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My partner and I at a gathering at our friends house. So most people in this circle of friends are close to my age within five or so years. But friends and neighbors of all ages start joining in.
My partner is the friendliest guy. He'll talk to anybody within a day of meeting him most people are friends with him. He's not a social butterfly but he's the kind of person most people feel at ease with right away. People say he's a bit effeminate, I get why they say that, but it doesn't come off that way to me.
Well at this party we were all gathered in my friends kitchen and one of my friends guests makes a comment about my partner being a girl. Partner doesn't react so I keep my cool he says something again to that effect a few min later. His comments are falling flat nobody finds it funny but him. So I'm a bit agitated but I know I can be a bit defensive when it isn't necessary and I know partner wouldn't want me to confront him over it. So I let it go again.
The rest of the evening went on without event but after I put some space between it I really got to thinking why is it that some guys are bothered by less masculine men. I've never encountered this from women.
Is anybody here bothered by this(by which I mean less masculine men, not flirting or even anything suggestive), no judgments, does anybody know? We're any people here bothered by this in the past? Any women find it bothersome but simply to polite to say anything in the presence of others?
As one of those "ooey icky less-masculine" males, I find it actually hilarious that so-called "man's-men" are 'threatened' by males of my 'bent'. Perhaps it is a massive insecurity on their part... or perhaps, just perhaps, it may be that *they* are not as 'masc' as they think they are and it triggers them somehow into overcompensating in some way.
Always been curious about this one myself, may want to have this put in the Psych section, good topic.
Yeah, I don't get the obsession with manly men. The moment a man wear pastel shirts, or longer hair, or trendy clothes, or cross the legs when sitting - he became less masculine and less of a man. It's weird and I think, it's cultural thing. It has a lot to do with self esteem too.
No it wasn't that it's that he kept bringing it up. He was making derogatory comments. I've seen guys almost come to blows when someone makes a derogatory comment about their partner I didn't even say anything.
As one of those "ooey icky less-masculine" males, I find it actually hilarious that so-called "man's-men" are 'threatened' by males of my 'bent'. Perhaps it is a massive insecurity on their part... or perhaps, just perhaps, it may be that *they* are not as 'masc' as they think they are and it triggers them somehow into overcompensating in some way.
Always been curious about this one myself, may want to have this put in the Psych section, good topic.
I was trying to figure out where to put this and maybe the psych section is better.
I've always been very masculine guy even when I was a boy. It was quite common even when I cross straight guys that weren't as masculine as me in the traditional sense of the words so I never really thought anything about it. Maybe that's why I don't see that in him I don't care.
Yeah, I don't get the obsession with manly men. The moment a man wear pastel shirts, or longer hair, or trendy clothes, or cross the legs when sitting - he became less masculine and less of a man. It's weird and I think, it's cultural thing. It has a lot to do with self esteem too.
And it's just garden variety sexism. Women are lesser people, so men who "act like women" (whatever that means) are lesser as well.
In this particular case with the OP, I think the issue here is garden variety homophobia. You have a bully hoping to make gay men uncomfortable and he was looking for a vulnerability to attack. A more effiminate gay man is just a more prominent target so that is why he went after him.
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