Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have this co-worker who worked with us last year and she eventually moved out of state across the country because she had gotten married and was starting a new life with her husband and eventually first born son. But just last month, I was surprised to see that she came back here. What's more is that I was surprised to see her using her maiden name.
Before she moved, she was always very outing and extroverted, and she'd talk to me often, but now it seems like she's even flirting with me. She's constantly going out of her way to say hi, wave at me, etc. and at first I thought that it was strange since I assumed that she was still married, but now I'm thinking that their marriage may have fallen apart.
She's using her maiden name and I recently had a conversation with her about her move. She wasn't super specific, but she mentioned moving back because her in-laws "drove her crazy" and she's mentioned that she's now living with her parents while she "gets back on her feet". I haven't tried to get too much more details out of here because it's a personal and potentially sensitive subject, but I'm here wondering what you guys think. Does it sound like she's single now? And what's my best option for making a move on someone who appears to be recently divorced or separated?
I think you should just ask HER. Perhaps take out to lunch or offer to go for a drink after work?
What about her child??
If she is recently divorced or separated, do you think she is ready for another relationship? Do you want to deal with the baby's daddy in the background?
Does she wear an engagement or wedding ring? If not, given her use of her maiden name and flirting there's two flags stating availability ! Make your move before she changes her mind.
Does she wear an engagement or wedding ring? If not, given her use of her maiden name and flirting there's two flags stating availability ! Make your move before she changes her mind.
I really want to make a move, but I'm just keeping in mind the possibility that she may not be ready for that yet.
The last picture that her and her husband posted together with their baby son was in September, which is still fairly recent, and I'm certain that she may still be dealing with finalizing the divorce and a potential custody battle. There's also the fact that she mentioned her parents living a whole hour away from our work and her comments about trying to get back on her feet.
I just want to ensure that she's actually ready for dating given that a potential divorce is still fresh.
Based on the OP's previous history especially with a college girl (he thought just because she stared at him, she had the 'hots' for him), it seems like he still needs to do a lot more to change his mindset when it comes to women. That is, he needs to stop putting the cart before the horse, stop making wedding plans before even finding out if someone really likes him in an intimate kind of way.
And stop stretching things out unnecessarily with what ifs and what nots, she has the hots for me but she may not be ready yet. If people cannot or will not properly gauge another person's true interest in them, then at least save months and years of heartache by asking them for their phone number, social media, or other contact info and ask them out on a date.
I really want to make a move, but I'm just keeping in mind the possibility that she may not be ready for that yet.
The last picture that her and her husband posted together with their baby son was in September, which is still fairly recent, and I'm certain that she may still be dealing with finalizing the divorce and a potential custody battle. There's also the fact that she mentioned her parents living a whole hour away from our work and her comments about trying to get back on her feet.
I just want to ensure that she's actually ready for dating given that a potential divorce is still fresh.
Ask her out for coffee and go slow. We've only got one shot at life. Sounds like a green flag for you.
If she's not interested, she'll tell you. Do it.
A few things: how many people that she knew previously still are at the same workplace? Are you one of a handful still there? That could be why she goes out of her way, in your opinion, to say hi to you. Even if there are more, that can simply mean that she's trying to reestablish connections with co-workers. Those connections are not necessarily romantic. She said she's trying to get back on her feet. Friendliness with co-workers is certainly part of that.
Using her family name means nothing. My daughter kept her family name. Not a big deal.
You work with the woman. As an adult it's rarely a good idea to have a relationship with a co-worker. She has a baby. She lives with her parents an hour away. She "MIGHT" be a single parent soon with who knows what kind of relationship with the purported Ex and unknown custody issues. Even IF she is divorcing after a short marriage, that is a lot to deal with psychologically. Moving back in with her parents and being a new mother is a LOT to deal with psychologically. Do you really want to deal with that or our you just interested in her because you are interpreting friendliness as a romantic interest?
Finally, I'll say this. It's a problem that a woman cannot be friendly to a male without that person thinking it's flirting and she wants to jump in bed with him.
Ask her out for a coffee - and keep it to coffee - and while there ask her what's up with her appearing back here when last you heard she was married and having a new baby. Any interested friend would do this. Don't go any further than this, right now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
