New guy I'm seeing friends with ex wife on social media (kids, divorced)
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So I noticed this new guy I'm seeing is still friends with his ex wife on facebook. They were only married for 6 years, have no kids together and have been divorced almost 3 years, so I don't see why they would still be friends on there. I will admit I don't know how active either one of them is on there, but I would think in the course of 3 years one of them would have thought to unfriend the other. I know it's not that big of a deal, but from my experience when I've stayed friends on social media with an ex after our relationship ended it was because I still held a torch for them (I'm not currently friends with any of my exes on social media btw). I'm not saying that is what is going on here, but I guess I'm just a bit more uncomfortable with it than most because of my experience. Should I be concerned? Or is this nothing to even take think twice about?
For me, being friends with one's ex(es) either in real life or on social media doesn't strike me as odd at all. I'm friends with most of my exes, several of them are also on my FB friends list; up until his death in March, I still communicated via Messenger with my former husband.
My current partner is not FB friends with his former wife, but he *is* FB (and in real life) friends with several of the women who he dated before me including his former fiancee. I don't really think all that much about it, to be honest.
As we're in a loving, secure, committed relationship, neither my partner nor I think that much about it these days although it did give my man pause when we first started dating in that I wasn't demanding that he dropped exes from his friends list or vice versa.
In your shoes, I'd be more concerned if the guy who you're seeing wasn't as above-board as he is about being in touch with his former wife. It's early days for you two, so just see how things go.
I am friends with all my Ex's. When I married I spoke to my fiance to assure transparency.... She met and knows most of them.. In turn, all of them respected the boubdaries we set. They are all still connected via Facebook and still talk to them. No problems.
bebe--I don't recall, but how old are you? I don't unfriend people on FB, but that doesn't mean I communicate with them or hold a torch for them. I can block them if their posts bother me and no one knows.
If this is a concern for you, you're thinking way too much....
Do you want a relationship or do you want to obsess about who their friends are on fake social media?
Sometimes in life you just have to dive in. Is this one of those times or are you looking for a way out?
I’ve been divorced from the first Mr. Dokie for 43 years (no kids). I hadn’t seen him since 1997. A few years ago he sent me a FB friend request which I accepted. He occasionally comments on my posts, and vice versa. I assure you there is nothing nefarious going on. Our marriage ended poorly but at one point in my life I did love him and we had some good times.
For me, being friends with one's ex(es) either in real life or on social media doesn't strike me as odd at all. I'm friends with most of my exes, several of them are also on my FB friends list; up until his death in March, I still communicated via Messenger with my former husband.
My current partner is not FB friends with his former wife, but he *is* FB (and in real life) friends with several of the women who he dated before me including his former fiancee. I don't really think all that much about it, to be honest.
As we're in a loving, secure, committed relationship, neither my partner nor I think that much about it these days although it did give my man pause when we first started dating in that I wasn't demanding that he dropped exes from his friends list or vice versa.
In your shoes, I'd be more concerned if the guy who you're seeing wasn't as above-board as he is about being in touch with his former wife. It's early days for you two, so just see how things go.
Good post.
At this early stage, I would not take this FB friends thing too seriously.
So I noticed this new guy I'm seeing is still friends with his ex wife on facebook. They were only married for 6 years, have no kids together and have been divorced almost 3 years, so I don't see why they would still be friends on there. I will admit I don't know how active either one of them is on there, but I would think in the course of 3 years one of them would have thought to unfriend the other. I know it's not that big of a deal, but from my experience when I've stayed friends on social media with an ex after our relationship ended it was because I still held a torch for them (I'm not currently friends with any of my exes on social media btw). I'm not saying that is what is going on here, but I guess I'm just a bit more uncomfortable with it than most because of my experience. Should I be concerned? Or is this nothing to even take think twice about?
He should definitely friend you, being a “new guy”, and should definitely disregard his prior 6 year marriage and 3 years of continued friendship with someone else. Clearly your importance surpasses all others.
Getting divorced doesn't mean people need to become enigmas to one another. Most people want to see what the other is up to from time to time.
If relationships end so bad they repel each other, or there is a long line of ex's, this could be a red flag
Some people get cheated on or abused, many marriages end badly with communication breaking down. Some people you can't deal with and the healthy thing is to put it in the past and move on. For some people the end of a relationship is just that. It's not an issue to just move on. Some are sensitive to the pain of the breakup/ divorce and also don't want to keep those memories around them.
I'd be more worried about people who more easily end relationships. A bunch of exes they are friends with would concern me, like they are collecting exes and don't take relationships that seriously and/or end them over something minor, are very picky, etc.
So I noticed this new guy I'm seeing is still friends with his ex wife on facebook. They were only married for 6 years, have no kids together and have been divorced almost 3 years, so I don't see why they would still be friends on there. I will admit I don't know how active either one of them is on there, but I would think in the course of 3 years one of them would have thought to unfriend the other. I know it's not that big of a deal, but from my experience when I've stayed friends on social media with an ex after our relationship ended it was because I still held a torch for them (I'm not currently friends with any of my exes on social media btw). I'm not saying that is what is going on here, but I guess I'm just a bit more uncomfortable with it than most because of my experience. Should I be concerned? Or is this nothing to even take think twice about?
I have no idea why people care so much about social media.
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