Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What solution do you propose? For women to be less picky? Lower their standards? Approach men and ask them out instead of waiting?
When women do lower their standards out of desperation, or kindness, and that ends poorly for them, say they end up in a relationship with a criminal, an abuser, an addict, an unemployed couch potato, possibly ends up with some kids by him as well.
Then if she asks for help or advice with the mess she finds herself in, she gets shamed for having a broken picker, for being desperate, for being easy, for liking bad boys, etc.
If a woman pursues a guy and gets pumped and dumped then she gets the blame for that and shamed for being too easy.
I think in general women are more vulnerable and have more at stake in interactions with men. That is why we must be picky and why having low standards often ends poorly.
I am sorry that there are men who feel lonely and have never experienced love, romance, or sex, but just sitting and complaining and saying the world needs to change to accomodate such men, and women need to start pursuing these men, that solution just will not work on this planet.
As of now, the only solution is for guys like this to improve themselves and find out what to do to become more attractive to women. And also have the testicles to approach women, with the social skills to do it in a way that's not off-putting.
Thank you, my question as well. We seem to be circling the drain on how it’s wimmenz fault once again, “sitting on the sofa eating bonbons” and enjoying their good fortune at romance.
What solution do you propose? For women to be less picky? Lower their standards? Approach men and ask them out instead of waiting?
When women do lower their standards out of desperation, or kindness, and that ends poorly for them, say they end up in a relationship with a criminal, an abuser, an addict, an unemployed couch potato, possibly ends up with some kids by him as well.
Then if she asks for help or advice with the mess she finds herself in, she gets shamed for having a broken picker, for being desperate, for being easy, for liking bad boys, etc.
If a woman pursues a guy and gets pumped and dumped then she gets the blame for that and shamed for being too easy.
I think in general women are more vulnerable and have more at stake in interactions with men. That is why we must be picky and why having low standards often ends poorly.
I am sorry that there are men who feel lonely and have never experienced love, romance, or sex, but just sitting and complaining and saying the world needs to change to accomodate such men, and women need to start pursuing these men, that solution just will not work on this planet.
As of now, the only solution is for guys like this to improve themselves and find out what to do to become more attractive to women. And also have the testicles to approach women, with the social skills to do it in a way that's not off-putting.
I don’t propose a solution. Dating is what it is and people have been conditioned to want what they want.
I’m sure there are women in the same boat. But that boat is filled with many more men than women.
Again, you can't say that for certain. You JUST DON'T KNOW, except what *you're* used to.
Quote:
I think I do have a right to state my opinion that being completely isolated from the dating world is worse than not being completely isolated. There’s plenty of men who have no concept of “dating”.
Yes, you have a right to your opinion. But your opinion is just that...your opinion. Not fact.
Quote:
I didn’t say 95% of men online just want sex…I was saying that most women can still find dates even if 95% of them are just attempts to have sex. There’s a little hope there.
Sez WHO? So, we got 5% of the men on dating sites who want actual relationships. What are THEY like?
Quote:
The men that can’t even have a message replied to by anyone — that’s a different position.
And do you think that women don't have the same experience?
Seriously, you gotta stop thinking in terms of "us" vs. "them".
Thank you, my question as well. We seem to be circling the drain on how it’s wimmenz fault once again, “sitting on the sofa eating bonbons” and enjoying their good fortune at romance.
You’re framing reality as an attempt at attacking the wimminzzz. My explanations aren’t an attempt at attacking any gender.
And as I said, romance may hard to find regardless of gender. But it’s a little easier and there’s more hope when there are actually people to interact with.
Again, you can't say that for certain. You JUST DON'T KNOW, except what *you're* used to.
Yes, you have a right to your opinion. But your opinion is just that...your opinion. Not fact.
Sez WHO? So, we got 5% of the men on dating sites who want actual relationships. What are THEY like?
And do you think that women don't have the same experience?
Seriously, you gotta stop thinking in terms of "us" vs. "them".
I won’t do the line by line stuff — too lazy with online “debates” at this point in my online career, haha.
No I don’t have a scientific study. So yes, I’m stating how I see the world.
Discussions about such topics as relationships inherently come down to opinions.
However, I will say you can find many experiments people have done with online dating where women get many times more replies despite having seemingly similar things to say.
Why would you assume 95% of men in general on dating sites just want sex?
Yes, I’m sure some women do. However, in general women will get many more messages when it comes to online dating. An average women will be bombarded. An average man may get no messages. The disparity in messages will hold true for below average men and women too.
This isn’t a grudge match or a us vs them motivated discussion.
But the thing is — those guys I know will take a date in a second from most of those women. It’s not like they are being super picky. A guy that wants to experience love and sex will go for just about any warm body. They’ve never been wanted by a woman. Never had one like them in person, message them online or respond to any message they’ve sent. Their lives have truly been an emotional desert other than maybe love from parents/siblings.
We used to have a guy come on here, always with a different user name, and always eventually getting kicked off.
His whole schtick was that he was too ugly to get a date. But he posted a picture once...he wasn't ugly at all. Not on the outside at least. You could always tell it was him, even if he'd been 'away' for weeks, because he always touched on the same things, used the same words, etc. And he'd usually get all ramped up, and then he had a fixation on one person, and he'd start harassing her.
But do you think he saw his issues? I shrug my shoulders. It's hard to know the inner workings of complete strangers on the internet. But BECAUSE of his issues, all the women HERE figured out real quick that he had issues...and he would not be dateable. And it had nothing to do with his looks.
I honestly think that if there are men who consider themselves undateable, seek help. Let someone help figure out the roadblocks that are keeping them from the dating scene.
And stop hating on women because you can't get a date. Your hate freaks the women out, and they don't owe you their love, pity, time, or whatever.
By the way, when I say "you" I say it in a general sense. I'm not calling out any one individual. Actually, I'm not calling out anyone here.
This thread has been repeatedly hijacked. Only a handful of the more than 100 posts relate to the opening post.
Enough with the "woe is me, the world is so unfair!" discussions. The thread is not worth cleaning up nor salvaging, and it is therefore closed.
__________________
My posts as a Moderator will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS And check this out: FAQ
Moderator of Canada (and sub-fora), Illinois (and sub-fora), Indiana (and sub-fora), Caregiving, Community Chat, Fashion & Beauty, Hair Care, Games/Trivia, History, Nature, Non-romantic Relationships, Psychology, Travel, Work & Employment, Writing.
___________________________
~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
