How do seniors date? (woman, loving, older, family)
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Tell them you're considering going on an around-the-world cruise with the guy, your treat.
Yes I decided to be honest with them and kindly tell them that, I know they mean well, but to please stop asking me what I’m doing each time my gentlemen friend and I see eachother. I have never asked them when they had someone, and I will point that out. I will tell them kindly as they are great friends, and my intentions aren’t to cause a divide between us. It’s normal to have little things come up between friends and in all relationships, romantic or not. I was just feeling irritated.
I consider myself to be a "nice" person, so I mean this is the nicest way possible --
Why do you care what other people think? I'm 69, and I gave up caring about what other people think a LONG time ago, and I am a much happier person now partly because of that.
However, I said the above with the understanding that you are an intelligent woman and you are aware of all the scams that some unscrupulous, immoral and unethical people will try to pull. However, nothing you wrote raises any alarm bells with me. Just enjoy!
Besides staying in spending time together, what other interests do you share? Pretty much everyone goes out to dinner on occasion. What other things would you like to do if he was going to be out of town for, let's say two months? If you aren't around what are his interests? Does he have any friends? There's nothing wrong with staying in, but just be sure it's your preference and that you aren't just doing it for him.
How does he keep up his own place? One of the reasons I married my husband was because he was self sufficient and didn't need/want me to clean up after him and cook for him. He was a better cook than me! We were married for 30 years before he died, so I understand missing that. Just don't settle because you are trying to fill the void.
Does this man check all the boxes of what you were looking for in a relationship? As long as you aren't settling just because you want a man, don't concern yourself with what your friends think. I would suggest that you also make time to continue to do things with your friends. Don't make this man your whole world, certainly not so soon. Ask yourself who is getting the most out of the relationship - him or you? Give it at least a year before you move in together.
To be honest my friends are starting to annoy me so I started to say we went here and we went there just not to hear them. Yes I lie. Sorry. But are they putting on me what they think dating should be like. Or am I doing it wrong? Is dating different with seniors?
I might add all my friends are single women.
Any opinions?
Sure.
Your "friends" are NOT friends.
No friend would dare try to control you via guilt.
They're just acquaintances, that's all.
Friends don't "annoy", they support.
You're 68 years old. At what age do YOU tell those, that think they should control you, to "Buzz off?"
Dating may be slightly different for seniors, but not for the reasons you've described here. (Usually remaining single is preferred for widows/widowers who would lose their medical insurance that their now dead spouse provided, for example.) Along with TONS of other differences. So, call "Joe" and enjoy YOUR life. Not, the life that those acquaintances think you should have.
Take their criticisms from their source. Maybe they're afraid they're going to "lose" you to him and not have you as a friend anymore and they miss you, or maybe they're even jealous. It's a shame because they should be happy their friend is happy. Heck, I'd be all "does he have any friends?"
It's your life and you have the right to live it as you see fit. That includes how you have a relationship. If you enjoy cooking for him, I don't see why you shouldn't. He probably does things for you, too, right? Who is anyone else to say?
If you and this gentleman fall in love, what are your friends going to do, then? If you decide to remarry, what will they do then? Not come to the wedding?
My only advice is that if you want to maintain your friendships with them, continue to make time for them with "just the girls," and do a little self-check once in a while to make sure you're not going on about him all the time, like "Joe says" and "Joe thinks" etc. If they bombard you with questions and opinions on him, deflect, like, "But I want to hear how YOU'RE doing. Tell me about..." Woman to woman, I'll tell you that no matter how much we may love a man, friendships with other women are priceless. I'm a big believer in Steel Magnolias friendships.
The answer is, there is nothing special about being over 65, no special rules to follow.
The two people who like each other, are the ones to decide what to do together, depending on what they like, and can afford, to do.
Well, one thing may be different from 40+ years ago. When both people have incomes, it's more common than it used to be, for the woman to pay when she does the inviting. Men aren't automatically expected to pay for everything, the way it used to be.
However it works for them. Finding them is the hardest aspect. (or not)
Quote:
Now I met this wonderful gentleman.
We both still work and both of us will stop in June.
In the beginning he took me out to dinner a few times.
... (now) he just comes over a couple of times a week.
I fix a quick dinner. We chat and enjoy each others company, and so on.
I no longer date others and neither does he.
Any opinions?
Sounds like you've figured it out.
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