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My cousin who in his sixties told me how disappointed he is with his wife/marriage. He's been married for more than 30 years. Twenty five years into his marriage he found his wife had kept letters from her first love (HS and college relationship) while they were in college 25 years ago under the bed. Then a couple years ago he found she had emailed her first love to find out if he was coming to their HS reunion after not having communicated with him for 45 years, he says she must still want to see him really, really want to see him badly to do that. He feels betrayed because she saved the email and hid it in a folder. Didn't know what to tell him but to hang in there and his wife must live in the past.
The girl I mentioned also kept all those mementos of our relationship in a box. Not only that, but she claimed to have dashed into her burning apartment to save them. I wonder how her two husbands felt about that.
The girl I mentioned also kept all those mementos of our relationship in a box. Not only that, but she claimed to have dashed into her burning apartment to save them. I wonder how her two husbands felt about that.
not sure what the purpose of saving those mementos for decades are after you've been married to someone forever. Maybe take them out and read them on occasion? People sometime maintain lifelong emotional attachments to others even if they're no longer in their lives I guess. Sure can't help the marriage to do that but who knows.
First love??? I’ve been with my wife over 30 years....first love is a very long time ago. No I do not think about that. If I saw her I would not recognize her, I have not seen her since the late 1980s.
I can’t imagine living in the past on the level some people seem to do it on. Pinning for a 34 year old dead relationship seems so outlandish to me, not to mention disrespectful to my wife.
Pining for a long-ago love, hardly. Pining for my long-ago self maybe, and the intensity of life back then (and then coming back to reality by remembering how painful it was).
But I think fondly of the first two women I loved. We had some good times, and I feel as though I became an adult with them. We might have been clumsy, but not selfish.
There's also a third woman that I was attracted to, and I think it was mutual. But something traumatic happened in her life--I never learned the details--and I would have tried to stay friends, but we weren't living near each other and I was committed to one of the two aforementioned ladies at the time, so it lapsed. Then decades later, when the internet became available, I searched on her name and found that she'd died at age 30. I think of her occasionally and feel sad. But time only travels in one direction.
First love??? I’ve been with my wife over 30 years....first love is a very long time ago. No I do not think about that. If I saw her I would not recognize her, I have not seen her since the late 1980s.
I can’t imagine living in the past on the level some people seem to do it on. Pinning for a 34 year old dead relationship seems so outlandish to me, not to mention disrespectful to my wife.
My question was about thinking fondly of, not pining for, a youthful first love.
My question was about thinking fondly of, not pining for, a youthful first love.
Apparently some think so fondly of them they go out of their way to find them on the internet and bring them back in their lives. They don't even know them after all those years, people change a lot with time so it's almost like calling in a stranger. I think it is an ego thing and there's a lot more to it than just "catching up".
Apparently some think so fondly of them they go out of their way to find them on the internet and bring them back in their lives. They don't even know them after all those years, people change a lot with time so it's almost like calling in a stranger. I think it is an ego thing and there's a lot more to it than just "catching up".
Again, my question for 50+ men was "Do you ever think fondly of your first youthful love?" I asked nothing about pining way, finding the person, catching up, rekindling a romance, ego boosting, etc. Just a simple "Do you ever think fondly?"
Pining for a long-ago love, hardly. Pining for my long-ago self maybe, and the intensity of life back then (and then coming back to reality by remembering how painful it was).
But I think fondly of the first two women I loved. We had some good times, and I feel as though I became an adult with them. We might have been clumsy, but not selfish.
There's also a third woman that I was attracted to, and I think it was mutual. But something traumatic happened in her life--I never learned the details--and I would have tried to stay friends, but we weren't living near each other and I was committed to one of the two aforementioned ladies at the time, so it lapsed. Then decades later, when the internet became available, I searched on her name and found that she'd died at age 30. I think of her occasionally and feel sad. But time only travels in one direction.
Thanks for your informative post and for answering my question.
Yes, I've thought fondly of her. Looking back, I doubt we would have been a good couple. I doubt we would have made it to the alter. Nothing against her, but just an observation of where we differed. But if I were the man telling the story in Dan Fogelberg's "Auld Lang Sine," she'd be the woman.
Last edited by Masamune; 04-10-2022 at 12:42 PM..
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