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Here's an idea. If you want to understand what it's like to be the center of male attention simply because you have the anatomy they crave, make yourself a profile on Grindr and enjoy all the attention you feel you are lacking.
Not this crap again... *sigh*
LOL... you really think it's simple like that?
The gay community is ruthless when it comes to this - much worse than the straight gang. There are PLENTY of LGBTQ+ that don't wallow in attention for a myriad of reasons.
Im a 41 year old straight white male who has dated this woman who I feel is using me for money. We have been dating for over 3.5 years.
This woman is 37 years old.
About me. I have aspergers and struggle meeting woman. I'm college educated live alone in a 1 bedroom apartment and drive a car.
About this woman. She has lupus and aspergers. She didn't go to college. She is on ssi and lives with her parents in magnolia seattle. She doesn't have a drivers license.
I feel that this woman doesn't love me but is only with me to use me for free car rides and free movies and free restaurant meals.
This woman always lies to me that she has no money.
My feelings are hurt!!!
What should I do??
Plain and simple: Stop going out with this woman.
Your feeing's are hurt? I'm sure they are but being treated like a doormat needs to stop.
Women aren't going to line up to be some warm body. They sense desperation.
I didn’t say they would. I’m simply pointing out that there’s a huge divide between being able to get a date/message (even if 90% are bad) and being COMPLETELY isolated.
I didn’t say they would. I’m simply pointing out that there’s a huge divide between being able to get a date/message (even if 90% are bad) and being COMPLETELY isolated.
You have to acknowledge a lot of these lonely men you keep referring to aren’t trying very hard, or maybe even at all, maybe barking up the wrong tree? Or paying for everything and wonder if they’re paying for everything?
Look at the threads in this sub forum: “which of these women should I ask out” “does this girl like me?” “What was that look about?” A lot are lonely due to their own inaction. They don’t just get a date or a message, there has to be some well intentioned effort.
At least any lonely women complaining are sometimes in that position because they strongly believe it’s the man’s role to make the first move.
It would be the world's biggest wallflower convention.
I tend to agree with you!
Too many people complain, and yet have NO CLUE as to what they may be doing 'wrong'.
Her: If someone likes me, they'll approach me.
Him: I can't approach them. What if they don't like me, and I get turned down?
Meanwhile, they BOTH sit wondering, wishing, hoping, praying.
When I was in high school, I was the "mousy-looking-glasses-wearing-quasi-smart-girl-in-the-back-of-the-class." Long, straight, horse-brown hair, parted down the middle, with glasses to boot.
The first week of college, the local hair salon hosted an on-campus "Hair-a-Thon" for free...that I gladly responded to. The hair stylist gave me bangs (I gave her permission to 'do with me what you will'), and she cut my hair into a more flattering style. I also got contact lenses that same day.
O.
M.
GEEEEE!
Sometimes, just a small change like that can mean the WORLD. My friend said to the "new" me, "You look like a god-dang MODEL!"
I never felt like a 'model'...nor did I get model-like attention. But I definitely got MORE attention than I did while being the mousy-looking-glasses-wearing-quasi-smart-girl-in-the-back-of-the-class"!
All because, some simple 'snip' of the scissors...
You have to acknowledge a lot of these lonely men you keep referring to aren’t trying very hard, or maybe even at all, maybe barking up the wrong tree? Or paying for everything and wonder if they’re paying for everything?
Look at the threads in this sub forum: “which of these women should I ask out” “does this girl like me?” “What was that look about?” A lot are lonely due to their own inaction. They don’t just get a date or a message, there has to be some well intentioned effort.
At least any lonely women complaining are sometimes in that position because they strongly believe it’s the man’s role to make the first move.
Sometimes.
I think it’s pretty common to hear that men who can’t get dates aren’t doing enough. Being themselves just isn’t enough — they need to do this, or that, or this and stop doing that and this…and dress better…learn more interesting hobbies, make more money, lift more weights, have their own house, a nice car, learn how to talk to women, etc, etc. Meanwhile, a woman of equal looks could sit on her mom’s couch all day everyday in sweats eating bon bons and she will get attention.
I didn’t say they would. I’m simply pointing out that there’s a huge divide between being able to get a date/message (even if 90% are bad) and being COMPLETELY isolated.[
The point is, that there isn't a "huge divide". You, or other guys may be feeling this way because you're guys. Yet, you have NO IDEA how many women are in the same boat.
You don't get to say that it's "worse" for men, or even "worse" for women. Unless you're able to 'walk in someone else's shoes', you've got no business saying how *they* have it 'better' or 'worse' than you, as a group.
Too many factors involved. You said yourself that 95% of the guys online basically 'just' want sex. Those 95% don't get to complain, because most of them already know that MOST women, don't 'just' want sex.
As for the other 5%...what's their deal? Do they think, "Hey! Take me as I am!" even though they're stuffed in their parent's basement, playing video games most of the time? That they haven't taken a shower in weeks? That their idea of 'connecting' with a 'hot' woman is to make a first approach by saying, "hey..."?
A woman can put up a profile that says, "I'm college-educated, work as an IT consultant for 12 years, love outdoor activities, like boating, and indoor activities like movies and bowling..."..
...and all she gets is "hey.."?
Sorry, but for the 'lonely guys' out there, MOST of them could STEP UP THEIR GAME.
I think it’s pretty common to hear that men who can’t get dates aren’t doing enough. Being themselves just isn’t enough — they need to do this, or that, or this and stop doing that and this…and dress better…learn more interesting hobbies, make more money, lift more weights, have their own house, a nice car, learn how to talk to women, etc, etc. Meanwhile, a woman of equal looks could sit on her mom’s couch all day everyday in sweats eating bon bons and she will get attention.
What solution do you propose? For women to be less picky? Lower their standards? Approach men and ask them out instead of waiting?
When women do lower their standards out of desperation, or kindness, and that ends poorly for them, say they end up in a relationship with a criminal, an abuser, an addict, an unemployed couch potato, possibly ends up with some kids by him as well.
Then if she asks for help or advice with the mess she finds herself in, she gets shamed for having a broken picker, for being desperate, for being easy, for liking bad boys, etc.
If a woman pursues a guy and gets pumped and dumped then she gets the blame for that and shamed for being too easy.
I think in general women are more vulnerable and have more at stake in interactions with men. That is why we must be picky and why having low standards often ends poorly.
I am sorry that there are men who feel lonely and have never experienced love, romance, or sex, but just sitting and complaining and saying the world needs to change to accomodate such men, and women need to start pursuing these men, that solution just will not work on this planet.
As of now, the only solution is for guys like this to improve themselves and find out what to do to become more attractive to women. And also have the testicles to approach women, with the social skills to do it in a way that's not off-putting.
The point is, that there isn't a "huge divide". You, or other guys may be feeling this way because you're guys. Yet, you have NO IDEA how many women are in the same boat.
You don't get to say that it's "worse" for men, or even "worse" for women. Unless you're able to 'walk in someone else's shoes', you've got no business saying how *they* have it 'better' or 'worse' than you, as a group.
Too many factors involved. You said yourself that 95% of the guys online basically 'just' want sex. Those 95% don't get to complain, because most of them already know that MOST women, don't 'just' want sex.
As for the other 5%...what's their deal? Do they think, "Hey! Take me as I am!" even though they're stuffed in their parent's basement, playing video games most of the time? That they haven't taken a shower in weeks? That their idea of 'connecting' with a 'hot' woman is to make a first approach by saying, "hey..."?
A woman can put up a profile that says, "I'm college-educated, work as an IT consultant for 12 years, love outdoor activities, like boating, and indoor activities like movies and bowling..."..
...and all she gets is "hey.."?
I’m sure there are women in the same boat. But that boat is filled with many more men than women.
I think I do have a right to state my opinion that being completely isolated from the dating world is worse than not being completely isolated. There’s plenty of men who have no concept of “dating”.
I didn’t say 95% of men online just want sex…I was saying that most women can still find dates even if 95% of them are just attempts to have sex. There’s a little hope there. The men that can’t even have a message replied to by anyone — that’s a different position.
I think it’s pretty common to hear that men who can’t get dates aren’t doing enough. Being themselves just isn’t enough — they need to do this, or that, or this and stop doing that and this…and dress better…learn more interesting hobbies, make more money, lift more weights, have their own house, a nice car, learn how to talk to women, etc, etc. Meanwhile, a woman of equal looks could sit on her mom’s couch all day everyday in sweats eating bon bons and she will get attention.
That's so bogus. Unless you've BEEN a woman who sits on mom's couch all day in sweats, eating bon-bons, you have NO IDEA what kind of 'hits' that kind of woman might get.
And, if she DOES get any 'hits', they may be for the wrong reasons.
Sorry, but 'hits' for SEX don't count. Maybe in YOUR world.
Not in HERS.
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