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My MIL is moving from Long Island to Grenada. She is relying heavily on my wife to help her with this move. My wife is also being groomed to take over as CEO of her company, so she currently works long hours from home and once a week in office. My MIL (Mother-In-Law) is emptying her home to have the items and her vehicle shipped to Grenada. This past Saturday my MIL calls us to inform us that our son (who is 32 years old and still lives at home with us) left a few boxes of Clothes and collectible toys in her attic. My wife tells her that we will come by and pick these things up during the week (we live in Westchester County about an hour away from where my MIL lives). My wife then informs me that due to the meetings she has this week for work that she would not be able to take time off to travel to help me pick up our son's things. I told her that I would simply go with our son to pick up his things from his Grandmother's house. My son only works 3 days a week (Mon, Wed, and Friday). So I tell him we will go Tuesday Morning. He tells me he has plans and I tell him look since you don't have a car or means to get there and your Grandmother needs to empty her house you need to go and do your part by removing the things she allowed you to store in her attic. I also tell him that I would rather spend my day doing something else because I'm retired. I tell my son simply that he was coming with me on Tuesday morning to get his things and there will be no further discussion on the matter. Five minutes later my wife storms into our room and tells me that I was wrong for speaking to him that way and that I should go get the things on Thursday. I tell her I have plans for that day and that I already told him when we were going. My wife then said that I will be making that trip alone and walks off. I now have had enough so I got in the car Sunday and went out to Long Island and picked up all his stuff. Early this morning I took his things to Good Will and left them there. On Tuesday I will spend the day at the range. Did I communicate my feelings, and why could my wife either stay out of it, or at least acknowledge my feelings? I did what I was supposed to do by telling her that I didn't want to do this in the first place, yet I agreed due to her work schedule. Was it too much to expect my son who owns the stuff to help clear out his Grandmother's house when I said we were going to?
Your son is 32. He’s an adult. He should’ve gotten the items or they get tossed. Although you said he has no car, why can’t he borrow yours?
I think your wife was wrong to get upset at you but you were wrong to go over there anyway and give the items to Goodwill. I think all 3 of you have things to work on, honestly.
Your son is 32. He’s an adult. He should’ve gotten the items or they get tossed. Although you said he has no car, why can’t he borrow yours?
I think your wife was wrong to get upset at you but you were wrong to go over there anyway and give the items to Goodwill. I think all 3 of you have things to work on, honestly.
The reason my son doesn't have a license is because he suffers from Epilepsy. He has an implant which has prevented him from having a seizure for the last 2 years and now he was able to get his learner's permit.
Your son should have gone with you. His things, his responsibility. If he was not willing to do that, I would have told Grandmother that it was okay to throw the items out or donate them as you have.
The reason my son doesn't have a license is because he suffers from Epilepsy. He has an implant which has prevented him from having a seizure for the last 2 years and now he was able to get his learner's permit.
Kind of an important detail to leave out. How did your son and wife respond to you disposing of his personal property? In some jurisdictions, that could be considered stealing from someone who has constructive possession of the items in question.
Kind of an important detail to leave out. How did your son and wife respond to you disposing of his personal property? In some jurisdictions, that could be considered stealing from someone who has constructive possession of the items in question.
They don't know I went out to pick up his things yesterday. When I got to my MIL's house she already left for work (she still works until they move) and her husband let me in. As far as the personal property goes Both my wife and son said I would have to go out there to pick the things up. They never told me what to do after I picked the things up, so if my son has the $$ he could take me to small claims court if he decides to. I'm not worried about that.
Did you ask your son what his plans were? Were they something more important than you going to the range? Could you have gone to the range on Tuesday? A few questions and some discussion might have come off better than an ultimatum. It didn't work for you anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440
My MIL is moving from Long Island to Grenada. She is relying heavily on my wife to help her with this move. My wife is also being groomed to take over as CEO of her company, so she currently works long hours from home and once a week in office. My MIL (Mother-In-Law) is emptying her home to have the items and her vehicle shipped to Grenada. This past Saturday my MIL calls us to inform us that our son (who is 32 years old and still lives at home with us) left a few boxes of Clothes and collectible toys in her attic. My wife tells her that we will come by and pick these things up during the week (we live in Westchester County about an hour away from where my MIL lives). My wife then informs me that due to the meetings she has this week for work that she would not be able to take time off to travel to help me pick up our son's things. I told her that I would simply go with our son to pick up his things from his Grandmother's house. My son only works 3 days a week (Mon, Wed, and Friday). So I tell him we will go Tuesday Morning. He tells me he has plans and I tell him look since you don't have a car or means to get there and your Grandmother needs to empty her house you need to go and do your part by removing the things she allowed you to store in her attic. I also tell him that I would rather spend my day doing something else because I'm retired. I tell my son simply that he was coming with me on Tuesday morning to get his things and there will be no further discussion on the matter. Five minutes later my wife storms into our room and tells me that I was wrong for speaking to him that way and that I should go get the things on Thursday. I tell her I have plans for that day and that I already told him when we were going. My wife then said that I will be making that trip alone and walks off. I now have had enough so I got in the car Sunday and went out to Long Island and picked up all his stuff. Early this morning I took his things to Good Will and left them there. On Tuesday I will spend the day at the range. Did I communicate my feelings, and why could my wife either stay out of it, or at least acknowledge my feelings? I did what I was supposed to do by telling her that I didn't want to do this in the first place, yet I agreed due to her work schedule. Was it too much to expect my son who owns the stuff to help clear out his Grandmother's house when I said we were going to?
Did you ask your son what his plans were? Were they something more important than you going to the range? Could you have gone to the range on Tuesday? A few questions and some discussion might have come off better than an ultimatum. It didn't work for you anyway.
I was the one being asked to do this favor, so what I wanted to do was indeed way more important than his plans were. Sometimes a person has to understand that they can't choose to do things their way when they need other people's help. At least that's how I was raised and thought I raised my children the same way. The guy who owns the car and has the time should make the rules. As far as I'm concerned the condition (items left at my MIL's house that she is trying to remove, so she can clean the house out to move to her new home) was corrected.
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