New guy I'm seeing friends with ex wife on social media (date, boyfriend)
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They could be like me and my ex. We got along better after the divorce than before. My wife knew she was on my friends list and even left messages (nothing mean) every now and then through my FB page. If you trust him, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
So I noticed this new guy I'm seeing is still friends with his ex wife on facebook. They were only married for 6 years, have no kids together and have been divorced almost 3 years, so I don't see why they would still be friends on there. I will admit I don't know how active either one of them is on there, but I would think in the course of 3 years one of them would have thought to unfriend the other. I know it's not that big of a deal, but from my experience when I've stayed friends on social media with an ex after our relationship ended it was because I still held a torch for them (I'm not currently friends with any of my exes on social media btw). I'm not saying that is what is going on here, but I guess I'm just a bit more uncomfortable with it than most because of my experience. Should I be concerned? Or is this nothing to even take think twice about?
The only concern I see is his, and the fact you went through his friends list.
The only concern I see is his, and the fact you went through his friends list.
Umm why? His friends list isn’t private information. It’s not like she went through his phone or something. And Facebook shows like 6 of your friends on your profile page so maybe that’s how she saw her.
I would be concerned over it... one of my 'rules' is when it's over it stays over, no friends, nothing. Clean the slate and move on. But that's me. Other people may be different in this regard.
I'd say most people are more mature than you. Others may disagree with me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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One of my very few giant red flags is a person that is not friends with ANY of their exes. If a person becomes disposable just because they're no longer romantically involved, that is not a person I'd want to be with. They were really never real friends with the people they were involved with. Of course, some relationships are toxic or abusive, but all of them have been? Eek, proceed with caution. Huge amounts of caution.
Being friends (with at least some) exes shows maturity and that their relationship had a friendship at the core that lives past an amicable end to the romantic/sexual side of things. Sounds like a person I'd like to get to know.
People can, and often remain friends with their former romantic partners and former husbands and former wives. I actually know of quite a few people whose current romantic partner was introduced to them by their very own ex-husband/ex-wife, after they got a divorce.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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If it is just a matter of him being on her friends list, no cause for alarm. If they are actively posting kind of flirtatious content on each other’s walls, that’s different.
I’m FB friends with my ex but we really don’t engage in active conversations. We are cordial, I even ran into her up in her town a few weeks ago with friends and had a good time out. If no one really did anything wrong and it was just not meant to be I wouldn’t be worried about someone having a shallow friendship with an ex.
...Should I be concerned? Or is this nothing to even take think twice about?
Of course not. It means he is a nice guy with a healthy attitude toward others, and had a friendly separation with his ex. Many people do, especially those that are mature and well-adjusted.
In your situation, I would be more concerned about your response to his friendship. There may be some cause for a little mental checkup on that, and no I am not saying you have a problem, but it never hurts to discuss one's emotional responses with an objective bystander -- preferably one who is well-adjusted themself.
I'd say most people are more mature than you. Others may disagree with me.
Typical unwarranted potshot - how surprising.
Well, if choosing to *not* be friends with people who have lied to me, cheated on me, used me, etc. makes me 'immature' then have at it. Tells me much about you. At least I know I have higher standards and will never compromise them.
You can chew the cud on this one and then respond if you have the courage to do so: tell me what makes liars, cheaters, and users more 'mature' than those who do not tolerate them? Take all the time you need - this is 'heavy stuff'.
Treat me wrong, you're OUT. And you stay OUT. Don't like the rules then you're free to not play.
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