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Not a good match. That's all. At least now you know what she thinks of you. Jeez, doesn't she have a filter on that mouth? This is a no-brainer. You don't just blurt out stuff like that to people.
So I had a second date which led to sex. She is admittedly "blunt" and "tells it how it is", and as we were laying in bed she called my career meaningless and dismissively mentioned one of my job duties as if it was nothing special. I then told her that was rude, degrading, she attacked my career, and that I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my career. She immediately tried to backtrack but I told her she was now just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear and that the truth already came out. She has a PHD and has a high paying career in the medical field and comes from a rich successful family (which means nothing to me). I have a decent upper middle class career and come from a middle class to upper middle class family. Early that night I also think she had a reaction I didn't care for regarding the college I graduated from. After I said my piece I told her I was leaving (was going to spend the night) and she was crying and apologizing the whole time.
Now I'm trying to figure out if I over reacted and should ask her out again or just call it all off. There has been a decent connection between us and a physical attraction. Sex was great, but I will not date someone who looks down on my career and definitely not someone who will openly put down my career to my face.
She has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Look it up on Youtube. She's gaslighting you, testing your boundaries as if you are a puppet and all she has to do is backtrack.
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
Sleeping with someone on the second date? It is NOT SAFE to sleep with strangers, it's crazy
So I had a second date which led to sex. She is admittedly "blunt" and "tells it how it is", and as we were laying in bed she called my career meaningless and dismissively mentioned one of my job duties as if it was nothing special. I then told her that was rude, degrading, she attacked my career, and that I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my career. She immediately tried to backtrack but I told her she was now just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear and that the truth already came out. She has a PHD and has a high paying career in the medical field and comes from a rich successful family (which means nothing to me). I have a decent upper middle class career and come from a middle class to upper middle class family. Early that night I also think she had a reaction I didn't care for regarding the college I graduated from. After I said my piece I told her I was leaving (was going to spend the night) and she was crying and apologizing the whole time.
Now I'm trying to figure out if I over reacted and should ask her out again or just call it all off. There has been a decent connection between us and a physical attraction. Sex was great, but I will not date someone who looks down on my career and definitely not someone who will openly put down my career to my face.
Why why why do men continue in this day and age to tell women what they do for a living??????? It's impossible to satisfy her hypergamy when social media keeps showing these fabulous lifestyles that top 1 percent men can provide. What she is doing is trying to shame you into meeting her ideal of status. You can't win. Have fun and move on.
Do you call what most people would call a job a career? What kind of school did you go to? U of Phoenix? Bob Jones?
Aren't you the guy that thought you shouldn't have to bring anything to an event because of the distance you had to drive? I think I may have to agree with the girl.
So is she going to be a long term relationship like a married couple? If yes, then this won’t work. Sounds like she is comes from a upper class family and looks down on lower class. This is a red flag.
Not sure if she’s salvageable or not. Maybe this exchange taught her a hard lesson about herself and her values.
It sounds like she is an exceptional person, in some ways. If she tries to mend the relationship, I’d give her another chance.
This is what I'm thinking. You did right to set strong boundaries and share your feelings in the very beginning. Time will tell if she will respect your boundaries and feelings. Being a PhD from a wealthy family means she might be a snob in which case she'd have a tough time readjusting. I guess it depends on whether and how much she actually cares for you. Ask yourself, were the tears real or manipulative?
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