girl texts less and less because of studying and work
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i've been talking to this girl outside my country for almost a whole year. the reason i know her is because she dated my friend for a few months but they broke up. both my friend and her know that i love her and both seem to be fine with it. i know it sounds wrong but i told him that i fell in love with her and i cant help it.
we've always texted each other during the day with i love you, good morning, cute and funny memes on instagram and also selfies and videos of ourselves, played games, talked on the phone and more.
few months ago she was very very sick and missed many courses from her university class but she recovered and started studying more but she still texted everyday.
later on she told me that she will start working at a shop and told me that she will be busy and will try her best to talk like we always did. ever since she started working our texts have become very bland and we barely text twice a day. she doesnt respond in the same way to my love texts and flirty stuff like she used to before and i asked her, and she said its because she is busy and she's trying her best. she doesnt even say good morning and all that and she only reads my instagram messages and almost never respondinds to any of the cute things i send her.
she still sometimes sends good looking selfies of herself and everytime i complement her she very rarely responds to it, not even a ''thx''. she was way more thankful before and even complemented me back.
she will still text me if i havent texted for a whole day and wonder what happened to me. since according to her she is very shy in real life and she has only me and another girl as people she talks to. she says that she has no guy friends because she used to have but they annoyed her and she pushed them away and she says that she loves me more than the dudes that live in her country and she loves talking to me more than anyone. ive told her that im romantically interested in her and she knows and appreciates it. i should trust her because the things she tells me very often turn out to be true.
im just here to ask all of you, can it be possible to be that busy that you completely change the way you text someone you say that you love and sometimes not respond for almost a day? or is it possible that she isn't interested anymore, am i being very paranoid or could there be something else?
im just confused since im extremely busy myself but i always find the time to text her at any time, any day.
i love this girl very much but sometimes i think to myself, am i overthinking stuff because i love her too much and maybe i should calm down, or is there something that i don't know about?
This is a woman in an entirely different country, I am assuming you have never met? You said your friend dated her, did he actually meet her and go on dates or was all of this a long distance telephone thing?
She may be busy and possibly just doesn't have time to do all the texting and stuff. I does sound though, that she is a little indifferent towards you now. She can take it or leave it, doesn't matter. With that being said, I would back off and see if she contacts you. If not, you have your answer. You would be so much happier just dating someone in your own area, where you can see, touch, feel and have a real relationship. I would move on. Good luck.
Have you ever dated someone in real life? If you have, I can't imagine how you can consider someone you have never met your girlfriend. I suggest you start dating in real life. Someone you can actually touch. Otherwise you are essentially having a relationship with your imagination. Right now it's imaging why she's not texting you as much. Is she really busy or .....? I hope she actually has a real life and not just this long distance pretend relationship.
I don't think that's fair. I think it's a relationship, but it's not the same as face to face, in real life.
Now, I do think that it's hard to maintain a long distance thing...but it's done, often, and I don't think it's fair to say their feelings aren't real.
It's true but this isn't a loved one, not a romance, not a dating relationship. This is a complete stranger who he's been acting out a fantasy with through an online game, as his friend did with her first.
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Not what he said. He said they MET through a game. I'm guessing they've face timed since they met, and that they DO know what the other looks like.
Well, OP, since she keeps trying to reassure you in response to your doubts, maybe you should try being supportive of her as she works through this busy period, instead of being insecure or suspicious. It must be difficult for her to make up her schoolwork after a long illness, and also to keep a job. Why not try a completely different tack, and tell her you admire her for all the effort she's putting into her schoolwork and job? See what happens. See how she responds.
You should trust her at all times, until she gives you reason not to. IMO, being busy and not stroking your ego multiple times a day doesn't count.
That's what I'm mainly picking up here.
She's trying to catch up on school work, AND she's working a job. Sounds like she is extremely busy. How about relaxing, and encouraging her, instead of peppering her with your insecurity?
IMHO, someone who finds herself prioritizing what she must do to build a better life for herself isn't an awful person. People face these choices all the time. OP how positive would you feel about someone who ignores her responsibilities just to text back and forth with you all day? Not everyone spends their time staring at their phone hoping for another line of text! How old are you anyway? Maybe you need to think about that for yourself.
no there is nothing to do with money, its just we like to talk to each other and we are young anyway so there is no marriage.
my friend met her through a video game, she wasnt even trying to date anyone but she dated him first and then they broke up, and before they broke up we were already talking as just friends but then we started flirty talking and all that and my friend knows this. she even said that she wants nothing from me besides meeting me and just to know eachother, i really feel like this girl is genuine since she comes from a more conservative family.
OK, so your example may be different, but trust me, people in other countries are often so much poorer than people who live in first-world countries and that in itself can be motivation to deceive, as can the hope of getting a citizenship (which is a thing most often quoted by others as warnings). In my case, I decided to move to that third-world country and so there was no possibility of that citizenship being a motivator, although that was not the reason I moved there.
As I said, I have no idea if this scenario applies in your case, but one thing I would warn everyone on here, is that we have no idea just how much a different culture will affect the ability to communicate and to get along in a relationship. I have seen this over 15 years and I still find things which are totally different from the way I was raised and still surprise me. Also, third-world countries are probably 20 years behind first-world countries in some aspects - particularly in attitudes to certain things. I know I am generalising, but just take the essence of my warnings rather than the details.
When I was dating online with girls from other countries, I had a list of priorities which were game-changers for me. I then found out how people felt about different things which mattered most to me. I asked these questions at different times over the course of the online relationship, the point being to see if the answers radically changed over time. In this way I could weed out the ones who were telling lies or not being totally truthful. Not 100% effective but some way towards it.
If i were her i'd be asking why you haven't come to meet me yet! Don't you love me? Why don't you take the time and effort then? What is your excuse?
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