Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think what you mean is she's hot and fun. But is that what you're really looking for? Only you can decide. If you want a long term relationship, she's not it and you are wasting your time, and potentially courting trouble.
She is attractive but I’ve dated more attractive. I really do feel a connection to her and she really is a different person when not out drinking. It’s like night and day., traditional mom type by day, and then when she gets out, with a few drinks in her it’s a whole thing. When not in these situations she’s a great mom that super present and always doing activities with her kids with no red flags at all. Just movies, tv shows, coffee, dinner dates etc. Really crazy.
OK, so this is one of those, "Hey, C-D, this woman I'm with is really great, except for one thing.... What do you think I should do" threads. IDK, OP; this one flaw seems pretty serious. But it's your call.
What's concerning, is that after two of these "drunk flirting" incidents over a few years of your on-again, off-again dating with her, you said, that more recently when you got together with her, she'd changed tremendously, and seemed much more grounded. And yet.... it happened again. Here's what you said:
OP, you can see the writing on the wall. This isn't going to change, no matter how many promises that it will. And look how it played out this time: she was hugging one of the guys she was flirting with, and one of the guys (the one who got hugged, maybe?) even followed her back to her group, thinking she was available.
Clearly, you can't trust her to go out with her friends on her own, without you. And this seems to be escalating to the point that guys are following her around. And this one was a decent guy, he backed off & apologized, but on other occasions she (and you) might not be so lucky.
I don't think she should be drinking at all. I think she has a problem. But that's just me, maybe.
Is this what you want in your life, for the rest of your life, until death do you two part?
That’s right but there were actually only 2 incidents. One the first time we dated and this most recent occurrence. I mean when we go out she chats up others around us, male, female, old, young but its always been with her still present with me. These two were different.I agree that I think there is a problem with the drinking. In both incidents she was drunk and this last one she was almost black out drunk…..completely hollowed out eyes, no idea what the hell was going on which is especially problematic at our age.
What do you like about her, besides the physical? How old is she? She seems immature. This type of behavior, few people would stand for. It’s less about jealousy than her need for attention and being rude to whomever she is with.
Why is she pursuing you? Likely she annoyed the others.
What do you know about her? What is her goal, to get remarried?
In any case, this is your decision. Nobody can tell you take a risk or not. In my view, she threw up warning signs.
This is early courtship and she is acting this way and being drunk isn’t an excuse. It’s another reason she’s unattractive. How much of a drinker is she?
But you should talk to her and ask her if she gets numbers, or why she feels the need to flirt with men, and what she thinks of the fact you find it questionable.
How she responds will say something. If she says youre being jealous, I think seeing someone like this is on you. You know what she’s like.
Why haven't you asked her about this that it continues being an issue?
Seems like she is in control and you're afraid of upsetting her.
She’s 40 so the drinking and need for attention seems a little much. She also tends to hang out with groups of people way younger and in some cases in thier 20’s. Before we got back together she told me about.a trip her and a friend took where they ended up partying at a club filled with 20 something’s until 4am which just sounds super weird. She claims it was her friend pushing her but I have friends and not enough pushing gets me into a club of 20 year olds until 4am.
She doesn’t seem to ever really drink unless it’s in a social setting however does seem to overdo it especially in larger groups. Like I mentioned, this last incident she was completely out.
When I confronted her she just says she’s too chatty but doesn’t mean anything by it and knows she’s needs to change that now that she’s in a relationship. But I think this is just a sign of dependency on alcohol and attention to fill some kind of void. Maybe an insecurity issue.
I’m not afraid of upsetting her at all and very blunt with my concerns. I think its just a matter of how well we connect outside of these situations. Like I said, she’s night and day, nothing like this at all other times. Super sweet, normal woman. That and as I mentioned just wasn’t sure it wasn’t me being too jealous.
We’re headed out again this weekend, I really want to see how things go given the last outing. If likely ready to move on but want to see how it goes.
She is attractive but I’ve dated more attractive. I really do feel a connection to her and she really is a different person when not out drinking. It’s like night and day., traditional mom type by day, and then when she gets out, with a few drinks in her it’s a whole thing. When not in these situations she’s a great mom that super present and always doing activities with her kids with no red flags at all. Just movies, tv shows, coffee, dinner dates etc. Really crazy.
Well it's like other posters have said, "There's something there, it's just not enough" and "being drunk isn't an excuse, it's another reason she's unattractive". I was thinking the same things, but they said it better than I could.
That and as I mentioned just wasn’t sure it wasn’t me being too jealous.
You keep mentioning this. There's probably a reason why.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
