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Okay, this is separate from my other discussion, where I'm dealing with the end of a relationship and partner who has moved on to someone else. I was recently talking to a friend about my situation and he recommended that I plant a tracking device on my partner. I thought that was not great advice since I already know enough about what's going on and I probably don't need to know more. But I was further to surprised that to hear that without suspecting anything has long had tracking devices installed in his husband's car, concealed into a backpack that he purchased for him, and a stealth tracking program on his phone. Even though relationships require trust and trustworthiness, this seems like a huge overstep of privacy to me. I was curious what everyone thinks here?
Also, I don't think this should effect the responses to the first question, but it is also worth noting that these two are in an agreed upon strictly monogamous relationship. They both profess to be of the jealous and possessive type that couldn't tolerate extramarital partners. But they are a definite mismatch in libidos. The husband is satisfied with sex as rarely as once a month while my my friend I feel is on the verge of having a sex addiction. This has him seeking out new sexual partners on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. There have even been a few short term romantic relationships on the side over the 5 years I have known him.Obviously there's a lot of hypocrisy here.
IMO, your friend has greatly overstepped decent boundaries. He is jealous, controlling, and possibly even a danger to his partner (if he feels - rightly or wrongly - that some boundary has been crossed.
I'd consider telling his partner about the trackers in this case, because he is at risk both from violence and STIs that your friend may contract during his cheating.
IMO, your friend has greatly overstepped decent boundaries. He is jealous, controlling, and possibly even a danger to his partner (if he feels - rightly or wrongly - that some boundary has been crossed.
I'd consider telling his partner about the trackers in this case, because he is at risk both from violence and STIs that your friend may contract during his cheating.
In the United States, I believe that this is illegal. (Uncertain if it's federal or state jurisdiction.)
Just start there.
Then beyond that, it is massively unethical and the case with your friend just shows how the most insecure, jealous and paranoid people are usually the cheaters. They assume, I guess, since they can't keep their behavior on the up and up, then no one can. And they are wrong, and toxic with it.
That's a massive invasion of privacy and honestly, I'm pretty sure that if you were to tell any new woman in your life that you've engaged in such spying in the past, she'd run right out the door and you'd never hear about her again.
This is maniac stuff. And not to dunk on your friend but... I think you really shouldn't take relationship advice from them. They seem to have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.
Also, I don't think this should effect the responses to the first question, but it is also worth noting that these two are in an agreed upon strictly monogamous relationship. They both profess to be of the jealous and possessive type that couldn't tolerate extramarital partners. But they are a definite mismatch in libidos. The husband is satisfied with sex as rarely as once a month while my my friend I feel is on the verge of having a sex addiction. This has him seeking out new sexual partners on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. There have even been a few short term romantic relationships on the side over the 5 years I have known him.Obviously there's a lot of hypocrisy here.
Wait, so they're in a strictly monogamous relationship, but your friend is constantly cheating on his partner in addition to secretly monitoring him? Your friend is projecting his own lack of trustworthiness onto his unsuspecting partner.
Okay, this is separate from my other discussion, where I'm dealing with the end of a relationship and partner who has moved on to someone else. I was recently talking to a friend about my situation and he recommended that I plant a tracking device on my partner. I thought that was not great advice since I already know enough about what's going on and I probably don't need to know more. But I was further to surprised that to hear that without suspecting anything has long had tracking devices installed in his husband's car, concealed into a backpack that he purchased for him, and a stealth tracking program on his phone. Even though relationships require trust and trustworthiness, this seems like a huge overstep of privacy to me. I was curious what everyone thinks here?
Also, I don't think this should effect the responses to the first question, but it is also worth noting that these two are in an agreed upon strictly monogamous relationship. They both profess to be of the jealous and possessive type that couldn't tolerate extramarital partners. But they are a definite mismatch in libidos. The husband is satisfied with sex as rarely as once a month while my my friend I feel is on the verge of having a sex addiction. This has him seeking out new sexual partners on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. There have even been a few short term romantic relationships on the side over the 5 years I have known him.Obviously there's a lot of hypocrisy here.
I would advise against criminal activities. Felony convictions can have a bad impact on your life.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Trust is one of the most important requirements for a successful relationship. Those Apple AirTags should be banned, they have become too often involved in crime. My wife's Outback has an App that allows me to get the location on my phone, whether it's on the road or parked. I often use it to see when she's almost home if I'm cooking dinner and want to time it right, but never use it to see where she's going. I trust that she is where she said she would be (married 48 years).
If I suspected my spouse was cheating, I wouldn't hesitate to use such a device....legal or not. It wouldn't be found and I'd have peace of mind knowing the truth vs. lies. I know this will get the panties in a bunch for the holier-than-thou crowd but frankly, it's my life and I can do with it what I please.
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