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Yes I make around 80k a year so it's not like I'm working a low paying job and I can't afford to live on my own. Just living with my grandma I will bebale to save alot faster
Yes I make around 80k a year so it's not like I'm working a low paying job and I can't afford to live on my own. Just living with my grandma I will bebale to save alot faster
Well.
If you make that much at age 35 (or any age), then not many will view you as a 'loser' at least not in the way you mean it.
However, some women will question your risk taking as compatible to theirs.
If I were a woman meeting a 30 something man who lived with family, I would be interested in how it came to be and that makes a difference. If the man was with his parents and had never left home that is different than a guy who has successfully lived independently deciding to temporarily move with a family member to save up for an investment like a home, while pulling his weight paying them rent and helping out. I'd think that was just fine but if a healthy, well employed man had never left his momma it would be a grand red flag.
Also the attitude about it, if they are are open about it and not defensive. When I lived at home for a while as an adult I explained it to others, no problem, but some people get really defensive or kind of hostile about it and it isn't a good look.
Yes I make around 80k a year so it's not like I'm working a low paying job and I can't afford to live on my own. Just living with my grandma I will bebale to save alot faster
okay, then make it worth it and save up as much as possible.
There is a big difference of being middle aged and STILL living with your parents because you cannot support yourself and someone who earns a living but temporarily moved to their relative to help them out. If any women do not understand that, you should not want to date them anyway.
I feel like a loser. I have lived on my own before but got tired of renting so my grandma let me live with her so I can save money on a downpayment on a house. I'm not a freeloader I pay her 500 dollars a month for bills, and I help her out since she has Arthirtis in her hands. I know this is a temporary situation but i still feel like a complete loser. It would be one thing if I was 25 but I'm in my mid 30s no kids never been married and dont date becaose what woman would want to date a 35 year old man living with his grandmother. Be honest should I feel this way?
You may want to ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Is it because of what you think others' expectations of you are? Are you happy living with your grandmother? Is she happy to have you there? If I were 80 years old and had my grandchild living with me, I'd be happy for the help and the extra cash. Not to mention the company. Only you can answer your own question, but I wouldn't let what I think other people think make me feel down on myself. BTW, she sounds very healthy to just have arthritis in her hands. God bless her.
If I were a young woman I would think a man like you is sensitive and compassionate.
With the cost of living these days there are many younger people moving in with parents and grandparents. The only ones who need to approve are the ones involved.
You may want to ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Is it because of what you think others' expectations of you are? Are you happy living with your grandmother? Is she happy to have you there? If I were 80 years old and had my grandchild living with me, I'd be happy for the help and the extra cash. Not to mention the company. Only you can answer your own question, but I wouldn't let what I think other people think make me feel down on myself. BTW, she sounds very healthy to just have arthritis in her hands. God bless her.
If I were a young woman I would think a man like you is sensitive and compassionate.
With the cost of living these days there are many younger people moving in with parents and grandparents. The only ones who need to approve are the ones involved.
She does get very weak and tries to do to much. I help her out alot especially with yard work
A friend of mine's dad live with his mom his whole life, yet that didn't stop him from dating. He converted a room in the basement to what he called "the saloon", a bar/entertainment space. Seriously. Eventually, he inherited the house, and my friend told me, horrified, that his dad was putting the same fake wood panelling that he had in the "saloon" all over the house! This was a beautiful older home in one of Berkeley, CA's highest-end neighborhoods, and his dad was covering it with fake wood paneling! Oh, and unlike you, the dad was not steadily employed. He'd do little home-improvement projects for people, for his dating cash. Last I heard, he was into doing custom tilework.
You are NOT a loser, OP! You're saving for a house downpayment. Keep your eyes on the prize. You're lucky to score a deal like you've got. And remember--it's only temporary.
So, what's your time frame? How long do you figure it will take to get that downpayment saved up?
And, I can''t help asking--who will look after grandma when you move out? Does she have enough savings to get home health care when it becomes a necessity?
Probably about 6-12 months, and I really don't know thats what worries me when i do leave.
Probably about 6-12 months, and I really don't know thats what worries me when i do leave.
Well, she may have options. What my grandparents did, is sell their house and move into a 50+ community. And those usually have a choice of level of service: there are units for people who are independent and able to care for themselves, and there are units for people, who need some help. Eventually, they moved into a nursing home type of facility, selling their property in the 50+ community, because they were at a point, where they needed more help.
So, when you're ready to move out, you might have a talk with her about her options in the future. In fact, it might not be a bad idea, if she'd be amenable, to encourage her to put her place on the market while she's still in fairly good shape, while she can manage the move. Where are her kids; are there any other family members involved in her life, besides you? You might start researching assisted living facilities in advance of having a conversation with her about the future.
And a year isn't a long time for you to be in this situation. Certainly not long enough for you to be beating yourself up about it. I'm surprised you created this thread over a perceived issue, that's only going to last a year, if that. Why are you so down on yourself? You can't manage to go a year without dating? The chances are, that even if you did date during the year, you wouldn't find anyone you'd be compatible enough with, to want to bring home anyway. I don't know what all the fuss is about.
Enjoy the time you have with your grandmother OP. Guys like us are fortunate we have our grandmothers still around at our age. I have relatives (and even people I've met) who have said they never even got to meet their grandparents, as they were gone before they were even born.
I'm not worried at all about leaving mine. I'm on the road traveling for work all over the place for close to half the year anyway, but I'm thankful I get to enjoy my time with my grandmother when I'm free.
Well, she may have options. What my grandparents did, is sell their house and move into a 50+ community. And those usually have a choice of level of service: there are units for people who are independent and able to care for themselves, and there are units for people, who need some help. Eventually, they moved into a nursing home type of facility, selling their property in the 50+ community, because they were at a point, where they needed more help.
So, when you're ready to move out, you might have a talk with her about her options in the future. In fact, it might not be a bad idea, if she'd be amenable, to encourage her to put her place on the market while she's still in fairly good shape, while she can manage the move. Where are her kids; are there any other family members involved in her life, besides you? You might start researching assisted living facilities in advance of having a conversation with her about the future.
And a year isn't a long time for you to be in this situation. Certainly not long enough for you to be beating yourself up about it. I'm surprised you created this thread over a perceived issue, that's only going to last a year, if that. Why are you so down on yourself? You can't manage to go a year without dating? The chances are, that even if you did date during the year, you wouldn't find anyone you'd be compatible enough with, to want to bring home anyway. I don't know what all the fuss is about.
I have sisters younger than me with kids and husbands and I feel like a failure. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but it's hard not to.
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Oh, and unlike you, the dad was not steadily employed. He'd do little home-improvement projects for people, for his dating cash. Last I heard, he was into doing custom tilework. 
