying to sleep with them to improve his lot in life?
I've tried googling the answer to these questions, but google isn't hitting me back with any satisfactory answers, I suppose I'll rely instead on the very wise knowledge of the forum posters who have nearly twenty-thousand posts to their name, and considering how much free time they have to spend online, I reckon they are in their 50s, and 60s, and 70s, at the very least, which certainly means they are as emotionally mature as Jeff Bezos is rich, because we all know the older someone gets, the more intelligent, mature, understanding, and open-minded one gets.
And people wonder why their relationships fail so often.
Sorry for the delay, I was offline over the holiday weekend and forgot about this thread. I don't invest as much of my time or emotional energy in this part of the forum as others here do, but I will do my best to answer your main question.
Yes, Fem does stand for Feminine. You see, it's simply an abbreviated form of the word. Here's the English definition as well, if that helps.
Definition of feminine (Entry 1 of 2)
1: FEMALE sense 1a(1)
2: characteristic of or appropriate or unique to women
feminine beauty
a feminine perspective
3: of, relating to, or constituting the gender that ordinarily includes most words or grammatical forms referring to females
a feminine noun
4a: being an unstressed and usually additional final syllable after the final complete foot in a line of verse
a feminine ending
bof rhyme : having an unstressed final syllable
c: having the final chord occurring on a weak beat
music in feminine cadences
feminine noun
Definition of feminine (Entry 2 of 2)
1a: a noun, pronoun, adjective, or inflectional form or class of the feminine gender
b: the feminine gender
2: the embodiment or conception of a timeless or idealized feminine nature
The thread and all the contributions helped me process my thoughts on this and get closer to figuring out what is actually bothering me. I discovered its not the female friends, per se, but more other aspects about him, that go along with why he would enjoy having lots of female friends.
I realized he is in his feminine energy. I honestly had not thought about it much before, I just knew something didn't seem right. The dynamic is off. He doesn't like being a "man" in a relationship.
He is a dancer, who likes to cook and clean, likes transvestites, has lots of female friends,
and wants the woman he is dating to plan trips and dates and take him and wine and dine him.
So do you see how its starting to add up? I don't think he's gay, no, but I think he is in his feminine energy. If I wanted to make the relationship work, I'd have to enter my masculine energy. Two of the same energies in a relationship doesn't make for a smooth relationship. Its unbalanced.
Its perfectly ok for a man to be in his feminine energy, and for a woman to be in her masculine energy. Its not a criticism of that per se.
But I realized, for me, this isn't what I want in a relationship. I had to have the experience and process it in order to come to this realization.
Wow, where did you get all that? I was commenting on women picking jerks and said I don’t feel bad ending it with someone who isn’t LTR material, that’s not my first choice right now either. There’s no lying involved.
And where’d you get the part about me using them to buy me dinner? Weird…
You said it yourself…. It’s not a good look. Your words. Apparently you already know it too.
I think that in today's world, especially with Social Media, "friends" are really just acquaintances for the majority of FB friends anyway. As for a red flag, I would probably not like my boyfriend to have 100 female friends with whom he has conversations and messages on a regular basis. Usually one likes the other more than just friends so it really just causes trouble in the long run. I would say that's a red flag, IF, after dating a while they stop staying in constant touch. If you have 900 friends on FB, you really probably have maybe (not counting family and extended family) 15 or 20 very close friends that you share your life with regularly. Personally, I stay away from FB for numerous reasons, this being one of them. I think if you're anything over 13 years old, it's just a dating app and pandora's box. Open it and the BS starts.
I don't think so. During my working career I had a lot more female friends and lunch meetings than with males. Females were more interesting, they didn't want to talk about sports. I never considered asking any of them out, I wasn't attracted to them in a potential-mate sort of way.
I only thing men and women can be friends if there is ZERO attraction on either side or one of them is gay. otherwise it can lead to affairs and hurt feelings I've been on all 3 sides of that and neither feel good.
It’s sometimes more fun and entertaining to just have short term relationships with jerks. You don’t feel as bad ending it or saying you’re not looking for a commitment to a guy who’s giving off untrustworthy or unfaithful vibes. A lot of people like to date, actually like people, but aren’t looking for forever after. Just being honest, I’m not pretending it looks good.
Yeah, people are complicated. We want all kinds of things and even what one person genuinely might want to do right now, might not be what they want to do in a year or five or ten.
The point is, that if a person is a good person and yet is not getting what they want, it's not really the accurate response (though it seems to be the common one) to be thinking, "Women never want someone like me..." or to take it as a personal value judgment if a particular woman doesn't want them in the way that they might hope for.
Just embrace the fact that human beings are chaotic and want or don't want all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. And don't take it personally.
But that whole "it just happened" thing...yeah, I still think that's just a brush-off or an excuse.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
