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Old 02-26-2022, 09:10 PM
 
3 posts, read 4,746 times
Reputation: 11

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I'm not sure what happened from the time I was in my last serious relationship to now but holy ****. Dating is so hard. It just seems to be about who can get you in bed quicker and just keeping you around till something better comes then they ghost. Why can't someone be upfront? Ugh! I thought if the feeling of "like" was mutual then both parties would put effort. I also thought that if a guy knew he really likes a girl that they would definitely make a "title" of some sort by 3/4months. Maybe it's me....
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Old 03-02-2022, 06:40 AM
 
Location: The Bubble, Florida
3,429 posts, read 2,396,448 times
Reputation: 10039
Strange, in your other post in the more suitable forum, you complain that the guys tell you they want to go with the flow, and you feel relationships are built on a solid foundation of friendship.

So which is it? Do you want a boyfriend, or do you want a friend? You're sending mixed signals and playing your own kind of twisted little game.

You tell them you want to be friends. Okay so - you're friends. Friends don't plan romantic dates with each other. Friends don't feel the need to call each other every day asking "so, whaddya doin???" Friends don't feel like if they turn their phone off at night they'll miss their friend's voice. Friends don't need to label their friendship, or discuss how much they enjoy each others' company.

Maybe you should learn how to BE a friend, before telling a guy you want to build a relationship on friendship.
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Old 03-04-2022, 06:02 PM
 
627 posts, read 295,926 times
Reputation: 1150
Why not just have fun on your dates and not expect a husband/house/ring/children out of it? Probably the best way to approach dating. No guy wants all that pressure.
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Old 03-05-2022, 02:44 PM
 
581 posts, read 319,612 times
Reputation: 2283
Why should it be easy? Compatibility is not easy. If you are trying to create bfs just to be “ successful” ( picked or chosen) you aren't realistic.

The reason these men don’t call you gf nor make efforts, is because they are showing via actions, they are not for you.

Move into somebody who is, who will show via their consistent actions, they are genuinely interested.

Don't waste time thinking about the ones who aren't interested because you need the ego validation of being wanted by everybody you date once.
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Old 03-05-2022, 07:12 PM
 
1,733 posts, read 2,180,246 times
Reputation: 2238
Quote:
Originally Posted by BookNerd1987 View Post
I'm not sure what happened from the time I was in my last serious relationship to now but holy ****. Dating is so hard. It just seems to be about who can get you in bed quicker and just keeping you around till something better comes then they ghost. Why can't someone be upfront? Ugh! I thought if the feeling of "like" was mutual then both parties would put effort. I also thought that if a guy knew he really likes a girl that they would definitely make a "title" of some sort by 3/4months. Maybe it's me....
Dating has always been challenging and fruitless for me, but it seems like it’s gotten harder for everybody now. I’m hearing from people that it’s gotten worse even in the past 5-10 years. It’s been changed by a number of societal factors, including social media and dating apps.
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Old 03-05-2022, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Midwest
9,405 posts, read 11,150,657 times
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What's a "title"? US? Help me here.

Yes, dating can be hard. Life is hard. This reminds me of a guy on the radio who was talking about a Jon Voight interview a few months back. Voight was going through a very difficult stretch, he didn't know if he was going to come out the other side. I don't know if he got on his knees but he prayed, "Why is this so hard, God?"

He said he heard The Voice Of God. "It's not supposed to be easy." Yeah. That still sends chills down my spine.
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Old 03-07-2022, 01:54 PM
 
20,708 posts, read 19,351,786 times
Reputation: 8279
Quote:
Originally Posted by Special_Guest View Post
Dating has always been challenging and fruitless for me, but it seems like it’s gotten harder for everybody now. I’m hearing from people that it’s gotten worse even in the past 5-10 years. It’s been changed by a number of societal factors, including social media and dating apps.



Yeah it was pretty grim in my day. Not a dinner and a movie kind of guy....I had the most fun in those situations when I pretend to be visiting from Germany. I memorized some German poems and pretended to speak with my fiend. The excuse to break into English was that I was from Bavaria and I could not understand his Schweizerdeutsch. Before then I pretended I wanted to be a monk. Then there was the time i had my friend tell this girl I was a catatonic schizophrenic. That was fun. Even when I became less of a pia I remember wanting to do myself at Bakers square.How can people do it for years?

Last edited by gwynedd1; 03-07-2022 at 02:03 PM..
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Old 04-16-2022, 10:41 AM
 
972 posts, read 541,861 times
Reputation: 1844
Where are you looking for dates? What kind of guys are you dating?
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Old 04-16-2022, 03:15 PM
 
2,556 posts, read 2,678,192 times
Reputation: 1855
I would recommend having a talk with a early date or potential date early on. Be open to the fact that they might not have a history you like and would you be open and able to trust them to be with you properly if you're both interested in each other. Hear his perspective too. At least, if you and the other person can communicate well, even if you're not a match, you could possibly end up with a friend or a good friend if nothing more.
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Old 04-16-2022, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Flyover part of Virginia
4,232 posts, read 2,454,960 times
Reputation: 5066
-The level of rapport between men and women is at an all time low. Men and women largely do not know how to interact with each other in a harmonious way.

-Options, options, options. No matter how good you are, someone better is always just a swipe, click, call, message, or email away.

-We live in a hyper consumer society, where honor and loyalty count for nothing, and everything is disposable, including your relationships with others.

-The concept of "dating" itself is highly problematic. Your pre-20th century ancestors did not do casual "dating." Short courtships perhaps, but that is very different from endless casual "dating."
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