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Why would you want to deal w/ that? BE DONE. With her blunt personality, she's definitely going to say & do other things down the road that you won't like I'm pretty positive. So it's best to end it now. And for her having a PhD, I don't know why why she's crying. She may be booksmart, but doesn't seem that emotionally mature. I know I in hell wouldnn't want a person like that!
Funny how she's so, "blunt", yet so weak too (already crying for nothing). A mature person would just apologize for insulting your job and sensibly say that they probably shouldn't move forward w/ dating because it doesn't seem like they're compatible.
Another reason to not sleep w/ people so fast. How does anyone know anyone after barely 2 dates? People still don't know people after months. Must everyone have to have sex just because they're 2 consenting adults? Most people don't even know each other yet.
Overreacted? Yeah, a little bit. Your best reaction would have been to laugh it off. It sounds like you got your back up over an unintended slight and are the one who turned it into a fight.
If she is young, you could have laughed it off and then pointed out later, and very calmly, that what she said was hurtful. Maybe that would have made her more sensitive, maybe not. Maybe the relationship could have been salvaged, maybe not.
But it is over now, so no more sex for you. At some point, maybe figure out that your job is not you and it doesn't define who you are.
Your advice is to "laugh off" something you don't like in order to continue to have sex with someone you don't get along with? Anyone who'd do that reeks of desperation.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Durpie22
So I had a second date which led to sex. She is admittedly "blunt" and "tells it how it is", and as we were laying in bed she called my career meaningless and dismissively mentioned one of my job duties as if it was nothing special. I then told her that was rude, degrading, she attacked my career, and that I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my career. She immediately tried to backtrack but I told her she was now just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear and that the truth already came out. She has a PHD and has a high paying career in the medical field and comes from a rich successful family (which means nothing to me). I have a decent upper middle class career and come from a middle class to upper middle class family. Early that night I also think she had a reaction I didn't care for regarding the college I graduated from. After I said my piece I told her I was leaving (was going to spend the night) and she was crying and apologizing the whole time.
Now I'm trying to figure out if I over reacted and should ask her out again or just call it all off. There has been a decent connection between us and a physical attraction. Sex was great, but I will not date someone who looks down on my career and definitely not someone who will openly put down my career to my face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke
Overreacted? Yeah, a little bit. Your best reaction would have been to laugh it off. It sounds like you got your back up over an unintended slight and are the one who turned it into a fight.
If she is young, you could have laughed it off and then pointed out later, and very calmly, that what she said was hurtful. Maybe that would have made her more sensitive, maybe not. Maybe the relationship could have been salvaged, maybe not.
But it is over now, so no more sex for you. At some point, maybe figure out that your job is not you and it doesn't define who you are.
Did we read the same thread? She had already made one very intentional slight against the OP by the time they were in bed and then made another one ON PURPOSE. The OP is not overreacting to someone who talked down to him on purpose. I’ll bet my check she cried crocodile tears because she knew she screwed up and OP wouldn’t take it anymore.
Now I'm trying to figure out if I over reacted and should ask her out again or just call it all off. There has been a decent connection between us and a physical attraction. Sex was great, but I will not date someone who looks down on my career and definitely not someone who will openly put down my career to my face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
A second date, that is almost a one night stand. She was a disrespectful jerk this early on, not worth it. Also, red flag of crazy crying that you didn't want to stay - you don't even know each other you are strangers.
I guess I'm the only one here, but I think you might have overreacted.
At minimum, we've only heard your side of the story. Maybe she was a disrespectful jerk, or MAYBE you have thin skin, and saw something that wasn't even there. Or maybe she's just a little socially akward and said the wrong thing or said it the wrong way.
It seems to me that YOU were the one who blew up. Why didn't you calmly ask her what she meant? You went right to "I can't be with you because....".
I doubt she'd have you anyway, but next time maybe be a bit more curious and a lot less judgmental yourself.
My perspective comes from this: I'm married to someone who is my opposite in a lot of ways. Political (one of us votes D and the other is a staunch Trump Supporter, doesn't matter which is which, that's a big hurdle to overcome). We have a lot of miscommunications, but we take the time to work it out. Sure, sometimes we argue, but we also listen.
Sorry, I guess I'm in the minority, but i think you overreacted. Who knows if this was going anywhere, probably not, but you may never find out now.
You were right to leave, and you would be right to stop seeing her. Something tells me that if you went to Yale med and worked in pediatric oncology, she would have found something else to demean about you.
If you are not good enough for her now, don't expect that you ever will be good enough for her, but do expect her to hold it over your head on a regular basis.
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