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I have been in my current relationship for five years now. I am feeling like I'm losing myself and finding myself feeling like I am not important in this relationship. I do everything I can to make him feel secure, loved, supported, happy... But do not get the same in return. It is causing me to re-evaluate myself-"am I good enough?" "What's wrong with me?".
I am physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I feel like I am the only one trying anymore; I am the only one working, I give up my free time for him; I give more than I have to him.
I understand my part in this situation-I've partially created this for myself (due to past toxic relationships), but now I feel as though staying with him is chipping away at my self-worth.
I am a simple soul who just wants to have a happy and peaceful life. Maybe I need to walk a new path???
Have you told him this? People aren't mind readers.
And yes, if this is how you feel, and you've expressed it and nothing has changed, it's time to move on. Better alone and happy, than being with someone and miserable.
Look at it this way; there's nothing holding you to this relationship: no marriage papers, wedding vows, nothing. You're free to walk. And you have the financial means to do it.
BTDT. One of the best things I ever heard that (finally) got me moving forward was:
If you're always gonna do what you always did, then you're always gonna get what you always got.
Stop doing what you are doing. You will lose the relationship, most likely, but you will come to know what a good thing that is.
The answer to the last part of your thread title is YES. Move on, and if any little voices in your head tell you that you are unimportant, pretend they are mice, pick them up by the tail, and throw them outside.
Maybe times were once good, but this just isn't working out. If he was actively looking for work, I think you'd have let us know that. What a deadbeat. There's so many other people out there. When you leave him, then maybe he'll change but he needs this wake up call. Once you leave, don't go back. Keep it platonic in public places at the most since you spent so much time with him.
Sounds like it's time for you to move on, if he can't meet you half way, then you should move on. This guy is clearly not into you, like you are into him. He's probably not capable of love and giving and receiving, some people are like that you know.
He is just not that into you. But he is comfortable with the situation because you are supporting him in every way possible. He realizes this so he is not going to rock the boat and lose his comfortable living situation. What will he do without you? Probably will have to support himself. If he has to (is forced to because you stop)support himself will he want to spend time with you?
At the very least stop pandering to him on your free time.
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